Modest Temptations - Book 2 (Larry Stylinson AU)

Chapter 36 - When the lights fade out, all the sinners crawl

When the lights fade out, all the sinners crawl

There were people everywhere, the funny things was he knew them all but he felt like he was made of glass. Like every person that spilled into the room was an insubstantial stranger, filling his mind with irrelevant statements like; ‘it’ll be okay,’ ‘they’ll find him,’ ‘he won’t get away with this,’ ‘take deep breaths,’ ‘hold on.’ But that’s all they were, words. Letters strung together like clothes hanging idly on a washing line. They were letters of an alphabet that no longer held any meaning or connotation. He understood all of it, yet none of it at all. Words constructed into universal sentences of hope and support. What was hope when he was gone? Comprehension was beyond him, sense and time meant nothing. Breathing turned from necessity into a chore, thinking became painful and slow. Time disappeared, slipping away into the irrelevance of the here and now. Was anything sacred? Was anyone safe? He was unsure as the scurry of feet scratched like grating nails on a chalkboard. Liam spoke to him, arms wrapped tightly around his shoulders as he whispered in soft tones. His words, however, filtered into the air around him like leaves falling from a dying tree. Cognition, understanding was beyond him at this point as the dull ache in his chest became roaring pain. Thoughts were out of reach, words were formed on the tip of his tongue but fell away, unspoken. 

Harry shifted in the sticky plastic chair, sweat pouring off his body and soaking his clothes. He wrung his shaking fingers around the edges of his shirt. The tie he wore disappeared after the chaos that ensued outside the church. His face blotchy and red, eyes stained with the never ending stream of tears that fell from his eyes like heavy rain. His breathing was heavy and ragged, several panic attacks later and the entire room was watching him. They sat in a large conference room at the hotel, the Police station proving too small to hold the security, managers, boys and police officers that swarmed the room like an army of bee’s. Harry had proven useless since he was torn away from the pavement kicking and screaming in the arms of burly security guards. He screamed Louis name over and over, fighting to get to the van before it sped off in a cloud of dust and black smoke. The burnt rubber, the tyre tracks left on the road would be a permanent reminder of Louis’ abduction… just like the gaping hole in Harry’s chest. He would never erase the images of Louis’ horrified expression when Blake grabbed him. 

Looking back at it now, Liam was right. What could they have done? How would they have known Dakota’s sister was just was wicked, if not worse then her dead sister. Liam was right, Harry shouldn’t blame himself for Louis being taken but he did. Dakota’s death was his fault, Louis being taken was his fault. After all, they had been warned, photo’s and Louis’ beautiful face torn from images should have been the alarm bells. All the signs were there as they looked back in horror, how could he have been so blind? How could they have all been so blind.

There was now three guards to each boy, plus the stream of officers that ranged from hostage negotiators to criminal psychologists. Harry recognised none of them, he was sure if he looked in the mirror he would hardly recognise himself. He felt to be the shell of the person he once was, three years ago Harry was a carefree singer who’d just signed the deal of a life time. He sung and danced without a care in the world, those days were gone. Now he was haunted by fame, money and worst of all… regret.

Regret to not have come out with Louis sooner. 

Regret over their lack of nuptials, legalising their relationship. 

Regret over Dakota’s suicide.

Regret over the decisions he’d hastily made that led them to this moment. 

Regret that he didn’t tell Louis he loved him enough.

Regret that he hadn’t seen this coming.