the memories that hurt

lost

"Kylee!" my mom yelled after a very long time of Caleb & I kissing. I jumped and rolled my eyes.

"what" I yelled back. "come down here" my mom yelled. & caleb and i walked downstairs hand in hand.

"Caleb honey, I appreciate you making sure Kylee was okay but we have guests over sweetie. maybe come back another day." my mom said smiling.

"yes m'am I was about to leave any ways." Caleb said and scratched his head. I turned around and faced him and mouthed 'sorry' he smiled and kissed my cheek. "see ya" he said and we both walked to the door.

"wait," I said before he stepped out the door. "can I have one last hug?" I said and giggled. he laughed and hugged me for awhile. "Kylee." my mom said sternly.

"I love you ky," Caleb said. "I love you too" I said quietly. I watched Caleb walk to his car and get in.

I felt weird- it felt like the last time we'd be each other's everything.

I guess I had been standing there watching him for awhile because Edwin walked over to me and put his arm on my shoulder. "you good?" he asked. "for now" I mumbled still watching Caleb.

he saw Edwin & waved. "your not okay Kylee" Edwin said. I was so close to tears and I didn't need Caleb to see me cry, so I turned into Edwin's arms and hugged him.

"you guys come here, the games almost done!" Ashley yelled from the living room. we walked into the living room and sat down on the couch.

Edwin kept staring at me. I was about to cry. "mom, I'll be back, okay." I said standing up and walking outside to the beach.

I sat down on the towels left outside and took my joggers off so I had my black bikini bottoms on with my cream colored sweater.

I stared at the water and felt rather lost. I had never really felt this before; I had always been one to be happy as could be. I remember before Edwin left he had said to me, "your a rare one. so effortlessly yourself and we all love you for that." I remember those words stuck with me for days.

"one the rare ones; yourself." I put it into different words. I didn't really know why I felt lost. I mean I was doing good, without edwin.

but I hadn't exactly thought of it the way I was thinking of it now. I had been okay without Edwin. but with Edwin; I was so much better than okay.

I was beyond happy; to me Edwin was everything. I don't know what happened and I wanted an explanation.

& right at that moment Edwin walked down the beach toward me. "you okay, my mom wanted me to check on you?" Edwin said quickly.

"I want an explanation" I caught myself saying. Edwin looked caught off guard. "an explanation for what?" he asked.

"don't play dumb! Edwin, I want a explanation on why you left!" I said sternly. "woah, woah. Kylee," Edwin said and chuckled.

"this isn't funny, Edwin!" I said angry. "Kylee that was years ago." Edwin laughed again.

"yeah, years ago. so our feelings toward each other where 'years ago'" I said mad. "yes... you think I still had feelings for you?" He said and laughed again.

My heart sank. "wh..what?" I felt embarrassed. "I have a girlfriend," he laughed again.

I rolled my eyes. Oh my gosh. I'm felt so bad &a odd & weird.