The Girl in The Green Scarf

T w e n t y - t h r e e

CHAPTER TWENTY THREE
HAMSA

"If you know something, you can never unknow it again."

―Anonymous.

Uncle Yusuf's ghost follows me everywhere these days and ignoring it doesn't help anymore.

It has been twenty days since I returned home and twenty one since I watched Uncle Yusuf fall to his death. I see his blank eyes in my sleep and my wake the same. I hear his voice everywhere and in everyone else's. It's become impossible to not think of him. How he betrayed me, lied to every one of us for the past God-knows-how-many years and how he failed himself and his faith. It seems unimaginable to me now, how oblivious I was to his true self.

I feel like crawling into a corner and breaking down every time his name is mentioned. And I just want to tell everyone the truth about who he was, what he was doing whenever he was away on a 'fishing trip', and that he is never coming back this time. But I do not know how to break such news. I think it would be selfish of me to destroy the image of the honorable man etched into minds. After all I feel like I owe it to that man - even if he was never real.

Being a hostage in my own house doesn't help my case one bit. Yahiya has made it his sole living purpose to make sure I never see the streets again. He won't admit it but I know he is scared of what will happen if I get the freedom to walk out the door. That I'll go back to my reckless ways and disappear again, this time for good. And I can't convince him otherwise, because then I'll have to tell him the truth, that the dangers in this nation are not just from the English and that they wouldn't just take me away if I roam around the neighborhood.

Lamees has been visiting me frequently so I won't lose my mind, but the curfew gives us very limited time together. She tells me about her day at school and what I'm missing on with all the kids. She brings a book every two days and discusses it with me when I'm done with it. She blushes every time Yahiya pokes his head into the room to see if I need anything -I know he is actually checking to see that I didn't sneak out the window. We have a lot of fun and I feel like a normal girl spending time with her best friend but no matter what, I hate all the restrictions and the rules.

"Hand me another pin," I say to Lamees, my eyes fixed on the mission at hand.

Like every afternoon for the past two week, Lamees and I are in my bedroom. Today we decided to do some experimenting with our hair. Painstakingly, I tuck the last pin in place to hold her wavy strawberry blond hair up in a milkmaid braid and then I clap my hands, slightly bouncing on the bed.

"Done," I exclaim.

A jubilant smile breaks across my face as I look down at Lamees, taking in my accomplishment. The hairdo makes her seem younger than she already is and it suits her perfectly.

"You look like a princess," I say and then roll my eyes at how cheesy this sounds.

"I always look like princess, duh!" she says, flipping the air where her hair was a few minutes ago.

"Well, you look princessier," I say and then scrunch my eyebrows at the word I just made up.

"Alright, now turn around. It's my turn to work my magic." Her eyes widen as she emphasizes the word magic, wriggling her finger and I laugh, settling into a comfortable position with my legs crossed.

Lamees shifts, propping herself up on her knees so she can be at a higher level than my head. She pulls my hair out of its messy bun and the headband lands on my lap. I shake my hair free, allowing it to fall into curls over my back and then move slightly forward, reaching for the bowl of dates and cashew nuts that Lamees somehow managed to get her hands on. She says she had to cajole and bargain, and in the end she bought them for three sacks of rice. Three sacks cost a lot, but the dates are so worth it. I don't remember the last time I had dates and it's refreshing to eat something so sweet and nutritional.