On The Line (Ashton Irwin)

Chapter 8- Now

Chapter 8- Now

-Ashton's POV-

"Do you want me to wait out here?" Luke asked as I stood outside Maddy's hospital room.

I shook my head. "No, you can come in if you want."

Luke nodded, his hand on my shoulder as I entered the room. The hospital visiting hours had just begun, not even her parents were here yet. But there she was, laying there in her gown, as beautiful as ever.

"Hey babygirl," I said, sitting in the chair next to her bed and Luke took the chair sitting up against the wall. "I told you I'd come back today. I'm here Mad, can you hear me?"

No response. It's not like I had expected one anyways. She couldn't hear me, couldn't respond to me.

A knock sounded at the door, and then a man in a white doctor's robe peeked his head in, his eyes immediately meeting mine.

"Ashton Irwin?" the man asked, reading off of his clipboard.

"That's me," I told him, standing up as he walked over and shook my hand.

"I'm Doctor Mitchell." he said. "I'm the doctor who's been assigned to Madison here. You're the boyfriend, right?"

"Yes," I confirmed. "That's me."

"And are you her brother?" the doctor asked Luke.

"No sir, just a good friend is all." Luke answered.

"Well, Ashton, may I speak to you in the other room for a moment?" Dr. Mitchell asked, and I nodded, following him out of the room and down a small hallway towards different offices.

"May I ask what this is about?" I asked the doctor, looking around nervously as we entered a room and he took a seat at a desk, me sitting at one of the chairs opposite facing the desk.

"Well, I was reading through some files, and I came across one that needed two signatures, one from each parent, and I seemed to notice that your signature was missing." he said, rifling through a pile of papers on his desk.

"I'm sorry, what now?" I asked in confusion.

"The papers regarding your child," he said, and I raised an eyebrow in confusion. "You have no idea what I'm talking about, do you?"

"No," I said, shaking my head. "I really don't."

"Ashton, did Madison ever tell you that she was pregnant?" Dr. Mitchell said, and a hollow feeling came in the pit of my stomach, as I began to feel like everything was spinning.

"N-no, she, she didn't." I stammered.

"She first began coming here in April." Dr. Mitchell began, and I covered my face with my hands, tears threatening to spill out over my eyelids. April was right when I had left for the tour, the last time I had seen Madison. "And she came here until just a few weeks ago when..." he trailed off.

"When what?" I asked.

"When she had received the news that she lost the baby. She began feeling like something was wrong, so she came here with a woman, your mother Anne Marie I believe, and they had told her that we couldn't find the heartbeat."

I was a father. But not anymore, because the baby had died in the womb, before I could meet it, or even know that it existed. Why hadn't Madison told me?

"Do, uh, do you know what gender the baby was?" I asked.

"A boy," he replied. I had a son. "But anyways, upon the miscarriage, we needed both parents to sign this form, but the father's signature was never present. Would you mind signing this?"

"Of course," I said, quickly scribbling my signature down on the paper. "Would you excuse me for a moment?"

Dr. Mitchell nodded, and I ran out of the room, and into the nearest boys' restroom, pulling out my phone and dialing my mum's number, her picking up on the second ring.

"Ashton, whatcha need?" she asked.

"Mum, how long did you know I had a son?" I asked, tears spilling down my cheeks.

"Ashton, honey. Madison wanted to tell you, she really did. But she didn't want to tell you over the phone, and you were set to come back a couple months before she was due, so she wanted to wait to tell you. But she had lost it a few weeks ago. She never wanted to talk about it, said she'd talk about it with you when you came home. But she never got the chance to."

"Alright," I squeaked out, unsure how to respond.

"Would you like to go see him?" she asked. "The baby."

"Where?" I asked.

"The little cemetery down the street." Mum said.

"Of course," I said. "Could you come pick me up?"

"You're at the hospital?" she asked.

"Yeah," I said.

"I'll be there soon," she promised.

"And bring my guitar," I said, hanging up the phone and shooting a quick text to Luke.

Me: Need to do something, will be back soon.

Shoving the phone in my pocket, I stepped into the elevator, waiting silently as it went down, the tears never stopping. I cried even after my mother arrived and had gotten out of the car, giving me a hug. I hugged her back, feeling too weak to do anything else.

"Here we are." she said, finally stopping the car when we arrived at the cemetery. "It's the small little headstone over there."

I nodded, grabbing the guitar and leaving the car, walking towards the gravesite. I know what you're thinking, Ashton you're a drummer, but I had learned guitar too, in case I ever needed to use one.

Reaching the gravestone, I read the little name inscribed on the front. Austin Fletcher Irwin, 2013-2013. Austin Fletcher. Fletcher, the same middle name as mine. My son, lying in the ground, forever unborn. That broke my heart more than anything.

"Hi baby," I said, sitting down with the guitar in my lap. "I never knew about you until now. I, um, I'm Ashton, your daddy." I told Austin. "I've never met you, but I want you to know that I love you so much, more than anything in the world. And I wish I could've gotten the opportunity to know you, the opportunity to play catch with you, help coach your sports teams, give you advice on girls... everything. Teach you how to play drums so you could be just like me, getting all the ladies. Drumming is how I met your mum anyway. So don't knock it 'till you try it, it works."

Strumming a couple strings on the guitar, I looked back up at the grave, the two parents' names on the bottom. Ashton Fletcher Irwin, 1994-, and Madison Taylor Holmes, 1993-.

"I brought a song to play for you, if you don't mind, son." I told him finally, strumming the notes as I began to play the song. "You're just a small bump onboard, in four months you're brought to life. Might be left with my hair, but you'll have your mother's eyes. I'll hold your body in my hands, be as gentle as I can, but for now you're a scan of my unmade plans, a small bump, in four months you're brought to life..."