The Girl in The Green Scarf

F o r t y - s i x | Hamsa

C H A P T E R

46

- H a m s a -

"I'm interested in memory because it's a filter through which we see our lives, and because it's foggy and obscure, the opportunities for self-deception are there. I'm more interested in what people tell themselves happened rather than what actually happened."
—Kazuo Ishiguro.

"But dad I don't want to go to thleep before mommy getth home," I say, pouting as dad tucks me into bed.

"But pumpkin, mom has a late shift at the hospital and you have school tomorrow, so you have to sleep," dad says, planting a soft kiss on my forehead.

"Do I have to go to thchool?"

He rubs his thumb on my cheek. "Yes, so you can grow up to be a doctor like mom."

I smile at the thought of wearing mommy's white coat. But when I grow up it won't be enormous and hanging over my short arms.

"Can you wake me up when she cometh home? I want to get a goodnight thleep kith from her too."

"Sure, Misa."

He pulls up my blanket and turns off the side lamp on the bedside table.

I wrap my tiny hand around his arm when he gets off the bed.

"Can you thtay with me until I'm athleep daddy?"

Even in the dark, I can make out his kind smile. "Ofcourse pumpkin."

I shuffle in bed to make space for him and he lies next to me. I rest my head on his chest, his police uniform crinkling under my cheek and close my eyes.

"Night, daddy."

"Night, Misa."

Then he starts reciting Ayat alkursi, which will ward off my nightmares. And I smile, slowly sinking into sleep.

When I wake up, I plant my hands over my ears to shut off the loud noise coming from outside my window.

Dad is nowhere in my bed and my room is the color of blood.

I want to cry, but I remember what dad said about being brave, so instead I slip on my slippers and tiptoe to the door.

"Dad! Mom!" I call, scared of opening the door.

Instead of my parents' voices, I hear someone scream.

Whimpering I run back to my bed and hide under the covers.

"Mom! Dad!" I shout again, on the verge of tears. "I'm thcared."

Then my door slams open and dad collects me in his arms.

"Pumpkin are you okay?" he has to shout to be heard over the wails outside.

I nod slowly. Even though I am terrified, something in me forced me to blink my my tears once I saw dad's panicked eyes.

He smoothes my hair out of my face and carries me out of the room and down the stairs.

"Salma, where's Yusuf?" Dad asks mom.

Mom takes me from him, hugging me. The wetness on her face scares me even more, but I don't ask why she is crying.

"He is in the tunnel with Yahiya," she says.

A loud bang outside, a sound similar to that I heard only on tv while watching action movies with dad.

Mom and dad jump up, and mom's arms wrap even harder around me.

"We have to get moving if we're going to reach the woods safely," mom says.

But dad is busy filling his gun with bullets. Something he never did at home, or in front of me.

"Tahir! We have to move."

Now I start crying, because I've never seen my mom shout at dad.

"Yes you have to," he says, stearing us in the direction of the storage room under the stairs.

Inside there is a door in the ground, opened.

"Where are we going dad?" I ask him.

"You're going somewhere safe."

He kisses my forhead and then my mom's. Mom freezes then and I harden my grip on her shoulders.

"Tahir, what are you doing?"

Dad sighs, catching a tear before it fell from my mother's eye.

"It is a warzone out there Salma, I have to go and help whatever way I can. My fellow officers are all out there fighting."

Mom's eyes widen in horror. "No Tahir, you can't, you'll just die if you went out there."

"No, no, I'll help everyone get to safety and then I'll slip into another tunnel and meet you in the woods. I'll be perfectly safe."

Mom is silent for a moment, then she moves to the tunnel and hands me to Uncle Yusuf. I fight not to let go of her, but Uncle Yusuf's hold is strong.

"Baby," she says, placing a hand on my cheek. "you'll be safe with Uncle Yusuf okay?"

She takes my hand and places it in Yahiya's, who is shaking beside me but trying to act strong.

"Yahiya, take good care of your sister, protect her no matter what."

Yahiya simply nods and squeezes my hand.

"Why aren't you and dad coming with us?" I ask her, my tears flowing freely now.

"We will meet you in the place you're going, okay honey?"

"Salma, what are you doing?" Dad asks.

"I'm coming with you."

Dad stiffens and a scowl paints his face. "No you are not."

"You said it'll be perefectly safe."

"For a police officer."

"Well I'll be with one. And it'll be easier to get everyone out if we both work together."

Dad shakes his head furiously, but mom gives him a look that means she isn't backing down.

She kisses me and then Yahiya and nods at Uncle Yusuf. Then she takes dad's hand and he closes the door, leaving us standing in darkness.