What Actually Happened With Thorin in Mirkwood

Thrandy out!

Thorin: Ugh, not you *mutters* Elvessss....

Thranduil: DO NOT SPEAK TO ME LIKE THAT, DWARF!

Thorin: Aaand why not?

Thranduil: Because I *looks off dramatically into the distance* am a KING

Thorin: Well so am I!! 

Thranduil: You can't be a king, you don't have a kingdom!

Thorin: This is why I hate elves

Thranduil: That is why you got lost in my amazing forest, isn't it?

Thorin: You know, I hate trees. 

Thranduil. You hate everything

Thorin: Actually, I tend to like things better when elves aren't involved. 

Thranduil. I tend to be in a better mood when random hordes of Dwarves aren't invading my amazing forest. 

Thorin: Stop saying that. 

Thranduil: What?

Thorin: "My amazing forest"

Thanduil: Well, it is. 

Thorin: Actually Erebor is better

Thranduil: When Erebor wasn't full of a live dragon and burnt items, it wasn't better than my FANTASTIC, AMAZING, FABULOUS forest, and it isn't now.

Thorin: That's what you think!

Thranduil: I feel a strong urge to throw something at you....

Thorin: Try it. 

Thranduil: No, I don't think so...It would be a waste of my energy

Thorin: What, because you would miss?

Thranduil: Don't insult my obviously superior skills!

Thorin: I will!

Thranduil: And to answer your...insulting...question, no, because you're too...small.

Thorin: You are a...I'm not small!

Thranduil: You actually kind of are. 

Thorin: Elves think they're great

Thranduil: That's because we are. 

Thorin: Well *scoffs* we have BEARDS

Thranduil: Beards! Why in Eru's name would I care about beards?

Thorin: You can look like intense heroic men instead of little girls!

Thranduil: Excuse me? What did you say to me?

Thorin: Ha you silly princess!!

Thranduil: You insipid creature. You dare insult my supreme majesty over the petty topic of beards!

Thorin: Beards are wayyy too good for you. 

Thranduil: You all are so obsessed with beards. Tell me, son of Thrain son of Thror, do you enjoy looking like you have a yak attatched to your face? 

Thorin:....You're a yak

Thranduil: No I am not! Your mother was a yak!!!

Thorin: Were I the dragon Smaug, you would be burned to ashes. 

Thranduil: If you were Smaug, you would be such a poor and stupid creature that farmers would harness you to plow their fields. 

Thorin: Whatever. 

Thranduil: No, not whatever. I don't even know why I'm talking to you. 

Thorin: I honestly don't know why I'm listening. 

Thranduil: Well, maybe it's because you're surrounded by MY GUARDS to take you to MY AMAZING PRISON!

Thorin:.....