The Girl in The Green Scarf

N i n e t e e n

CHAPTER NINTEEN
HAMSA

"And when the day arrives I'll become the sky and I'll become the sea and the sea will come to kiss me for I am going home. Nothing can stop me now."
―Trent Reznor

As soon as I give dumbfounded Sebastian my back after turning down his handshake offer, a sting of guilt attacks me, making me gnaw my lower lip. The guy was trying to be decent-ish after all we've been through together and I acted like a stuck up moron.

I tell myself I was simply stating my values and standing up to them. After all, I wasn't about to shake his hand just because he happened to save me a number of times in the short period we've known each other. And if that bruised his ego or annoyed him, then be it.

I have to admit though, that for a while there, a part of me, however tiny it was, didn't mind his existence and company anymore. But that part died and got buried in the backyard of my mind when I saw how he acted in the security office at the border. It wasn't the part where he utterly humiliated the guards, they totally had it coming and it was well deserved. I actually quite enjoyed that part, no matter how awful of a person that makes me seem. What hit me back to default settings was seeing him acting all authoritative and in charge, how everyone stuttered and tripped around after knowing who he was; Sebastian Walsh, son of General Walsh― the monster responsible for all the sorrows of my people and family.

Just like that, hatred for him bloomed again inside me. It was like a wakeup call from the world: Hello, Hamsa? You slipped away from your lane; this is the bad guy, no matter how 'un-bad' he might have seemed while saving your butt numerously. Stop being such a screw up.

I let out a heavy exasperated sigh, fixing my backpack which had slipped off my shoulder. From the corner of my eye I see Sebastian and his friend, Alex, get into the fancy dark vehicle he was standing by when we came out of the border building earlier. The windows tinted black and once they're inside I can't make them out anymore. As the car drives past me, splashing some mud on my shoes and pants, I shunt away the thoughts and memories of the guy I'll probably never meet again in my life. Instead, I turn my attention to the pavement I'm walking down, the one that is leading me to my home. With this thought, I fight so hard to stop myself from skipping with exhilaration.

"Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar..." I hear the all-too-familiar sound of the prayer call from the distance. Ya Allah have I missed this sound, the harmonic tones that engulf me with a sense of tranquility.

I'm finally here, I think, kicking some gravel with the tip of my shoe.

I inhale deeply, taking in the cool crisp air and turn a corner around the main factory building. I notice a group of men coming out the backdoor, where all the loadings and deliveries happen. I've been here a couple of times to drop Yahiya something or the other. Their chatter picks up and in the crowd of unfamiliar faces, glistening with sweat and covered with dirt and grease, I recognize one of Yahiya's friends. His name plays on the edges of my mind, teasing me and I fail to put my finger on it, but I've seen him too many times to know that he and Yahiya are pretty close.

Just the thought of Yahiya and how close I am to being reunited with him gives birth to bird which start fluttering in my stomach totally out of control. I bite my lower lip to hold back the shriek of excitement building up in my throat and will myself to stay poised but I can't help but pick up my pace widening my strides.

As I get closer to where the men are standing, it occurs to me that the chances of finding Yahiya here are more likely since it's time for his regular second shift and I stop to skim the crowds for him. When I don't spot him anywhere I decide to ask this friend about him.