Legolas: Ada, please.
Thranduil: No.
Legolas: Fine, don't. I shall never cook for you again!! *leaves*
Thranduil: Fine Legolas come back hey
Legolas: *grinning* What was that, now?
Thranduil: All right, I'll write it. *mutters* I honestly don't see...
Legolas: See what?
Thranduil: *grumpy look* Why I have to write this!
Legolas: You were drunk!!
Thranduil: I was not.
Legolas: So calling people various sea animals and making limericks was all done while sober?
Thranduil: All right, I was almost drunk. Happy?
Legolas: Oh, Eru. You're a king. You should be telling me what to do!
Thranduil: Well, fine. I do try to allow for some...subtle...allocations, but as you wish. Go clean the floors.
Legolas: No.
Thranduil: See, what's the point?
Legolas: I have to supervise you.
Thranduil: I'll write it, promise. Go do something useful.
Legolas: Make sure it's done, my King. *leaves*
*Meanwhile*
D̶e̶a̶r̶e̶s̶t̶ ̶D̶w̶a̶r̶v̶e̶s̶ D̶e̶a̶r̶e̶s̶t̶ ̶P̶e̶o̶p̶l̶e̶ ̶I̶ ̶D̶o̶n̶'̶t̶ ̶L̶i̶k̶e̶ Dear Subjects,
A̶s̶ ̶a̶ ̶K̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶I̶ ̶a̶m̶ ̶b̶o̶u̶n̶d̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶n̶o̶t̶ ̶d̶i̶s̶h̶o̶n̶o̶r̶
A̶s̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶r̶ ̶K̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶I̶ ̶m̶u̶s̶t̶ ̶a̶p̶o̶l̶o̶g̶i̶z̶e̶ ̶f̶o̶r̶ ̶c̶a̶l̶l̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶B̶a̶l̶i̶n̶ ̶a̶ ̶w̶h̶a̶l̶e̶
As your King (since Thorin is hardly that), I must apologize for my r̶u̶d̶e̶ behavior. Even though I'm better than all of you, sometimes things get o̶u̶t̶ ̶o̶f̶ ̶h̶a̶n̶d̶ fabulous and nobody can handle it. I meant to save the wine for (uncrashed) parties but we ran out of tea and water is boring.
T̶h̶a̶n̶k̶s̶,̶ The King of Mirkwood
*Later*
Guards: *in dungeon* The Elvenking requests your presence!
Thorin: I pity that dwarf...
Guards: Then pity yourselves. All of you have been summoned.
Bofur: Great.
Fili: But why-
Kili: -do we have to go??
Thorin: This is ridiculous.
Balin: Here we go again...
Bifur: *mimes facepalm*
Gloin: UUGHIHBI:
Guards: SILENCE!
*5 min later*
Thranduil: ....King of Mirkwood.
Dwarves: *all muttering*
Thorin: His pride will be his downfall!
Nori: Wow, that was heartfelt.
Balin: Is that all?
Ori: Maybe you should buy more tea...?
Thranduil: That is all. Please leave, your voices are giving me a headache.
Legolas: *rolls eyes*
YOU ARE READING
What Actually Happened With Thorin in Mirkwood
FanfictionThorin Oakenshield and Co. show up in Mirkwood. But after being arrested, the sassy Elvenking and his son have a few words for them.
