Modest Temptations - Book 2 (Larry Stylinson AU)

Chapter 19 - I don't understand it

I don’t understand it 

Zayn walked onto the balcony and Louis was sitting with his legs up in the chair and staring out at the busy city, studying the horizon patterned with dark clouds. He looked up at Zayn as he entered and sighed, “Harry here?”

Zayn smiled faintly, “No, I left them in the restaurant.”

Louis nodded.

Zayn felt so overloaded with burden he could hardly hold himself up, he took the other seat and lit up a cigarette, Louis snatched one and lit it in silence. He closed his eyes as he inhaled the smoke and Zayn studied the stress and worry that lined his smooth face. No one should be put through so much at this age, he thought sadly. His eyes scanned the horizon, dark clouds like puffs of smoke spattered across the sky hiding the blue sky. Zayn tried to relax in the chair but he could feel every piece of metal in the backing as if it were stabbing him, he sighed as he shuffled in his seat. The silence between them was heavy, his eyes darted from Louis to the city unsure of what to say. 

Liam began calling his phone but he turned it off, as he finished his cigarette he noted Louis swiping tears from his eyes. “You okay?” He asked, it was a stupid question of course he wasn’t okay. 

Louis flicked the cigarette off the balcony and watched it disappear, falling weightlessly to the ground. He turned to look at Zayn and shrugged, “I don’t know what to do.”

“Did you talk to Harry?”

“And say what?” Louis snapped. 

Zayn nodded. 

“Fuck,” Louis ruffled his hair, “I shouldn’t, I mean… it’s not your fault.”

“Don’t worry,” Zayn replied. 

“I’m sorry you’ve been dragged into it. I’m sorry I made you lie, I just…” He trailed off and shook his head as he searched desperately for the right words. “It’ll break Harry’s heart.”

Zayn nodded, sadly. “I know.”

“He’s been through so much, we all have and now this!” Louis raised his voice. 

“You need to tell him,” Zayn said, “You know what it’s like with management, it’ll kill him more if he finds out from someone else.” Zayn thought of Harry, the look on his face as he stood riddled with concern questioning Zayn. 

“We’re only just finding our feet again,” Louis sighed. 

Zayn scooted his chair closer and wrapped and arm around Louis, “I know.” Zayn stared ahead, “she might not be as bad as Dakota,” he said. 

Louis looked up at him and scoffed, “I don’t think anyone could be as bad as Dakota.”

Zayn smiled, “Ava could be fine, she could be normal.”

“It’s not that,” Louis said.

Zayn watched him, “What is it?” he asked. 

Louis stood up, shoving the chair behind him as it scraped along the floor. He leant against the railing, his hands gripping the glass as he stared down at the street below and waved absently at some fans squealing below. “Harry is worrying about me, that I’m going to fall apart and-“

Zayn cut him off, “are you?”

“Am I what?”

“Going to fall apart?” He asked in all honesty because the thought had crossed his mind too, he couldn’t help but watch Louis with a sense of wary and caution.