The Infinite White

Chapter 22 - The Mystery of Julian

Sleep didn't come that night, our bodies were tangled together as Holden held me as close to him as possible. It seems like every time he lets go something happens to me and he no longer sees me as the strong determined wolf that is to inherit command of the Delta Defence Line and it bothers me. To him I am a damsel in distress that always seems to be in need of saving and I need to take back control of my position, and earn the loyalty and respect of my pack mates by showing them what has happened has only made me stronger.

But had it? I didn't get nightmares but my fear of what's to come as started to effect me, my head is no longer clear and my instincts are scattered. I don't know what to do, I'm damaged, the sort of damaged that may never be repaired and someone like me doesn't deserve to be in command of the warriors; I would only lead them to their deaths.
What happened to me? I'm questioning my alpha, making deals with hunters and keeping secrets from those I care about most. I've alienated myself from everyone except Amber and Holden and even then they feel my distance.
So wrapped in my thoughts sleep evaded me and before I knew it, dawn was breaking and Holden was stirring. I didn't want to answer his questions, why my mind was always busy, why I wasn't sleeping, so I slipped out of his arms, grabbed some clothes and head outside. I had three days until the meeting and needed to make sure it was fool proof, nothing could go wrong otherwise I will be sentenced to death and there will be nothing Holden can do to save me.
Outside the air was cold and clear, I let it fill my lungs as if I was never going to breath again. The sun wont clear the trees for another few hours but it turned the sky a sleepy light blue. Fog covered the grounds around the house making it look like an ordinary farm house not home to a pack of wolves. In the distance I see people emerge from the tree line, change in patrol, coming straight for me was Alexis, my best friend. She joined the defence line straight after I did, my choice was her choice, we me to become leader naturally she would become my second and that's how it always was until Lianna came along; a runaway who found refuge with us she snuck her way into our lives and it was better than before and to wake up everyday knowing that we can no longer see her, hear her, breaks me a little more.
"Hey, how're you feeling?" She asks moving to my side.
"Better than yesterday but nothing will be alright until the hunters are gone for good" Alexis stood quietly next to me she surveyed the grounds as I did, the morning was peaceful, but as soon as the sun cleared the trees peace would become war, with training from dawn to dusk everyday.
"What's your schedule for today?" I ask, trying to remove my mind from the coming problems.
"Uh, food, then Jeremy and I are taking some of the younger ones to the memorial grounds to make them decide whether they want to fight for the pack or hide" Alexis has grown hard since Lianna died the pain still fresh in everyone's mind, there will be no rest until the fallen are avenged.
"Why Jeremy?"
"He's joined the Defence Line now and moving up quiet fast, he loved Lianna you know" I thought it would come as a shock to me, Jeremy wasn't one for love but it made sense she was beautiful and the pain on his face the day she was buried was plain as day, but Lianna wasn't his mate so he could do nothing.
"In love with someone who isn't your mate, it's the hardest one of all" I speak softly my mind drifting away to when I thought I could've loved Cole. Had either of them found their mate while together it would have been torture.
"He needs to feel the pain not run from it" stand tall knowing I needed to follow my own advice,
"He's grieving as are we all"
"We can grieve when all the innocents who were taken from us that night are avenged. When Lianna and the countless others can finally be at peace knowing that we took up arms against their murderers and Steven Simmons is dead at my feet" Alexis looked at me in shock she had never seen or felt just hatred radiating from me and she was worried.
I ran down the steps and walked into the fog,
"Where are you going?" Alexis shouted,
"To see the prisoner" I growled.
I staunched off into the woods heading for the prison cellar, the wolves standing guard so my approach but as I got closer, realisation crossed their face, I was in no mood for formalities, so they stayed out of my way. I didn't want to take sides in this war but my pack was my family I would die protecting them. But my Alpha had escaped his justification, he needed to be trialled for the crime he committed all those years ago and Steven needed to pay for the crimes he committed against me and my family.
Entering the last cell Keith was sitting in the corner, shirtless, bruised and covered in sweat.
"What happened?" I growled,
"You're mate, Jeremy, I think his name was, decided he wanted some answers" he looked up at me, his eyes red from the popping of blood cells.
"Well so do I but I'm not going to beat you for them" I walked over to him and he just huffed with a smile on his face,
"Right" he replied, I grabbed hold of his upper arm and helped him to his feet, pretty much dragging him to the seat. I went and sat opposite him,
"Do you know the reason Steven Simmons is attacking my pack?" I asked placing my elbows on the table.
"I might" he says through wheezed breaths,
"I want to know if Steven told me the whole story, I don't want to go to war with my own Alpha if I didn't get the whole truth" he just scoffed,
"You? Go to war with your own Alpha?" He questioned,
"I am the only one who can help you guys take him down. I don't want him killed I want him to face the justice he escaped all those years ago" Keith seemed interested.
"Look" he said sitting closer, "no one really knows the full story except for Steven and Julian" he spoke,
"Who's Julian?" I asked,
"So Taylor didn't tell you everything, huh?" I glared urging him to go on,
"Julian is Taylor's older brother, my cousin, he was thirteen when his mom died, ever since then, Julian and Steven have worked tirelessly to pull the whole family on board with their revenge plot. It took some convincing but when they took down a rogue and forced us to watch it turn back human it was hard to be a doubter.
Steven told us that an Alpha from a pack in North America escaped the wolf trial because he was to become the future Alpha. He was protected by the elders and by his father and the murder of Lorraine Simmons was swept under the rug and nobody spoke of it. Steven refused to let Lorraine be a fleeting memory and he wants Conrad Knight to pay for what he did to her and for the justice he escaped".
"What about Julian?" I ask,
"Julian went mad with the need to avenge Lorraine. With his fathers blessing at the age of sixteen he left on his own there are rumours that Julian has been finding out all he could about werewolves and about your pack and the secrets you hide, truth be told the only one who knows anything is Steven not even Taylor knows where his brother is"
I ponder on that for a second, why was Julian such a big secret? What was the end game?
"Thankyou" I say gratefully, "Now" I pulled out the hand cuffs from my back pocket,
"Training time".