S.1

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"Mind telling me what happened?" I ask feeling a lump in my throat.

"Sex babe, That's what happened." He said with a smirk.

I couldn't believe it. I wanted my first time to be with someone I love, not when I was high and drunk. I want to cry but if I did I knew he would think I'm a loser.

"I'm going to go." I say quickly while I grab my things.

"Bye babe." He says as I walk out.

I was in a dress so most of the frat boys were looking at me. A couple tried to touch me but if they would have I would have probably gone in crazy mode. I don't feel as pure as I used to be. I get my phone and text Michael.

Me - Come and get my from the frat house? I had a crazy night.

Michael - ya I'll be there in five.

Me - I owe you.

Michael - You also owe me for not telling Calum.

I read the text and sighed. I don't wanna tell him. I know he loves me and I may like him. I just don't wanna hurt him. If I do I know he'll hate me.

I hear a honk and see Michaels' black truck. I walk to it opening the back door because Ashley was in the front. They were blasting green day and I smiled that them.

"Tell me what you did!" Ashley begs.

Here we go...

"I got high plus drunk because someone invited Calum to and I just didn't want to seem lame so I got high this guy named Andrew was supposed to take me to the bathroom and instead he took me to his room and and and... We had sex I just wanna-"

"Stop talking so fast it's fine. We all make mistakes." Michael shrugs it off.

"No you don't understand! Calum loves me and I don't wanna hurt him!" I whine. I sound like a brat but I don't care.

"Calum will understand." Ashley says with a sad smile.

"Just be easy on him he really loves you." Michael says giving me the same smile as we reach my dorm.

"Bye thanks you guys." I smile and they wave.

I walk up to my dorm and open the door and see Luke and Jasmin on the couch with Calum.

Frick me!

"I'm just going to clean up." I mumble and they nod.

I got in my room and pick out some black joggers, white crop top and some undergarments. I go in the bathroom with my head down. When I get in I turn on the shower looking in the mirror. Im a mess.

I took off my make up getting in the shower, wanting to wash off the memories of last night. It wasn't easy I looked clean but felt dirty. When I get out of the shower and put my pjs on. When I finish I open my bathroom door to see Calum sitting on my bed."

"So I got this text from Andrew saying he wanted your number. He told me you had sex with him." He says emotionless.

"I-I never wanted to hurt you." I whisper.

"The thing is you did! I really love you Darcy! It hurts knowing you don't love me back but now your with a guy I used to get high with!?" He shouts.

"I never wanted you to be hurt Calum. It was a dumb party. If I could take it back I would. This is why I don't go to parties." I say not wanting to shot at him.

"This is not my fault! I wish you would have told me rather then me finding out this morning! I bet you weren't even going to tell me!" He steps closer to me.

"I was going to when the time was right." I mumble. I mean I was going to tell him in a couple of days but I didn't want to tell him now where feelings were still being solved.

"Lies. I'm leaving. I always fall for the girls who hurt me." He whispers the last sentences. He walks out slamming the door. I don't chase after him I just sit down and cry.

I hear a knock at the door so I wipe my tears opening it to see Luke. He steps in and Jasmin gives him a thumbs up. He smiles nervously walking in and sitting on my desk chair.

"So Jasmin sent me in because she says I'm good at real talk," He says looking at his hands, "Calum is hurt right now. He'll do anything to make sure he's right when he is mad."

"I was high and drunk. I didn't know what I was doing so I was basically raped. If I was not high I would have pushed him off." I say.

"Yeah I know. I'm sorry it's just Calum loves you and always talks about how he doesn't remember the times where he was sad when he is with you."

"Tell me why he is so angry with me if he knows that I would never hurt him."

"He just doesn't want to be hurt like it was back in Australia," Luke takes in a deep breath, "he liked this girl Emma for a long time and she hurt him by cheating on him and telling him she never really liked him. He was done chasing after girls for a while. He got high with the Andrew and Jason, Always wanted to out. This was around when writing didn't matter. Then last summer he got his act right and fell back in love with writing."

"Calum never told me he used to do that." I rub the sweat off my hands.

I mean he told me his parents never really loved him but that's it. I didn't know he would do drugs all the time. I wish I would have known maybe I would have said no to the party plan.

"He doesn't talk about it because he doesn't wanna be judged especially by you."

"Me? I would never." I defend. He should know me better.

"He just wants you to like him. For real though not like Emma." Luke says getting up and leaving.

I hate this Emma chick.

I get my phone and I go on tumblr, posting a poem. Like I always do then get a text from three people.

Ashton - Calum took all my beer and said that he wants to stop loving you.

Unknown - It's Andrew. Calum just came to my room at the frat and started smashing things

Michael - Ashton told me Calum took all his beer. I went over and Calum left. We can't find him.

"Luke! Jasmin!" I shout they run in my room with a questioning look.

"What?" The both ask.

"Calum. He's gone."

(A/N)
Thanks for 400 + reads. Means a lot to this lil bean. I got writers block but I'm back! Vote if you wanna and yea...

I'll update like at least once a week.

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