♚ | SEX, YEAH! | ♚ (Chronicles of the Notorious BabyDoll)

♚ | SID 'N NANCY | ♚

"Angel, but don't let the name fool you."

- Little Darlings

♚♚♚

After relentless rehearsing that morning, my confidence had quickly settled and I returned to my dressing room; onto the next task. For some uncalculated reason, I had decided to leave my dressing room door open, which only fed in the chatter and buzz of the hallway club crusaders. At one moment, a beautiful brunette, had popped her head in. And prowled inside, surveying the room. Twisting in my boudoir chair, I turned to give her my full attention.

"Well, you must be the girl everyone's talking about; the notorious Baby Doll," She grinned, swaying.

"You've got the right girl!" I shined.

She moved over to my array of costumes and began to finger through them." You know, I saw you during our performance last night," she said, looking at me over her shoulder. "I only noticed you because of how terribly out of place you appeared. You stood right out from the audience." She smiled.

And with no gesture, as if she was just pointing out an insignificant detail she said," I'm Emily,"

I stood up from my seat, "A pleasure," I nodded, and held my hand out. I folded my arms and held my hands behind my back when I received no reply.

"Well, you put on a lovely performance last night, " I complimented.

She waved a hand,"That's nothing, honey, you should see us do our other shows, now that's entertainment!" She spoke the last words with eyes wide with fantastic marvel. It was quite infectious.

"Oh, what's not to love?" I teased.

She spun around fiercely."It's your first night on the stage, isn't it? "

I nodded.

"Well, break a leg, Doll" She winked wickedly, turning on her heel out the door.

Turning back to face my complexion.I pondered whether I had met a comrade or competitor. The air between us wasn't glacial but not warm either. I disfavoured the idea of hatred. Simply dreaded it! I only desired to love and be loved in return.

With a pat of powder, a brush of mascara, a flick of eyeliner and twirl of my golden blonde hair, I was Baby Doll perfectly put together. My costume tonight was one that would surely make heads turn. It was a glitzy red number, evoking and provoking a hot fire. A real Jessica Rabbit number. And symbolic of myself. I was a passionate individual. A fire flickered inside of me. And sometimes, it flamed and othertimes it burned out. But no matter how dangerous the fire was I always longed for it, to feel it.

I was finally getting a taste of stardom. Perhaps even following the way of grace of Marilyn with the way of nature of Jayne Mansfield.

This was a complex combination.

Nonetheless, I shrugged off my insecurities and timidities, strutting off and to the grand stage where lay the vision I yearned to see of myself.

Behind the red velvet curtains, I closed my eyes. The flurry of dancers moving in and out and the call of directors and crew members, distracted my unease. I shook restlessly, wanting only to get on stage. Tony had dropped by earlier and offered some encouraging words. He told me he would be watching the whole thing, and that there was nothing to fear. This only convinced me that I was not in the business to disappoint.

Once, the music pulled in, and the curtain gracefully lifted off the ground; the unease vanished. The faces crowd began to appear.

And the spotlight hit me. My head was tilted back, I pulled on a coquette grin and bloomed on stage. The sensual tempo of the music did not mirror the whistle and cat calls of the crowd. I was flattered by the urgent cheer and praise. My voice filled the theatre as I sang my very own rendition of Amado Mio. Swaying, I graced down the side stairs, and straight into the audience. Schmoozing the crowd, I softly sang and I dipped down to one gentleman and lingered a finger from his shoulder to his collar. He seemed enticed. Enjoying my charade, I moved on to another gentleman, I held out my hand, and began to dance at his table, before making my way back to the stage.