Fallen Angel

Chapter 48: Emily

Placing the white serviette over my lap, I took a deep breath and readied to broach the subject with Sarul.

"I get it." He said before I could even begin to think of what to say.

Rather shocked, my eyes darted to his. Sarul offered a pained smile and shrugged.

"You've loved the son of the devil, like his father he is bewitching, charismatic and everything that any woman would want. The devil was made to be tempting Emily, if he wasn't then he wouldn't be able to do his job. As the offspring of the devil, it is natural for Brannon to be everything you desired in a mate. That is why you've got the purity spell over you, it helps you find reason. It stops your mind from being clouded by thoughts of your love for him. Do you find there is a certain amount of uncertainty Emily?"

I nodded. Sarul offered a sympathetic smile. For all of the angels that I have encountered since returning, he was by far the most understanding. He wasn't judgemental, he didn't accuse me of turning my back on my world even if I had.

"That's because it's your true emotions showing. Your thoughts are the real ones, no longer plagued by the love that you feel for him. It happens to everyone; you are not alone in this. Humans suffer it the worst. I believe they call it the honeymoon period, where everything is wonderful and you're both so in love and life is magical. I'm not going to tell you that you can't be with him Emily, but I will give you a reality check. Heaven is never going to back off, it will always strive to keep their own protected. That means that if you do go back to him and you somehow manage to lift the purity spell, they will still come after you. There is no sitting back and ignoring it. And for the record, I can't lift the spell. Only your overseer can point you in the right direction and from what I hear, he won't be doing that in a hurry."

Inwardly I sighed one dejected sigh.

"But I love him." I said sadly.

"Are you sure about that Emily?"

The question left me stunned, unable to find an answer. I thought that I loved him but now that I had this spell in me, my thoughts on Brannon and what we had, had become muddled.

I shrugged, looking down and feeling the lowest I'd ever felt. Even lower when I was stuck in that blasted icy wasteland, even lower when I found that picture of Brannon and Chloe. It was a lie but somewhere deep inside of me, I knew that the lie that was the picture was probably a better life for Brannon. It was a sad thought, I didn't want to say goodbye to him or our love but if it meant that he would be happy, then I would do it.

An upturned hand reached across the table, I looked at it and followed the long line of the body, finding a sympathetic smile.

"I know, it's so hard. You're hurting and this is probably the last place you want to be. But for tonight, just set it aside and enjoy the meal and good company. Tomorrow when you're back at your apartment, you can pick those thoughts up again and decide what you want to do."

Pressing my lips together as I wilfully restrained the hurt, I took his hand and tried to smile.

"Thank you Sarul."

"My pleasure."

His grip was as warm as his words, caressing me and filling me with hope. The path ahead of me was filled with a lot of uncertainty but right here, with this guy, this was easy. There was no one trying to stop me, no one trying to remove me from where I wanted to be. I didn't love him but I could love him.

If this was my path ahead, I do not know but for now, I was going to enjoy the meal and get to know Sarul. At the very least, he could be a friend and at this point, I needed one. I didn't have any from the human world or my own world, I didn't have parents or siblings. Being alone in this world was a terrible fate but I could change that. I could get off my ass and actually socialise with my counterparts instead of sitting at home, feeling sorry for myself.

Sarul gently squeezed my hand, offering a smile as my gaze lifted.

"It is early days Emily but I will be honest with you. I enjoy your company and if there was anything that I could do to persuade you to let go of the past few weeks, then I would do it. Love is not so easily dispatched but maybe if you are receptive to another path, you might find it easier. Give it time, settle into this world and find a routine with your life. We can take it slow, a few dates here and there. With a little time, you might find something better than the previous. What do you think?"

I looked at Sarul, he was perfect which was sad. Kind and caring, handsome and proportioned to a desirable body shape. He wasn't so different to Brannon physically but deep within each of them was something so vastly different.

"I think." I started, my voice quivering. "I think you're right. Slow and easy, let time pass and heal the wounds. You don't have to hang around Sarul but I would appreciate your company. I don't want you to think that I'm disinterested but,"

He squeezed my hand again, smiling sweetly at me.

"It's okay Emily. Rebounding isn't the best anyway. So we will go on our dates, we will get to know each other and then when the time is right, we'll take the next step. There is no rush, we have an eternity."

We looked at each other, grinning until we burst out laughing. One little moment of happiness, I'd found it and strangely, it felt wonderful.