The Girl in The Green Scarf

F o r t y - t h r e e

C H A P T E R

43

- H a m s a -

And he leaves, his tread a thudding retreat from me. He doesn't close the door behind him though.

Maybe that's a sign of hope? Maybe he'll turn around and tell me he sees right though my act, that he knows I don't mean a word I said. Maybe I didn't muck everything up after all.

Screw you Hamsa... the words ricochet in my ears, making me wince back into reality.

I gaze after him until all I'm staring at is the dark night and the recurring rain.

This is over, for good. I made sure of that.

But I had no other choice, this was the only way to make Sebastian give up and let me go. I had to hit him where I knew it would hurt the most.

Now he hates me, and now he's safe.

I move to close the door, the floor beneath my bare feet as cold as my heart. Pushing the door shut with a dull click, I sink to the floor slowly, curl onto myself.

I know I did the right thing, then why do I feel like I just got a blow to my gut?

"Sorry it took me so long to prepare the tea. The drizzle made starting a fire nearly impossible, but I got the job done finally." Yahiya's voice breaks through the buzz of my thoughts and the clamour of the rain.

"He is gone," I say, to him and to myself.

Yahiya approaches me, holding two mugs of tea. "Then you'll have to drink his."

I am thankful for the cover of darkness, but when Yahiya slips down beside me, I am sure he can feel my body shaking. He hands me a mug and I take it; maybe holding something would stop my hands from vibrating so hard.

"Did you kick him out?"

We're both staring straight ahead, neither of us drinking from their cup.

"You were listening?" I can't even bring myself to care what he would have heard.

"No. But you look like you just kicked someone out," he says, and I feel the smile in his voice, trying to make a joke.

I divert my gaze to my mug, which has caught the vibration disease from my hands. Some of the scolding liquid spills on my fingers and I yelp.

"It's hot!" I slap the cup down on the floor, and jump up.

"Like tea is supposed to be."

My scarf falls to my feet, and I run my fingers through my hair, pulling it out of its ponytail.

Yahiya sets his cup down and stands up in front of me, holding my shoulders. "Calm down Hamsa."

"I am calm!" I snap. "I'm just sleepy."

"You're freaking out," he says, squeezing my shoulders, eyes locking on mine.

"No. This is what I look like when I'm sleepy." I look down at my toes, furiously blinking back at the wetness in my eyes.

"Breathe," he instructs. "Humour me, and take a deep breath."

I do as he says, and he slowly pulls me into a hug. I close my eyes and breathe in his familiar scent-a mixture of paper dust, mist and cinnamon.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asks, rubbing my hair.

I shake my head against his chest. "No."

"Okay. How about drinking our tea then? We can sit out on the back steps and watch the rain."

"I like the sound of that." I pull away, with a faint smile.