♚ | SEX, YEAH! | ♚ (Chronicles of the Notorious BabyDoll)

♚ | BUXOM BLONDE | ♚

"Blonde symbolizes sexuality and power - it holds very different connotations. The archetypal star has always been blonde."

- Marina Diamandis

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One questions was asked that night; are you mine? Only leading to a singular road. But I had answered none. Instead, a feverish kiss was given.

And that spectacular, sizzlingly hot night had begun between the sheets. We were perfect. It was intoxicating. To take and to give. Sex was marvelous in its ways of nature. It was a language that I spoke fluently. I adored learning and teaching. This was a I spoke language I spoke beautiully.

I boldly woke that morning meeting the ache at the center of my thighs. He slept beside me, and couldnt have looked any more peaceful. I turned over and kissed him before rising bare. We met me in the kitchen, his face ashen. And he was not so cool as he kissed me on my cheek. It was hard to speak, after last night, words seemed insignificant. He could talk to my body any time if he wanted to. We had a silent breakfast only led by striking stares and sexy smiles.

"It was perfect." I broke the spell.

He grinned so wide it contracted his face muscles uncomfortably.

"It was." He laughed slightly.

Before he bolted out the door, we stood together. His hand playing with mine. Our foreheads pressed.

"You're my Baby now," He said, as if trying to convince himself too.

I giggled,"So far, I like it very much."

He laughed and kissed me again, before leaving.

Although, I longed for him to stay, it was simply inappropriate. I was pulled into this love. And I needed to be careful. I could not let myself be a chinadoll; fragile, delicate and vulnerable. I musn't be like that. I could not bear to become like tge others because I knew I would love too much and be unloved, and only the unloved hate. But, I was a Baby Doll, bold, beautiful and vain. And that is how it is meant to be.

As I cleaned the clutter of my flat, and tidied up the mess of my bedroom, Ash stayed in my mind. Visions of his face had danced with me all day. My stomach churned and my heart twisted terribly. And it would be terribly untrue to say that he hadn't crossed my mind. In fact, he lived in it.

An impatient shrill sounded.

"Darling, how are you? How was the celebration?"

It was lovely to hear Mama's voice. The gentleness was something I needed dearly.

"Oh, mama! It was lovely, truly lovely!"

"I'm pleased to hear that, Doll, now, if it isn't much of a hassle, I wondered if I could come to your performance tonight."

"Happily, mother! It would bring me great happiness!"

"Fabulous, now I'll see you soon, darling,"

"Goodbye then!"

Of all the surprises - I was delighted to hear my mother's interest in my profession. And from my wild excitment, the doorbell took its turn.

But upon opening it, I found a dejected Nathan.

"Nathan - what's the matter?" I urged, bringing him inside. We sat in the living room, on the large sofa.

"Tell me, Nathan." I leaned in closer.

"There's choices, all these choices;" He croaked out, his voice terribly raspy and thick, "choose a girl, choose a job, choose a car, choose a house, choose a life," His frustration was not to miss. "And I can't seem to make any. I haven't even fuckin' crossed one off." Nathan blared, gripping the ends of his hair.

I embraced him. I was moved by his monologue. I didn't quite catch the context but found a sense of vulnerability. Something I had known far too well.

"Nathan, there is nothing to fear," I began, squezzing his arm.

"What ever it may be, it passes, these sad times do not stay."

He shook his head frustrated,"You don't know that for sure, Baby Doll."

"But it doesn't hurt to hope, does it?"

"I'm sorry." He huffed, distastefully, "I came all this way, uninvited, and just fuckin' invited you into my problems," He stood up, shaking.

"Your troubles don't make you weak, Nathan. We mustn't brace them but we must move from them."

His look changed, his eyes came alive.

"Ash told me that when he met you he saw you as an angel, I didnt quite believe it after first seeing you, but he's right, was he ever right." Nathan shook his head, a hint of a smile.

My complexion had given my answer.

Nathan picked himself up, "I need to make something of myself, Doll, I'm sick of being scum - I hate it. You see, Ash has got plans, " He pointed knowingly. "After the autoshop job, he wants to be a mechanic or even a boxer. His grand dad was a champ, really ace at it. It makes sense, really."

Nathan snaked a hand through his hair and then smiled.

"You're a betty, Doll, no wonder Ash fancies you, hell, no wonder all guys crawl, call and cry for you,"

I began to laugh. And between my fit, Nathan squeezed my shoulders.

"Cmon, Doll, showtime's soon, so I say you get primped and then we'll say sayonara." His tone took to cheer. Nothing could have calmed me more.

"Let's do it, Nathan!" I cheered with him.

Tonight would be an middle eastern-inspired dance. I was marveled by this idea of the arabesque. My costume was one meant for la danse du ventre. After an admiration, I hurriedly slipped it over my undergarments. I prayed my performance would pull me out of this Ash frenzy. The sex was mindblowing. But, I adored him. So much. Too much. And love certainly wasn't on my list.

I went to find Nathan, only to find him fancing himself to a drink.

"Holy hell, is that ever a hot number!"

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