The Fault In Our Shameron

Chapter One

"Shawn get up you have been sleeping for days!"

Mom opens my curtains and I cover my eyes from the horrible light.

"Mom my life is nothing but gloom, sorrow, and shadows." I say waving her off to get out.

"Shawn Peter-Raul Mendes I want you to live your life to the fullest! Not in a bed sleeping all day. Also you have a appointment today." I grunted.

"Mooommm close the curtain."

She takes the blanket off of me and turns on the radio that I rarely use on my desk.

"Shawn come on! Lets groove!" I sit up with droppy eyelids and look at mom who is dancing horribly.

"Okay okay! Turn down the music and stop dancing. You're worsening my condition with your moves." She laughs as she gets out.

I sigh and change into different clothing. A black hoodie and grey joggers.

I go downstairs and my mom and dad and little sister are sitting at the table. They have a plate of food for me. "Special" food. Consisting of ice cream, waffles, whip cream, berries, and bacon. With some of the pills I have to take. Arranged in a smile this time. I look at my parents with a over exaggerated look.

"Really?" They nod quickly and smiled.

"Now lets eat."

I take my pills with milk and begin eating my breakfast. My parents discuss about their jobs and stuff like that and they also kept looking at me.

"Am I eating too fast? Too slow?" I asked them.

"Shawn. Im thinking about doing only night shifts so I can look after you." Mom says. I put my fork and and stop eating.

"Why do you need to do that?"

"Because you must be depressed because we haven't been bonding with you enough and all you do is be in your room all day." My jaw drop in shock and I chuckle.

"Mom! I'm not depressed. I stay in there because I have nothing to do. I graduated and all my friends went to a college or moved away." I explained to them.

"Ohhhh!" Both my parents say. I nod and continue eating.

"Then find new friends." Aaliyah says.

"I don't want to. I don't need pity."

"Support group?" Mom says. I immediately put my fork down. Again.

"No! This isn't the fault in our stars."

"Fault in our what?" Dad asks.

"It's- nevermind. I'm not going." They backed off and I finish eating.

It's twelve p.m. and I put on my shoes and wait in the living room for my mom. She comes downstairs and she opens the door.

"Come on Shawn."

I sigh and get up from the sofa and follow mom to the car. Along the way mom keeps scolding me to change my face.

"Shawn stop putting that face. I thought you weren't depressed."

I respond with a overly exaggerated happy smile. And I turn my head back to the window.

-

"Shawn please stop sighing. Its only been ten minutes and you sighed over thirty times."

"Sorry Dr. Goldy." And I sigh.

She draws my blood and does a physical. You're probably wondering. What's wrong with me? Well I was diagnosed with a heart defect. No one knew my heart was extremely weak until, at age twelve, I had multiple heart murmurs when I fainted during recess. From that day on I was treated with many medications. They helped but not enough. What I needed was a heart transplant because my heart muscle is getting thinner by the years. And available hearts are extremely hard to find. I was put on a waiting list which when a new heart was found for me I can do the transplant but it would be in ten years. Or more because of my blood type. But for now I'm living with a weak heart with pain here and there.

"Okay Shawn everything seems to be perfect."

"Except my heart. It'll give out someday and I'll die." I said stating the cold truth.

"He's depressed?" Dr. Goldy asked.

"Yes he is." My mom said to her. I laugh saying,

"I'm not depressed! I'm just being honest." They both look at me skeptically.

"Why don't you go do something then? It doesn't have to be a club or a group but somewhere where you can meet new people." She says.

This is the conversation I have all the time. Do something. Live my life. Meet new people. Everyday I'm told that! I'm grateful my family and doctor is trying to cheer me up but I don't want to take their advice. But I guess I should listen to them. Mostly because if I'm told this one more time, I'm going to scream.

"Okay fine." I said sighing.

"Good. Now let me fill in some paperwork and both of you will be good to go. Any questions?" Mom and I said no.

Dr. Goldy comes back and discharges us from the hospital.

"See you next month. And Shawn, please have fun."

"I'll try." I say hugging her.

We get out of the hospital and get in the car. And mom drives to a different street that goes away home.

"Mom where are we going?" I asked confused.

"We need food duh." I sigh. I just want to go home.

"Shawn stop it. You need fresh air with other people. Be with society." Instead of sighing I rolled my eyes.

"Society sucks."

When we got into a supermarket I try to look for things to get myself like milk, alone, to help out but mom doesn't want me to leave her sight. So I sighed again.

Once we finished we went to the checkout lane. Then my mom panicked.

"Shit!" I look at her shockingly because she just said a bad word.

"What?" I ask a little worried myself.

"I forgot to get something important." I look in the cart and I rolled my eyes. MY vitamins. Something I should have, to keep my heart "strong" but she forgot to get some because I finished the bottle. I mean she could just say my vitamins.

"I can wait here mom don't worry. Or I can get it myself. I know what you forgot." She looks around and the line to the checkout is moving forward.

"Okay but IF anything happens..."

"Mom. I'll be fine." She nods but runs off faster than I ever saw her. I laughed but pushed the cart as the line moves.

It's only a minute later and a cart comes behind me. I know without looking because the cart hits my back and pushed me forward.

"Holy shit! I'm so sorry! Are you okay?!"

"Cameron! You dumbass." A female voice said.

I turn around to a guy and a girl but my eyes locked on the guy who has the cart. He looks so... Amazing.

"Oh it's fine. Don't worry about it." I say finally.

I can see his face turning red. Probably of embarrassment.

"Sorry man." I just smiled and laughed a little to show I'm not mad or anything. He smiles a little in return.

"Excuse me." My mom says walking towards me. "I'm back."

"Okay." And she tosses the vitamins in the cart. I look back, at I'm guessing, at Cameron who was looking at me but turned his head quickly when I saw him.

I chuckled and I started putting the groceries on the conveyer belt. And when we finished I took one last look at him. He waved bye and smiled.

See ya Cameron.