Modest Temptations - Book 2 (Larry Stylinson AU)

Chapter 3 - And this is how it starts

And this is how it starts

The room was silent, the reflective walls surrounded him like a prison but nothing could be worse then the worry and guilt that resided in his soul, like a poison eating away at him as each moment passed idly by.

Liam looked down at his hands, they were bloody and still cuffed as they rested on the stainless steel table. He laughed, dryly at the bolts holding the table securely to the floor. What did they think he was, Batman? He shook his head as he stared at the metal cuffs that encircled his wrists, bruises were forming from the constant rubbing against his skin and all the thrashing of his hands, he was the polar opposite of calm and collected.

The usual 'father' of the group had flown off the handle, he was consumed by pain and rage, guilt and sadness and it coursed through him tirelessly as his mind raced and his heart slammed into his chest. His eyes were heavy, tired from lack of sleep and burning from the onslaught of tears that fell like a broken dam down his face.

This wasn't who he was or wanted to be but everything had changed the moment he held the cold gun in his hand, it was sleek against his fingers and heavy. Weighed down more by the power it held then its actual mass, the adrenalin that coursed through him as he held it to Blake's head was addictive and frightening.

He rested his head against his hands trying not to recollect in excruciating detail the events from only hours ago. Yet, no matter what he did all he could see was her face, the look of shock as she stammered back and blood pooled at her stomach. Tears burned his eyes and he squeezed the shut, the darkness was bittersweet and he relished it.

Thoughts of Jennifer filtered through his unguarded mind as he beckoned sleep to envelop him, a cacophony of sound swirled around the room echoing beneath the door from the corridor but Liam lay still. His knee shook as he waited, waited for the inevitable questions and accusations. Niall was shouting and he sighed, wishing sleep would come so he could escape.

No matter how hard he tried to banish thoughts of Jennifer she never left his mind, her face lingered behind lidded eyes and he tried to stifle the sobs that escaped his quivering lips. Liam felt broken, he felt alone but most of all he couldn't eradicate the crushing weight of what he'd done from his mind. He had shot her, his Jennifer was lying somewhere, alone, maybe even dead and it was all his fault. The realisation slapped him alert and he gasped for breath as he began to feel the compression of his chest, the last time he had a panic attack was after their first live performance the nerves and anxiety built up to a point where he'd lost control.

Zayn was there for him, walking him through it all but now he was alone and his chest was getting tighter and tighter.

He tried to breathe.

Jennifer.

He closed his eyes, his hands clasped against his chest.

Jennifer's blood.

Tears plummeted down his bruised cheeks.

Jennifer's body.

Gasping he tried to call for help but no sound would come.

She was hurt because of him.

Liam squeezed his eyes shut, surrounded by darkness he took large gulps of air.

He fired the gun.

The thoughts of Jennifer wouldn't leave, an officer came in and called for help.

She was so cold.

He was looking up at the bright lights in the ceiling now, a blurred figure hovering over him

The look in her eyes.

People were talking but it was muffled sound, he was gasping for breath and his head was pounding with a pressure that wouldn't seem to release.

Was she dead?

He closed his eyes now, his chest weighed him down and he struggled to get oxygen into his lungs. People were shouting as tears rolled from his closed eyes. He tried to say her name but he couldn't muster the strength to speak, to breathe.

Why didn't he shoot Blake?

Someone was shaking his shoulders but he couldn't open his eyes, darkness swirled throughout his head and beckoned him to give in.

Jennifer.

Liam was struggling to get any air, his muscles locked up.

He shot her.

His body began to seize and consciousness dissipated like smoke into thin air, as he went into shock.

He.

Darkness surrounded him now and the pain began to subside.

Shot.

Her face encircled his mind like a mirage and he wanted to reach out to her.

Her.

And then everything went blank.