the memories that hurt

memories

when my shift ended, I walked home. yes, I could drive. However this town is so small it's easier to walk everywhere.

Carlsbad California is the town I live in. I live in a house right on the beach, I grew up there. my mom, my older sister Cassie and I live there.

my parents are divorced, and my two brothers Collin and Scott live with my dad, Barrett, in California but a different town and Cassie and I don't see them often.

I was walking home thinking about something I thought I'd never be thinking about again; a future with Edwin.

I thought about all that happened before he left and sadness grew inside me. when he left, I was mad. I would scream and argue with him. but now; seeing him made me more sad than anything.

we could've been everything. we could've been together all four years of high school; we could've been all I knew we could be.

I approached my house and walked in the front door. the smell of some kind of food was inside. I walked into the kitchen and saw my mother, heather and Cassie making a bunch of food. I smiled at the mess they've made and smiled.

"what are you guys making?" I asked. Cassie is 19, a year older than me and she goes to Carlsbad university, a college right in our town so she still lives with my mom & i.

"We're making potato salad and preparing hamburgers for tonight" Cassie said and my mom was humming. "what's tonight?" I laughed as I sat at a stool up to the counter top.

"oh yeah, moms friends are back in town and are coming over to go in the ocean and for dinner," Cassie explained. "Oh cool. who's your friends?" I asked my mom.

"Ryan and Ashley" my mom said and I froze. "you remember there kids? Brent and uhh, what's the other boys name, it starts with an e, I have to say it's maybe like mhm, I don't really remember" my mom laughed.

& I knew. it was Edwin. He didn't have the best relationship with his parents, but he was close with his brother; Brent.

"was it Edwin?" I had the courage to ask. "oh yes! that's it!" My mom smiled. "oh." Is all I managed to say. "do you know him?" my mom asked and Cassie looked at me.

my mom knew we had dated; I guess she just didn't remember. but Cassie's look told me she remembered. "we go way back" I laughed. "oh well that's good, you kids can hang out, reunite" my mom said.

"yeah. we can hang out" I said and stood up. "I'm gonna go upstairs, what time are your friends coming over mama?" I asked.

"about 5, you can go in the ocean so you don't need to look fancy, just don't look like a bikini model either" my mom joked and I walked upstairs.

it was 4:05 when I looked at the clock. I watched the fosters on Netflix until 4:45 when I decided to get ready.

I put my black bikini on and threw a white tank top on over my stomach. I had put my hair in a messy bun and walked downstairs and the second I got downstairs; the doorbell rang.

my mom came to answer it, and I grabbed my grey sweater and a couple towels to sit on at the beach. I looked outside and it was cloudy.

that's one thing I love about Carlsbad; even tho it's june, the weather is in the low 70's.

"Cass, ky" my mom yelled our nick names as her friends and Edwin and his brother came into our house.

Cassie & I came around the corner. I saw Edwin smiling at me. "girls this is Ryan and Ashely, and Brent and Edwin, who you've met before but probably don't remember." My mom introduced us.

"Cassie" my sister said shaking there hands. "Witch means you must be Kylee" Ryan said and I shook his hand.

My phone started ringing and the caller ID read dad. "I'll be back" I said and Cassie and I ran back into her room.

my dad and I are still close, and we always talk on the phone. I had told him mom was having friends over and I had to go.

& with that, Cassie and I walked back into the living room laughing at our own goofiness.

Edwin was staring at me, and his brother was staring at him. it was weird to be eye to eye with the guy who hurt me more than anyone...