What Actually Happened With Thorin in Mirkwood

Fili and Kili (or, Take it or Leave it)

Thranduil: *fans himself with a book* Legolas!

Legolas: What is it, Ada? 

Thranduil: It's quite hot in here. 

Legolas: And....

Thranduil: No. 

Legolas: No what? 

Thranduil: It's not you, it's me. 

Legolas: *confused* Wha-

Thranduil: *shakes head* I know. It is truly tragic. But, I happen to be naturally hot. .

Legolas: What are you ta- I don't even know. 

Thranduil: Know what? Won't you stay for today's interrogation? 

Legolas: Maybe. I just baked some cookies I could eat meanwhile. 

Thranduil: YOU BAKE?

Legolas: Um. Yes. Chocolate chip. 

Thraduil: YOU BAKE?

Legolas: ....yes....

Thranduil: Hold on....YOU BAKE????????

Legolas: Didn't we have this discussion? YES ADAR I BAKE. 

Thranduil: Awhhhh, ion nin, I am SO PROUD OF YOU. Now you can grow up to be a wonderful baker and all the beautiful women will-

Legolas: I AM GROWN UP *hmph*

Thranduil: Oh, sorry I forgot. 

Legolas: *rolls eyes* Can we proceed, please? I have a very busy sched-

Thranduil: *dramatic sigh* Yes, yes, I know, the Little Prince has a whole mountain of responsibilites. 

Legolas: *hurt tone* I actually do, okay? Don't make fun. 

Thranduil: I'm not making-Oh, for Eru's sake. Guards!

*two step forward* 

Guard: Yes, my Liege, how can we be of assistance?

Thranduil: Another Dwarf for interrogation is due in a few minutes. 

Guards: Yes, sir, right away. *leave*

*meanwhile, in the dungeons*

Fili: NO WHERE ARE YOU TAKING MY BROTHER

Kili: NO FILI I WON'T LEAVE YOU 

Fili: *grabs Kili's boot* NO DONT TAKE HIM AWAY FROM MEEEEEE

Guard: Calm down!

Other guard: Maybe we should tell the Elvenking that their brains have been addled by our prisons. 

Guard: Seriously. None of the others acted in this manner....

Kili: *breaks out of their grasp* NO YOU TAKE US BOTH OR NONE AT ALL

Fili: *crossing arms* Yeah. I go with my brother. 

Guards: *murmuring* I don't know about that...he may be angry...he did say one dwarf....Should we ask him? All right. Let's go. *grab Fili and Kili*

Fili: NO KILI I WONT LEAVE YOU- *notices Kili is with him* Oh. Hello, brother. 

Kili: Hello. Where do you think they're taking us? 

Fili: I dunno. Maybe they-*guard smacks him upside the head* Hey! Ow that hurt!

Guard: It's best to keep quiet, Dwarf. 

Kili: WHY DID YOU SMACK MY *smack* OW STOP ISN'T THAT ILLEGAL EHEEY THAT HURT

Guard: *rolls eyes* .....honestly...