The Fault In Our Shameron

Chapter Fifteen

Shawn's POV

A week later...

So I guess I finally am gloomy and emotionless. As my death is coming closer and closer. I don't want this anymore. Now I have to wear this stupid thing around my nose. And I've been ignoring Cameron. It's selfish of me but I don't want that event to happen again.

I layed on my bed all day staring at the ceiling.

"Sweetie?" I hear mom come in.

"You know mom I think it finally happened." I say flatly.

"What's that?" She says standing my the door frame.

"I think I'm finally gloomy like what you and dad always say I am."

"Aww sweetie." She comes to my bed and I sit up.

"Mom I don't feel any emotions anymore. I died and I don't even care. Maybe it's because it should've happened." I say. Not even sighing.

"Oh sweetie. Don't say that. I know this must be hard for you. But everything happens. I'm sorry that you have to live like this honey. And trust me it hurts me so much too that you have to suffer like this. But remember, you will always mean so much to us." I smiled a little and hugged my mom.

"Can I go for a quick drive mom? I want to use as much of my driving privileges as I can."

"Sure sweetie. Just make sure you have your phone ready. And be careful." I nod

"Okay. I'm going to be at the park we used to go to."

-

"Yeah I want a pack of cigarettes."

"Aren't you young?" The clerk said.

"I'm eighteen."

"ID?" I pull it out and the clerk checks it and hands it back. "Who is this for?"

"It's none of your business." I say coldly.

"Look kid these things can ruin your life."

"I know that."

"There are other ways to cope with things. But this is not one of them. Tell your friends, if not your family."

"I have nobody. Also I need a lighter."

"You can-"

"A pack of cigarettes please. Doesn't matter if you don't give em to me. I can go somewhere else anyways." He sighs and hesitantly grabs a pack and a lighter.

"Eight dollars and seventeen cents." I hand him a ten.

"Keep the change." And I walked out of the store.

I put the pack in my jacket and grabbed the oxygen tank out from the trunk. I hesitantly put the cannula back on. And I took it off when I arrived at the park.

I texted mom that I'm at the park. And she says she's preparing dinner.

I walk to the old bench table near a small garden. I take out the cigarette package and stare at it. Am I really going to do this?

I flip open the package and grab one white cigarette. I guess I am doing this.

I put the stick of cancer in between my lips. I stare at the afternoon sky and took my last breath of fresh air. I grab the lighter from my pocket and flipped open the lid and lit the flame. Staring at the orange flame.

It was so close to touching the cigarette until I heard a bark and Jaxx snatched the package from my hands.

"Hey give it back Jaxx!" I yell angrily and when I turned around I felt the lighter and the cigarette on my lips being snatched from me.

"Shawn what are you doing?!"

Cameron.

"Don't worry about it! It's my life!" I snatched the lighter but he tore the cigarette in half twice and throws it.

"I care! Damn it Shawn!" He pulls his hair and Jaxx went next to Cameron and he grabs the pack from Jaxx.

"Give me the pack." I say harsh. He rips open the package and tears up all the cigarettes. "You asshole! I just bought that!"

"Where's your cannula and oxygen tank?" He demands.

"In the damn car." He grabs my arm but I forcefully grabbed his hand and pushed it away. "I can walk myself."

"Come on Jaxx!"

I follow Cameron and a woman comes near us.

Sierra.

"Sierra you drive home. I'm driving Shawn."

"I can drive myself!" I walk to the car and as soon as I reached the driver's seat Cameron blocks me.

"Give me the keys. I'm driving."

"Move."

"Give me the god damn keys Shawn!" I threw my keys at him and went into the passenger's side.

"I fucking hate you." I spit coldly.

He goes into the trunk and gets my oxygen tank and gets in.

"Put it on." I snatched it from him and put on the cannula.

He starts to drive off. A while later my vision gets blurry. I blink and I can see clearly and warm tears dripping off my cheek. I turn to Cameron and seems like he's doing the same.

"Where are we going?" I asked. He passed the street that leads home.

"Somewhere to talk."

We arrived at a rocky road and forest trees. It looks beautiful honestly. He gets out and I do too. I follow him but he makes sure I'm on his side.

How the hell did it ever come to this? I missed Cameron and I've been nothing but a heartless asshole to him. He even saved my damn life.

We stop at a dock and we sit. It was silent until he speaks.

"Do you want to talk?" He asks kindly. I sigh.

"Ever since that day. Literally being revived from death. It stucked to me. I was in the phase I guess. I felt like I was followed by depression. Like I didn't want to live anymore." I sigh. "I don't know. When Dr. Goldy said it's only a matter of time before my heart gives out permanently. And what you did was out of a miracle. And thank you for that. It's just..." I stop because I might choke on my words. "I'm sorry Cameron! I just don't know what to do with my life anymore!" Cameron holds me tight and I sob onto his shirt. "Please forgive me Cameron. I just wanted to die and be free from suffering. But now for the first time I'm scared! I don't even know what I was thinking!" I hug him so tight it's like I'm never letting go. And I don't want to.

"Shawn. Of course I forgive you. And if you need someone I'm always by your side. I love you and I will never stop loving you. Just please don't ever do something like that again."

"I promise."

"Good now let's go home."

We walk back to the car and I'm in the driver's seat now. I drive him home and once we do I gave him a kiss.

"I love you too."

>>>

So my sister and my mom went into my wattpad... Because I forgot to log out of the tablet. (My phone died) They tried reading my stories and once they did. They looked at me because one, they don't know I like guys. My mom looked at me serious. I was scared until my mom says,

"If this Shawn guy dies. I will never talk to you."

And I told her (no spoilers) how it's going to go. And my sister calls me the wattpad master. They liked my books lol. But anyways thanks for reading and voting. And for the comments!