Silence and Sadness

Chapter 1-Hello

Gerard's POV

Hello, um...my name is Gerard. Man, why is this so awkard? Maybe it's because I'm writing this all down and I don't really know what to say to a sheet of paper. I decided to try this journal idea Mikey told me about. He said it would be good to write down my thoughts and feelings and stuff, and then I would eventually feel better about opening up to people. I don't think I will be doing this anymore. It's kind of dumb. No offense, Mikes.
Yeah, I guess I should explain some more. Let's start this over. My name is Gerard Way. I was born April 9, 1977. I am a senior at Belleville High School, class of '95. have a younger brother named Mikey. He's a freshman. Besides each other, we really only have two friends- Ray and Bob. Ray was a senior and Bob was a sophomore. We were really good friends. I lived with my Mom and Dad and Mikey in a nice little house in Belleville. I...um...I like to draw. No, scratch that- I love to draw. Ok, this is ridiculous and I'm stalling. I owe you an explanation.
I'm selectively Mute. It's a social anxiety thing. I also get panicky in crowds, and there have been times I've had panic attacks. I don't like talking, at all, to anyone. I talk to my parents, occasionally, and that's only small, quiet words and phrases. I don't openly have conversations with them. Mikey's really the only one I talk to, and I don't really talk to him that much, either. I don't know completely why I've never felt comfortable talking more openly to people. I guess I just prefer the silence. It's weird, but so am I, so I can't complain. Anyway, I'm a senior in high school, which I've never been more glad to say. High School has been one heck of a ride, but soon I'll be gone. Unfortunately, I can't say the same for my brother, Mikey. He's just a freshman, so he'll have to deal with all the jerks in school while I'm off at college. That scares me. Mikey's not exactly the toughest kid in the world. I mean, sure, when he gets mad, he gets MAD. You know that whole thing about Don't pick on the quiet ones. A quote which I've always found to be quite Ironic in my case, but whatever. The only thing that keeps me from worrying too much about Mikey is the fact that he'll have Ray with him until his Junior Year, and hopefully by then he'll be able to take care of himself.
      Anyway, I hate high school. People don't understand the fact that I like being quiet, and they always feel the need to express their opinions of me, most of which are negative. Plus there's the fact that I'm gay. I have no problem with it, no reason to hide it. My parents know, and they don't care. Some boys like boys, some girls like girls, some people like boys and girls. It's nothing to be ashamed of, and so they make it a point to not let me feel ashamed of it. I can't help who I love, that's just the way I was made. Mikey doesn't care, either, and that makes me really happy. Mikey is my world, the best little brother anyone could ask for. He understands me perfectly. We've always been there for each other. All I needed in the world was for him to understand me. The fact that Ray and Bob understand me is just a sweet bonus. They were all I needed.
At least, that's what I thought...until he moved to town.

Hey, everybody! I decided to do a frerard until I got some responses to my requests for my killjoys fanfics. I know it's a bit repetitive, but I really want to try this, and a lot of MCR fans read frerard, so I figured it's good...advertisement. (For lack of a better term). If you want to be a part of my fic, I need your killjoys info. Anything you think will be useful to me, or want me to include, include it. If you use wattpad, or know someone who does, they can send me a message through here. If not, my email is prlightspeed@gmail.com. I really want to include actual killjoys instead of taking a whole lot of time to come up with a bunch of different ones, and then possibly have someone hating on me because I used their identity/name or something without knowing. Thanks!
This chapter was just sort of an introduction. This is the first frerard I've written, so I'm sorry if it's not the best. I'm sorry I don't write smut or anything like that, but as I've said I'm the oldest of four and I don't want my siblings reading that someday, plus my mom will kill me. Maybe someday when I'm a bit older, and out of the house (😋). If you guys like it, maybe you can give me ideas and I can write some more. On that note, I am a very busy girl. I'm in advanced classes, so I have summer homework. I have one story (not on wattpad) I need to have done asap, preferably by the end of summer vacation, for personal reasons. So that's taking a lot of my time up. I also have four or five other stories on here I need to work on for all of you lovely people, so there's that to work on, too. I will try my hardest to keep everything on a good update schedule, but I can't make any promises. I hope you understand.
Finally, I want to say thank you to everyone who has read my first Heart of Nubia story and my Code Lyoko: The Masters Fanfic. Heart of Nubia was my first original story on here, and Masters was my first fanfic, so to see them make as much progress as they have makes me so unbelievably happy. Thank you to everybody who has read them, and if you haven't, you're reading this, so thank you for that. Basically, what I'm saying is thank you all for your support, it makes me so happy.
As always-read, comment, vote, and enjoy! Thanks for everything!