The Real Me [H.S]

33.

THE PHOTO AT THE TOP (LEFT TO RIGHT) IS MIA, ANDY AND KIM. ITS KIND OF WHAT I THINK THEY WOULD ALL BE LIKE.

OK?

ALRIGHT?

GOOD.

ENJOY!!

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MIA

I woke up the next morning feeling worst than I did last night. All the memories rushed back to my head like it was happening all over again, I started to cry again. Everything was becoming to much.

"Mia? Oh honey what's wrong?" Mum asked as she came into my room, after hearing me cry.

"Its all too much for me mum" I cried into her shoulder.

Mum didn't say anything after that. She just shhhed me as she held me close to her chest. Letting me cry it all out on her shoulder.

"Mummy, is Mia ok?" We heard Teddy's voice come from my door.

We both looked up as he slowly walked into my room. Climbing onto my bed and sitting on my lap, looking up at me.

"I'm fine Teddy" I said wiping my tears away, trying not to cry.

"You don't look fine, M" Teddy said helping me wipe my tears as he used my nickname he hasn't used in a while.

"I will be fine, T" I re-worded what I said for him.

"What ever is making you sad you should get rid of it. Being happy is what your life should be, get rid of the sad and be happy." Teddy said making me and mum shocked about how smart he is for only being five.

"What if the thing that's making me sad, makes me happy as well" I asked, wanting to know what other knowledge my little brother could give me.

"Well that's hard. You just have to think about what you'd rather do, be happy in a different way and not be sad or carry on doing whatever it is and be both sad and happy."

"You're right. However what if I'm protecting the people I care about if I carry on doing this thing I'm doing?" I asked.

"Maybe you can protect them a different way, sis. I just don't want to see you sad anymore, M" He said pulling me into one of his tight hugs.

"I wont be sad anymore, T. I promise I will try for you" I whispered to him, hugging him so tight.

"Come on, Ted. I've got to take you too your friends" Mum announced as both her and Teddy climbed off my bed.

I said bye to Teddy and mum, as she was going shopping after dropping him off, and laid back in bed and started to think.

What Teddy said was right. Even if he is five, his too smart for his own good. He was right that I have two choices. One, to ether carry on being sad and happy. Or just to stop what's making me sad and be happy in a different way. That thing that's making me happy, being able to sing and perform for my fans like I've always wanted. But I don't think I could ever stop that. However doing that also makes me sad because I'm not truly myself. I'm Lucy Parker then and not me, Mia Williams. I've always been true to my fans but not to the people around me, like Harry. He doesn't know that Lucy Parker isn't real. She's just someone I act. She's not real and that's the worst part. I feel like I'm hurting the people around me by pretending. I don't like it. That's the part that's making me sad. That I can be real to some people, like Harry and the rest of the boys. They're all genuine and nice people and I've been lying to them, they don't deserve that. I want to live my dream but it's slowly making me sad because its not me doing it. When I'm Lucy, it feels like I'm someone else and I'm just watching my dream past by in another person. Even though its still me. Lucy isn't me anymore. I've grown out of her and her out of me. On the other hand, I feel like I will be letting my mum and Teddy down, as well as Kim and Andy. Being Lucy protects them from being in the spotlight. It's stops them from getting hate or the media bashing them. It makes my mum and Teddy have a normal life, no one following them all around all the time. If I come out and be Mia, everyone will start to hate and follow my family and friends around. I cant let that happen to them. Teddy's only five, he needs a normal life. I cant do that to him. I don't want to do that to any of them. I don't want to be the reason they all end up being miserable because of the media. I couldn't live with that.

"Your still in bed?" A voice snapped me out of my deep thoughts.

I looked up and saw Andy and Kim standing by my bedroom door.

"What are you guys doing here?" I asked wiping my face, to check all the tears had gone.

"Your mum texted us. Told us you might need us" Andy said as they came into my room and both laid down next to me in my bed, me being in the middle of them, just like we did when we were little.

"So why did your mum text and not you?" Kim asked as they both took my hands in theirs.

"Because I wanted to try figure this out on my own but it seems everyone thinks I cant" I state and they shook their heads.

"Its not that we think you cant do it yourself. Its just you need people to support you because your breaking right now. We can all see it" Andy said and Kim nodded, agreeing.

"Can we just have a movie day and forget about all this drama for a while?" I asked not wanting to talk anymore. I needed my mind to settle for me to make a clear decision, and a day away from the world with my two best friends is the best way to do it.

"Sure" They agreed.

Pulling up Netflix and that's what we did. We had a movie day together. Hidden under my sheets, like no one could find us. Like the whole world didn't exist outside of this room. This is what I needed. To go back to when everything was ok and I felt normal. A time when I didn't have any drama and I wasn't questioning everything I did. I need time to think.

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I KNOW THIS ISNT MUCH BUT I LIKE THIS CHAPTER SO I HOPE YOU LIKE IT TOO

I WILL PROBABLU UPDATE AGAIN TOMORROW IF NOT THEN IT WILL BE NEXT WEEK!

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