Desert Song-A mcr kidnapping

We cant stop it..

It's been what I can assume a month since that whole thing. I thought everything would be fine and I wouldn't have the urge to break out of here every five seconds. Everything has taken a turn for the worst. Gerard makes the guys abuse me verbally physically and sexually, though i can tell that they don't want to, they do. They're all afraid of Gerard. I'm covered head to toe with bruises and cuts, and my mental state is as bad as it can be. I'm at rock bottom and there's no chance of me getting better, I find ways to self harm any time I can. I drink whenever I can get my hands on anything alcoholic, and when it's "Gerard's day" everything is so easily obtainable. I took a few of his blades and dubbed them as my own, I sneak vodka and whiskey from his room, and he has a few bottles of pills that looked like they haven't been touched in forever so those are mine. The guys just think that one of the others acid this to me when a good proportion of destruction is my own work.

I was locked in Gerard's room while they all went out to get groceries and stuff. This was a usual thing but only happened on Frank or Mikeys days. They were the most gentle with me. Gerard and Ray just go full out with me. It surprised me that Ray was doing this too.
I was thinking about how things are at home. Did jimmy replace me? Did he get worried and call the police? Were they looking for me? Did the news reach my parents? Did they care? Did my brother care? I started to think about my old friends, I had the privilege to know greed day, Billie being by best friend. He was the only friend I could ever trust. My only real friend. And he probably forgot about me.

My thoughts were interrupted by the door unlocking and Frank walking in.
"Come with me. I need to talk to you." He said.
I got up and walked with him to his room. He locked the door and sat on his bed signaling for me to sit by him. Scared of what's going on I complied.

"I have a plan..I'm going to get out of here and go buy us a house far away from here, get a new car, and then come back and get you. I have money saved up already so this with take a month tops. We're finally getting free Jayden!" He whispered to me with a smile.
"You're leaving? Why can't I just come with you now?" I said looking at our fingers interlocked.
"Because I'm Afraid if we both leave he'll send everyone out to get us and it won't work" he said looking around the room.
"Oh okay" I said. "What if something happens and you don't come back what if I am stuck here for the rest of my life until I die. I'll die broken confused sad and abused." I said. Tears were forming In my eyes.
"Shh don't cry I'll come back, i promise!" He says trying to lighten the mood.
I looked him in the eyes "so I guess this is goodbye then?" He looked down at our hands intertwined with sad eyes and whispered "yeah I guess it is for now" he looked up and I could see his eyes are getting watery. I knew he would cry. He'd never cry in front of me, he never would. he was too strong for that he wanted to make sure that I thought that everything turn out fine. But deep down there is a sinking feeling that told me that it wouldn't be.
"I have to get packing and planning and I don't want gee to worry, so I have to put you back in the room before he gets concerned" he said standing up.

He led me back to the room
"You are doing this tonight?" I asked.
"Most likely" he said nodding.

"Goodbye Frankie."
"Goodbye Jayden"
And with that I was left alone with my thoughts.