*Bilbo, walking back towards the Shire after the battle*
Bilbo: Oh, Mirkwood. Ha. They have good bread.
Thranduil: *pops out of a bush* WHAT DID YOU SAY?
Bilbo: *screams* Hey, aren't you that Elvenking?
Thranduil: No. I am THE Elvenking.
Bilbo: Yes, alright, can I help you?
Thranduil: I'm offended by how you're talking about my bread!
Bilbo: Excuse me?
Thranduil: You said it in an offensive way!
Bilbo: Said what?
Thranduil: *in high pitched voice* Haaa, they have good breeeead!
Bilbo: Isn't that supposed to be a compliment? And I didn't say it like that.
Thanduil: Yeah I love robbery, it's better than people saying I have nice hair.
Bilbo: You have nice hair?
Thranduil: Why is there any doubt?
Bilbo: I'm sorry, I just don't know why people would say that.
Thranduil: Isn't it obvious? My hair is flawless. Flaw...less. No flaws. Not one.
Bilbo: Okay but people usually don't tell others that. You know, randomly.
Thranduil: They do to me.
Bilbo: Right then. I'm just going to be going now...*slowly walks away*
Thranduil: No, you aren't.
Bilbo: Dear me, is that the time? I guess I just--
Thranduil: I have nice bread, you say?
Bilbo: Yes, it's great, especially with that one cheese from Rohan I--wait what?
Thranduil: Valar, I knew it. Thief! You petty thief!
Bilbo: What can I say, I'm a burglar.
Thranduil: I cannot believe you could steal my food and my beverages and--wait. You didn't have any wine did you? *narrows eyes suspiciously*
Bilbo: What, the 1342 Dorwinion? No, haha. But Galion did. *bursts out laughing*
YOU ARE READING
What Actually Happened With Thorin in Mirkwood
FanfictionThorin Oakenshield and Co. show up in Mirkwood. But after being arrested, the sassy Elvenking and his son have a few words for them.
