Modest Temptations - Book 2 (Larry Stylinson AU)

Chapter 40 - It hurts me to love you this much

It hurts me to love you this much

Louis was groggy, his head ached and his body swirled with waves of relentless gut wrenching nausea. He wanted to die, to sleep away the pain but they kept him awake. If this wasn't torture, he didn't know what was. But Louis held his own, not letting Blake see just how much pain he was in. It wasn't physical pain as such, more psychological. He felt like he had vertigo and gastro all at once. His body was covered in a sheen of sweat that dripped down his face. His hair stuck to his face as if he had walked out of a shower, it itched him and he wanted so badly to rub his eyes but his hands were bound so tightly. Everything ached, he looked up at Daisy, a pained expression on her face and she immediately looked away. He could see her composure slipping, the way she looked at him with a guilty expression. Her eyes were so much like Dakota's it scared him but where he saw malice in Dakota, he only saw fear in Daisy, fear and compassion. It was surprising to him when she whispered an apology, explained the consequences if he didn't comply. Louis couldn't help but wonder if perhaps she reached out to him because she was empathic, maybe she regretted it all.

Looking at her he saw the light bruising across her cheek, maybe she was afraid of Blake too.

When Blake left for the toilet she stayed silent, walking to the door she opened it to see he wasn't in sight and rushed to Louis side.

His head lolled on his shoulders and she took his pale face in her ice cold hands. Her voice was soft, "look at me."

Louis blinked and she was a little blurry. His body so weak he could hardly raise his head. "Look at me," she repeated with a stern tone. Louis did, he met her wide eyes and saw the sadness that dwelled within the hazel colour, she was beautiful and deathly afraid... Much like how he felt.

"Louis," she whispered as she gently stroked the hair from his eyes. It was a gesture that took him by surprise, the tenderness of her touch made him feel a small pang of hope, he rested his tired face in the palm of her hand. "Hang in there. I'm..." She paused almost jumping in the air when she heard a clatter in the hallway. Her words quickened, "try to stay strong if you hold of long enough they'll come for you."

Louis nodded, slowly he breathed in a ragged breath. But he knew they were empty promises, how could the boys possibly come for him? They didn't even know where he was, if he was even alive.

The brief thought of the guilt and torment Harry would be going through made his throat tighten and tears well in his eyes. Daisy broke his reverie with quick words, "I texted Harry, I told him the address from your phone he'll alert the police and-"

At the mention of Harry's name, after hours of aversion therapy just the mention of harry's name rendered him gagging and his body reacted, rolls of nausea hit him like a truck. The brain was a funny thing, if they continued to inject him with apomorphine, known in hospitals as Apoxyn, Ixense, Spotane or Uprims an emetic injected directly into the skin. It is historically a morphone decomposition when mixed with concentrated acid although tried for various different reasons over the years it's most sinister use was psychiatric treatment of homosexuality in the early twentieth century. It is a potent emetic, she had explained between doses, inducing severe nausea and vomiting. The purpose in this case was to expose Louis to repeated stimuli that involved Harry, his voice in videos, photos and hearing him sing from their record. The intended result was to associate Harry, anything to do with him with the physical reaction of becoming violently sick. Blake loved that part the most, revelling in Louis lack of composure as his body trembled and he tried to fight the onset of nausea and vomiting. After hours, his body would react strongly in preparation for the vomiting. Eventually it would aniticipate the illness and cause Louis to be extremely afraid to face or look at Harry, in fear of becoming sick. He wouldn't be able to be around Harry for long periods of time, if anything without growing sick. Thus Blake's plan was brilliant, what's worse then death? It's having the one you love too frightened or sick to be with you.