SOTC: Don't Let Me Down by The Chainsmokers feat. Daya
• I call your name but you're not around •
The service was held in our tiny graveyard, stiff slabs of stone populating the grassy field. Gabriel stood to the side of the open grave, dirt spilling out like the guts of a–
Stop it, Carl.
The sky matched my mood in a kind of patchwork gray, heavy smog settling along the fence. It was a colder day than usual, and now that most of the Alexandrians had gathered around the hole, the steam mingled together in the air.
I felt too numb to wonder how they dredged Kee out of the wreckage, or whether she had turned beforehand. It went by as an unspoken thought as if a river had swept it away.
She's gone, this is so wrong.
Every detail seemed superimposed on the backs of my eyelids. Gabriel welcomed us and began a prayer. I scrambled for the reassuring words, but each verse was replaced by another before it processed completely.
"For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven." I looked down at my shoes and pushed around some dirt as Gabriel spoke, "A time to be born, and a time to die. A time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted."
Gabriel shifted and peered down at his bible again. "A time to break down, and a time to build up. A time to weep, and a time to laugh. A time to mourn and a time to dance."
His voice lifted from a steady monotone as he let out a sigh. "For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven."
He closed the bible, holding his spot with a finger wedged in the pages. "Let me start off by saying that Keira was a wonderful girl."
The was hit me hard. I hadn't heard anybody else refer to her in past tense yet. Another pang of emotion ricocheted through my body.
"She helped teach me that I can't just sit around and do nothing while the world crumbles around me." He swallowed and let his hand fall to his side. "Anybody that was blessed enough to talk with her knew her unwavering confidence and desire to help others, though unprovoked."
The entire field was silent, save for the wind smattering in the trees. Gabriel waited a couple peaceful moments before speaking again, "Would anybody here want to say something?"
A couple heads swiveled towards me. I knew that everybody else was probably wanting me to try, but I felt so leaden with emotion that it would be impossible. I was the obvious one to say a tribute, but the words caught in my throat.
But Kee wanted me to be strong. I raised my hand and nodded at Gabriel, who gestured for me to come forward.
Heads bowed down. The people looking up had glazed eyes and solemn expressions. I tried not to choke on my breath, but I could not stir up words that would do justice to my makeshift eulogy.
"My name is Carl Grimes, and I was Kee... Keira's best friend." I gulped. The back of my throat was sticky. I opened my mouth, about to say something like I miss her but I doubted that everybody else would want to hear that. "She brought me courage when I needed it most. And she taught me that the strongest people cannot take off days, especially now that all this—" I gestured around me. "Has happened."
"But..." I wanted to add more, but all I could do was scrape the bottom of my barrel. "She helped me in the darkest times, and I helped her too. She showed me that love can be dangerous, and how the risk can be worth it. And sometimes the best thing you can do is stay alive for everybody you left behind."
Gabriel caught my gaze. A silent checkup to make sure I was done, and I nodded back. Returning to my seat was a blur, mostly because I was thinking about the words I had said.
Were they true for me? Perhaps. What I had said a couple nights ago, about wanting to spend the next two days with her as more than a friend, those words did not hold any truth. A few kisses wouldn't change the fact that she was the best thing that happened to me.
What she had said back: If I take you down with me, then it just proves that on the inside, I'm already a monster. She wasn't the monster. If anything, my vain suggestion made me the beast.
I knew I shouldn't be feeding myself these dark thoughts. It would only undermine me. But they kept coming, plaguing my conscious with a kind of dark forcefield from reality. Why was I always such a jerk? The only priority in my mind was myself... That's why I never noticed Kee's bite. Oh, I really don't deserve to grieve for her.
I picked my head up from my hands. I hadn't even noticed it was there. It was dripping with clear, salty tears that were warm against my face. Don't let yourself think about it, I told myself, trying to pry the fears and hopes away. It'll only make everything hurt more.
---------------------------------------------
A/N: Good mourning!
(Yeah, I waited overnight so I could use that pun.)
Thoughts on this chapter? Please guys I really want some feedback. Over the summer I'm definitely going to go over this story and fix it all up, and the more help you give me, the better the future chapters will be.
Sidenote: I got Trials of Apollo: The Hidden Oracle by Rick Riordan the day it came out and finished it the day after. Whoops :P
QOTD: What is your right sock?
AOTD: Blue and light gray polka dots
---------------------------------------------
Chapters left:
2
Word Count:
1029
Created 5-5-16
Edited 5-31-16
-------------------------------------------
Verse used:
Ecclesiastes 3
Since I've never been to a funeral, I used this website as a guideline :)
http://portsmouth.anglican.org/baptisms_weddings_and_funerals/bereavement_and_funerals/what_happens_in_the_funeral_service/?print=1&cHash=24985e4a64
YOU ARE READING
BITE ME ➼ C. G. 〖 #wattys2016 〗
FanfictionKeira is a survivor. She doesn't fall for tricks, she turns her back to the past and walks on. She carries secrets as her burdens. Guilt and sadness curdle inside her, but she's learned how to mask it. Cares and carelessness cause her to make mi...
