Keeping My Hopes Up

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"I love him. I love you, Shawn. If anything happens to you, I don't know what I will do with myself. I need you to be ok." Jess said quietly. She took out her phone and called him. It went straight to voicemail. So she left a message. What Jess did not know was that her mother was right behind her door, listening to every word she said.

"Shawn, I know you can't hear this right now, but I want you to know how much I love you, ok. I really wish I could be in Paris with you r..right now." Jess choked on her words. "But I can't so I need to send my love through a voicemail that won't even get to you in time. How can this be happening? It was my worst nightmare for you to get hurt in an attack and guess what happened. You did. Huh. If only I was there, I could have done something. I need you to be ok. Please Shawn, be the strong muffin I know you are and make it through this. Because when you get home, I'll be here, waiting for you with a big smile on my face and open arms. I love you so much. Please don't leave me, not again. Please." Jess was unable to say anything more because the voicemail time ended. She threw her phone onto the other side of her bed, slamming it on the foot board and crawled onto the floor. She took off her sweatshirt, leaving herself in a thin t-shirt. Sitting in a small ball, she cradled it in her arms, laying her head on it. The tears once again came back, as she recalled every memory she had with Shawn. First meeting him. Seeing him after the concert. Hanging out at Central Park. The next concert. Their first kiss. Instead of happy and light times to think of, they became dark and haunting. They only made Jess hurt more.

"Why? WHY!? Why could it not be me! Why him!? What did he ever do to this world or to anyone to deserve this!?!" NOTHING!" Jess screamed and held onto the sweatshirt tighter. She still had no idea her mom was hearing every word that came out of her mouth. Then her mom walked away and back to her office. Jess was not sure how long she sat there crying. It had to be at least a half hour. Finally, there was a knock on the door.

"WHAT!!??" she yelled angrily. Jess looked up and saw her mom walking in her room with a empty bag.

"Are you going to start packing or not? Our flight leaves in an hour!" Jess stared at her mom in shock.

"Wait, what?! We are going?!"

"Yes, we are going to Paris. Come on!" Her mom said, dropping the bag and leaving. Jess sprung up, grabbed random outfits, shoved them in the bag, took her phone and sprinted out the door. Her mother was waiting for her in the car. 

They drove and reached the airport just in time. The seats were the worst on the plane, with little space but Jess did not care. They were going to Shawn. That was all that mattered.

Midway through the long flight, Jess asked her mom "What made you change your mind?"

Her mom looked at her thoughtfully. "Well, I regret the decision I made but it is too late to turn around anyway. I got the tickets to Paris because I heard what you said. What you said to yourself and to the phone. I'm sorry for intruding on your business, but I was coming upstairs and happened to hear you. And the way you reacted showed me that you really care about him. About Shawn."

Jess suddenly felt nervous. Her mom heard that she said she loved Shawn. Their little secret was out.

"Oh."

"Honey, its ok that you love him. How could you not? He is Shawn Mendes and is a really great person. I can see that you guys are pretty close friends. I would be this upset if my friend got shot and would do anything to get to them, just like you."

Jess mentally sighed in relief. Her mom thought their love was only through friendship. A good sign. For the rest of the flight, Jess tried to sleep. But she couldn't because Shawn kept popping up in her mind. She hated it that she had no way of finding out if he was ok. Then it hit her. 

"Mom, we came all of this way, but we have no idea what hospital he is in."

"Don't worry, I will call his mom." Jess's mom called Mrs. Mendes and she picked up.

"Hello."

"Hi Karen, it is Lori."

"Oh hi Lori. I am sort of busy at the moment and now is not a great time. Maybe you can call again tomorrow."

"We know about Shawn's accident. We are very sorry. Jess is breaking down, upset and worried. Any chance you can tell me what hospital he is at?"

"He is at the Hospital Americain de Paris. Why? Are-Are you guys here?" Mrs. Mendes asked surprised.

"Yeah, our fight is just about to land. Jess and I will be there soon. How is Shawn doing?"

"He is ok. They are doing surgery right now, so he should be done  within an hour. I need to go. See you soon." Mrs. Mendes hung up. The flight ended minutes later and Jess and her mom got a taxi to drive them to the hospital. It was over an hour away. It felt like the most painful ride of Jess's life. They finally got there.

Running through the double doors, Jess asked the lady at the front desk what room Shawn was in. She was worried she would not be allowed in, for she was not an importance to Shawn's family. But the lady seemed new and gave her the room number. Jess almost tripped on her dash up the stairs and through hallways. Her mom could barely keep up. They soon reached the room, but a security guard stood in their way.

"No trespassers past this point." he said in a deep,unfriendly voice.

"I am not a tresspasser. I need to see Shawn! Let me in!" Jess said to him sternly.

"No fans allowed. Now go home girl, you have no business here."

"Yes I do! Shawn is my bo-close friend! I need to see him."

"No! Go or I will call more security to make you leave!" the man threatened. Jess tightened her fists into balls. She didn't care what she had to do to get past him. If that meant giving him a knuckle sandwich, it was ok with her. Jess was about to slam the guy in the face when John, Shawn's main body guard walked by.

"Jess? What are you doing here?" he asked.

"I am here for Shawn and he won't let me get past." John gave the guy a look and he stepped aside, grunting. Jess hurried forward and into the room. Shawn's family was just exiting. 

"Jess." Mrs. Mendes said.

"Hi."Jess said quickly, walking past them. And there he was, lying on one of the hospital beds, bandaged and looking unhappy. When Jess walked in, his face immediately changed and he looked actually happy even with all of the pain.

"Jess!?" he said, completely surprised she was there.

"Shawn!"

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