Dispareo (PUBLISHED UNDER PSICOM)

XXVI : Fear came true

(Chapter Theme above; Sorry – Sleeping with Sirens)

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XXVI:

Fear came true

DANA

"I hate myself, this time I'm saying it literally." Bulalas ko habang pinagmamasdan siyang nakahiga na sa sahig matapos kong ipatikim sa kanya ang sipang natutunan ko mula kay Sonya.

"Not bad pathetic-me, not bad." Nakangisi niyang sambit habang hinahaplos ang dugong lumitaw sa gilid ng labi niya pero hindi gaya ng dugo ko, kulay itim ang sa kanya. Gusto ko pa sana siyang undayan ng sipa at tadyak pero napakabilis siyang makatayo.

"You know, we don't have to fight each other. We can work together, even live together! We can also be each other's best friend, ayaw mo nun, hindi ka na uli mag-iisa?" Kaswal niyang sambit sabay ngisi.

"I already have a bestfriend—"

"Don't you dare mention her fucking name!" Bigla na lamang umalingawngaw ang napakalakas niyang sigaw. Kung kanina ay nagagawa pa niyang ngumiti at ngumisi, ngayo'y punong-puno na ng galit ang kanyang mukha. Mula sa boses hanggang sa mga mata, wala akong ibang nababasa sa kanya kundi galit, napakatinding galit.

"W-wait you hate her?" Nakunot ang noo ko.

"That bitch left us alone when we needed her the most! We were at the brink of death pero asan siya?! She didn't even ask if we were still alive! She just disappeared and never even made a call or said goodbye! I hate her to death! You should hate her!" Punong-puno ng galit ang bawat pagbitaw niya ng salita. At sa bawat salita niya, labis akong nanlulumo kasi nabitawan ko mismo ang mga salitang 'to kay Cielo. I blamed her for everything and insisted the things I assumed.

"She was in coma for months and was committed to a mental institution! Ikaw ang—Tayo ang mali! Cielo loves us okay?! Cielo is still the Cielo we grew up with!" Giit ko na lamang kahit pa sobrang sakit na ng lalamunan ko't nagsisimula na namang tumakas ang luha mula sa mga mata ko.

"O tapos?! What's your point stupid bitch?! We were there when her psychotic grandpa kept on going after her! We protected her! We were kids but we fought for her! We were scared but we protected her! She left us alone and even broke Raze's heart! You saw how heartbroken he was right?!" She argued but tears started streaming down her face. Looking at her right now, reminds me of what I felt years ago. Before knowing the truth, I was her... I was definitely like this.

"Yang nangyayari sa'yo? That's Cielo's fault! This is all her fault! If we never met her, our lives would've been better! She's better off dead and I hope she dies and rots in hell for the rest of time!" Muli niyang pagwawala.

"W-whose fear are you?" May idea na ako pero sa kabila nito ay hindi ko parin mapigilang magtanong.