Fuck Boy

forty-seven

*Emily's POV*
It's been a week since my doctors appointment.. I've lost basically all of my hair... my head hurts a lot.. I cough out blood, I black out like all the time, I forget stuff..

Jacob has been here for me through it all. He's tried to make things better.. it's just I know it's not the same..

I'm never on my phone.. I stopped social media.. like I have it I just don't use it..

My life hasn't been the same at all..

"Babe what are you thinking about?" Jacob asked.

"How will everyone be if I do die" I said.

"Emily.." he said.

"What? Everyone basically knows I'm gonna die" I said.

"I don't think so" he said.

"Still" I said.

"Emily you will survive this I promise" he said.

"Don't promise me.. because that's not a promise I want you to break" I said.

Jacobs phone went off. His mom texted him.

"My mom got me a plane ticket to go home.. but I don't wanna.." he said.

"Its okay I'll be here when you get back" I said.

"Okay" he said and kissed me. He grabbed all his stuff and left.

I got up and went to my desk. I got some paper and a pencil. I decided I'd write letters to everyone if I do die.

Dear Cameron,
I love you so much! Thank you for always being the best brother! I may have not been the best sister but that's okay haha you were only person who really understood me. Thank you for everything! I wish I could be there for your wedding day and to see your kids but make sure you tell them about their auntie Emily. I love you so much Cam♡♡

~Emily

Dear Nash,
You were like my brother and I'm sorry I ruined that. Please forgive me♡ thank you for an amazing journey in my life! I hope you and Taylor are happy forever and if you guys don't get married I hope you're happy with whoever you marry. I love you♡

~Emily

Dear Hayes,
Okay you fucker we have literally been through hell and back together! You were my first love and first kiss. I'm sorry for everything.. but I had Jacob .. yes that's a shitty thing to write sorry. But I hope that one day you find the right girl and that you treat her right. Not wrong.. no one deserves to be treated wrong.. I'm sorry for everything. I love you♡

~Emily

Dear Taylor,
You are one crazy son of a bitch! But I love you. Thank you for always being there when I needed you. Please forgive me for everything and since I'm dead.. I want to tell you that Cameron wasn't the one who scratched your car it was me.. sorry please forgive me♡ I love you!

~Emily

Dear Aaron,
You are the most sweetest person I have ever meet! Thank you for always understanding me. You were on of the most people who like got me and would always be there. Thank you♡ I love you♡

~Emily

Dear Jack and Jack,
I'm to lazy to write separate letters but i love you both.. I wish we could've hung out more but you guys were the best! Best of luck on tour! I love youuuuu♡

~Emily

Dear Shawn,
I wish we were a lot closer but I love when we used to sing together and I miss you♡ good luck on your buddy!!love yah!

~Emily

Dear Mahogany,
I love you so very much! Thanks your for always being an inspiration omggg I hope you and carlos have a great life together and yeah much love babes♡

~Emily

Dear Huntahhh and Brandooo
I was to lazy to write a separate letter for you guys but I love you guys so much♡ thank you for welcoming me to your family! You guys are like my brothers! I couldn't ask for better people. I love you both so very much♡ I love you my blabbermouths:)♡

~Emily xoxo

Dear Blakey,
You by far one of the most funniest person I've ever meet! Yeah we had a lot of ups and downs but hey you were the one to teach me COD even tho I suck still haha thank you for everything dude! I love you♡

~Emily :)

Dear Johnny,
Okay we weren't really close but I think you are an amazing person and you got something ahead do you love you little guy :)♡

~Emily

Dear Matt,
Thank you for always being there for me! I hope your movie 'Be Somebody' makes it to the top charts!! I love you and stay weird :)♡♡♡♡

~Emmy♡

Dear Cartah,
we weren't very close but you are by far my favorite Asian ever lmao. I really hope you find the right girl and no whore around! I love you!

~Emily♡

Dear Jacob,
You make me the most happiest person ever! We have been through some stuff.. but I'm the end I just loved you. I am terribly sorry for all of my mistakes. I am happy I finally got you to be mine but now I want you to find someone who makes you way more happier. I know you will♡ Please treat her right. I love you so much it's crazy.. you don't understand it either.. like even when you would date another girl or something I would cry all the time. And when I was around you, it's like my whole world lit up. Thank you for everything and making me to most happiest person ever! I love you Rolf Jacob Sartorius♡

love,
Emily Rae Dallas xoxo

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Hey I hope you enjoyed! I'm sorry it was kind of sad. I love you guys❤

{6.29.16}

Edited :)