Rantipole //Joshler

XX

okay I'm sorry I haven't updated/been active whatsoever. school has begun and I'm busy with friends, work, school work, volleyball, drama club, and history club. ITS SO HECTIC I DIDNT EVEN READ OVER THIS SO SORRY FOR ERRORS IN ADVANCE PCE ILY
Tyler's POV

The tears never stopped falling from my eyes as I walked. I also had no idea where I was walking. I had been walking for about forty minutes with no clue of where I was. My head pounded, my stomach growled, and my feet began to ache from the poor arch support in these shoes.

The block with frat houses came to view and I was relieved. I finally knew where I was. I wiped my tears away and walked up to Mark's door. Not knowing if anyone was sleeping I opened the door. Inside one of the two women from the truth or dare game was asleep on the floor next to Patrick. I rolled my eyes and made my way upstairs. I heard someone puking in the bathroom as I walked past to Patrick's room.

I walked inside his room to see Brendon and the other girl from last night. Ugh how do they afford to miss all of their classes? I went into Marks room and instantly felt bad. Last time we talked he was mad with me for 'ruining my life'. I don't necessarily think all this partying or whatever is going to affect my future like I used to think it would but I still liked Mark as a friend. He was the first person to really get to know me here besides Brendon.

His bed was neatly made and the rest of his small room was clean. I sighed before taking off my shoes and the laid down.

~~

I had slept a good three hours until I woke up. My eyes remained swollen and I was still hungry. I went to climb out of bed and once I did I saw Mark. I widened my eyes in surprise and he looked over at me from his desk.

"How was the party?" Mark rolled his eyes and I sighed.

"Mark if it means that much to you, I'll stop going out to these things okay."

"I don't care." Mark shrugged his shoulders.

"You obviously care since you haven't talked to me." I tied my shoes back on before stretching.

"It's just I'm worried about you."

"I can handle myself thanks."

"Really Tyler, can you? You were so quick to do all this shit with Brendon so it wouldn't surprise me if you end up a heroin addict soon."

"You really think I'm that naive?"

"I know you're naive, do you by chance know where Mr.Dun was this morning?" I scowled and Mark cocked an eyebrow.

"That's what I though."

I huffed and stormed out of his room. From the bathroom I heard the toilet flush and Pete walked out. He wiped his mouth as I didn't acknowledge him. I made my way downstairs and out of the small apartment. I walked back to my dorm tiredly.

~~

I've survived three days without Josh, I didn't even glance at him once during the class lectures. His voice made a large void form in my chest. I didn't think I could survive a single hour without him let alone three days. It was Saturday; three days after I told him I loved him. I can't help but think of him as I finish up his class's assignments. I didn't even manage to finish the second semester until I grew tired. Yesterday I saw him come into the art store when I was working. I ran into the storage room and hid there for fifteen minutes until my coworker came in.

I sighed. I needed to stop thinking of him. I try to keep my mind focused on the assignment in front of me but it remained on  Josh. I let out an exasperated sigh before putting everything away; I didn't want to start crying again. I changed into my pajamas and went into bed.

The room was empty and quiet, like usual. I pulled the blanket up and looked at the ceiling. All I feel is pain and numbness along with an immense feeling of guilt. Maybe I should have gone to the party Brendon invited me to. I wanted to let go and maybe even find someone else. No. There was no one else.

~~

I had saved enough money to buy a car with all the money my mom had given me along with my earnings from the art store. I went to the car dealership as soon as I woke up and I ended up purchasing a normal silver car. A car that couldn't compare to Josh's. Of course he came back to my mind.

I was currently driving to the hospital in my new car. My mind stayed blank the whole hour drive. I know I was the one who left him and that he tried to stop me. But what would my point be in staying in his house? I keep forgetting about her, she's the reason why I'm feeling guilty. I can't blame her for it but I keep betraying her and it's adding on to the sadness of Josh.

I shook the thoughts of him away as I entered the elevator of the hospital. I went in the intensive care unit and into room 216 with a simple nod to the receptionist who recognized me from past visits.

"Hey dad." I spoke to my father's motionless body as tears prickled in my eyes.