Here We Go Again (sequel)

Chapter 7

"W-What are you doing here?"

"Stunned by my presence, aren't we?" I shoot a question right back at him. Looking at him in amusement, I realized how good-looking he was again by standing in half darkness, half alightned by the streetlamps. It's a shame that he isn't mine anymore. But to say it right - he surely wasn't mine before...

"When has your ego grown so big, Aimeé? When did you become a bitch?" Well, this was way too much. He honestly asks this question? Well, if it's so...

"Hmmm, let me think... Oh yeah I know! I've changed after the boy I fell in love with so fast let me down and left out of sudden. Oh yeah, and should I talk about the fact, that he didn't has the balls to say goodbye to me? No, he just left a letter.
It really felt nice, being disappointed so much by the person, you thought you could spend your life with." Outburst, yeah.

I could see the hurt on his face. Well, he deserved it. I bet he hadn't even thought about how much his actions hurt me. He didn't think twice before leaving me.
I bet he thought, that I'll get over it. Well, you're wrong mister. So now take the punishment.

"See, Aimeé I'm sorry I-"

"No mister, I am sorry! For spending so much time with you! For waisting my time thinking about you. I'm sorry I've cried so many nights and wished that everything would go another way. You didn't expect that, don't you? No one does, you know? I'm really sorry for all of this! But to my mind, falling in love with you wasn't the mistake. Thinking you had fallen for me too, that was the mistake. But I see, I've been exchanged by a model. And I see why. She's skinnier, prettier and more famous than me."
I ended my little speech with dramatically poking Luke's chest. It felt good to let all of this out at him. I could feel my blood rise up when he grabbed my ankle and hold me close against his body. The butterflies, no I mean warplanes, came to life again and started to fly against my stomach again. I felt like throwing up. But in a good way. If you know what I mean.

"Can you please let me talk out? Only for once?" Luke asked, looking me straight into the eyes. I gulped. I really, really, really wanted to kiss him right now. Not aware of my words I just nodded.

"So ok, I'm sorry for leaving you just like that. But it wasn't easy for me. And I couldn't bring it over myself to break your heart by saying you goodbye. I was thinking about you all the time. I've been thinking all day about you. I've been also thinking about you a few minutes ago. You know Aimeé, you meant the most to me and you still mean the world to me. Being with Miranda is all just a big fake from Management. She knows I'd rather be with you than with her. Because, Aimeé, you're the most beautiful and perfect human-being I've ever seen. And so to say - I love you."

Woah, that hit me. He - he loves me? After all? Even though he saw my bad side?
"You don't love the me I am now. You love the old Aimeé, Luke. But the old Aimeé isn't there anymore. I've built walls around her. She's drowning in a deep water well, no way to escape and ever come back to land." I answered him. I wanted to convince him. But honestly, I wanted to convince myself of my new me. Because after all he said I felt the old Aimeé coming back to the surface. And that's not what I want - I spent so much time on builing a guard up, I can't let it all tremble down in less than a minute.

"I know I've hurt you. And I know that you're mad at me and probably always will be. But listen up, A. I love you and I fight for what I love. So there's no way I'm going to leave your life so easily."

"Just another lie."

"Nope, a truly meant promise, Miss Baker."

And with that, he lent down and kissed me. Out of sudden.

And the most confusing thing was, that I kissed him back, after all he's put me through.

*30 minutes later*

After we broke the kiss, Luke stared deeply into my eyes. And all I did was running. I ran away from him. I ran away from me. I ran away from us. I ran as fast as I could. After a while I was out of breath and collapsed to the ground. I ran away from a boy, who just told me he loved me, who just kissed me. I ran away from the love of my life. Stupid to say that, I know, because I'm young. But I mean it.

Reaching my hotel room I found it empty. There was a little note, saying that Joe and the others had gone to a party in town. So I was alone, no one was there to look after me. And that was everything I needed to know.

Running up to my luggage I tripped over several clothes, Joe's of course. Our room looked like more than a mess. I grabbed my pajamas and went into the bathroom. Turning on the shower I reached for my pocket and pulled it out - my old blade. I stepped into the shower and *slash* - a new cut was on my wrist. There was now nearly a bracelet of cuts around my wrist.

"That one's for being ugly"

*slash* A new cut on my hips.

"That one's for being fat"

*slash* *slash* *slash* *slash* A few more on my stomach.

"These one's are for being stupid and leaving. And for not keeping your guard up."

With that I broke down in the shower, crying. It was 9pm, so Joe would be back in more than 3 hours. Enough time for me to clean up.

I just needed all of this right now. I don't know how long I can play the game of keeping a guard up and pretending to be someone I'm not.

_________________________________________________

Dedicated to HannahGodin because of the cute comment on the story x

Love you guys xx