Silence and Sadness

Secrets Come Out

Hey! So firstly, I was reading the FIRST chapter of this story (way back when!) and I realized I went and screwed up right off the bat. Idk if anybody noticed, but I said that Ray was a senior and Bob was a sophomore. I mixed them up. Ray is a sophomore and Bob is a senior. Sorry!

Also, this is a WARNING! This chapter includes self-harm/discussions of self-harm, and may be triggering to some people. You've been warned.

{Frank's POV}
         I was sitting at the lunch table with Bob, Ray, Mikey and Gee, eating salad. Today wasn't one of my best days. My dad didn't come home until about 5 this morning, and he had come home extremely drunk. I had been just about to head out the door when he started hitting me, as always in places where the bruises wouldn't show. He pushed me and I smacked my head on the wall, and now I had a killer headache. Gee noticed as I rubbed my temples, eyes squinted in discomfort. "Frankie, honey, are you okay?" He asked. You know, I was NOT okay. I was tired-tired of my dad, tired of jerks at school, tired of everything. I stood up from my seat and ran to the bathroom by the gym. Quickly, I locked myself in a stall and began rifling through my bag until I found what I was looking for- my blade. I ran my fingers across the cool metal, my eyes staring at it in awe. This way the key to my happiness, the one way I could feel good about myself. This was what the world wanted from me, right?
       I pulled up my sleeve and slowly slid the blade across my skin. "One for the father that doesn't care." I muttered. "One for the son that lives to be a useless disappointment." I said, sketching another line into my skin." "One for the world that wants me to die." I said, tears starting to fall down my cheeks as I said these last words. I stared at the blade, which was just at the edge of my skin, preparing to make the final incision. In one swift motion, I threw it to the ground. What was I doing to myself? I was really going to stoop this low, allow myself to get this bad? I couldn't do this. What would happen if I died, if I killed myself? What would Gee do? Would he be able to live without me? What if he got back into his old habits? What if he did something really bad? It would be all my fault. Even in death you'd still be a disappointment, I thought. No, no thoughts like that. I watched the blood carefully slide down my arm. Slowly and mechanically, I rose to my feet and unlocked the door, only to be stopped.
{Gerard's POV}
         All I did was ask if Frankie was okay. He looked like he had a really bad headache. As soon as I asked, he got up and ran. I stood and started running after him. "Gee, wait!" I heard Bob call. I couldn't wait. I could feel it, something was very wrong. I saw Frank run towards the bathroom by the gym. I stood outside the door for a few seconds before entering the bathroom as silently as possible. I saw a pair of sneakers underneath the last stall, Frankie's sneakers. I went and stood a few inches from the door and listened. "One for the father that doesn't care...one for the son who lives to be a useless disappointment...One for the world that wants me dead." He muttered softly and sadly. My heart broke. He couldn't be...he wouldn't. I jumped as something hit the floor of the stall, and looked down, praying that it wasn't true. My prayers weren't answered as I looked down and saw the blade, covered in the ever-so-familiar dark crimson stain. Blood. He had done it. I still didn't want to believe it. I heard him get up and shuffle to the door. I stepped in front of the door just as he opened it. He stopped when he saw me, but he couldn't look me in the eyes. I looked down at his arm, and finally I was forced to believe it. "Frankie..." I started. "Gee, why did you follow me? You weren't supposed to follow me! You weren't supposed to see me like...like this!" He cried, tears falling to the floor.
       Slowly, I reached out and grabbed his wrist, examining the wounds in confusion. He had counted out three, but I only saw two fresh ones. "I couldn't do it. I couldn't do the third one. I'm so pathetic, I can't even cut properly! I'm just a huge disappointment." He said. I pulled him over to the sink and carefully started washing the blood off of his wrist and hand before giving some paper towels and ordering him to press it against the wounds. Then, I took some more paper towels and carefully wipe up the blood on the floor. Finally, I picked up the blade. It's cool metal felt familiar in my hands. It always would. I self-harmed for so long, the blade had become my best friend for so many years. Now it was my enemy. I threw it into my pocket, making a mental note to run to my locker and throw it in my bag before class started. I would throw it out when I got home.
        Frankie was watching me with red, tear-stained eyes. "You know, I see it now. That look in your eyes." He said. "What do you mean?" I wondered. "Bob...Bob caught me self-harming a few days ago. He said...he said he knew what I was going to do and followed me because he knew the look in my eye. He said it was the same look you had in your eyes when you wanted to...you know. I see it when you look at the blade, but it's not as strong. There's a small part of you that wants to, but you know you can't. You're so much stronger than me, Gee. You don't need me. You're beautiful, and amazing, and talented. You can go anywhere, be with anybody you want. You don't need me." He said.
      If my heart was broken before, it was shattered at this point. His words ate right through me. "You know, when we first started going out, I thought the same things. I thought that you didn't deserve to throw your entire life away, change everything, for some worthless, low-life piece of trash like me. And then, this angel appeared in my room one night and sat with me and told me, 'I don't care if you have panic attacks. That's what makes you Gerard Way, and I think Gerard Way is pretty freakin awesome!' And ever since then, I haven't felt those bad feelings anymore." I said. Slowly, I moved forward and took Frankie's hands in mine. "That angel was named Frank, and he is the best thing that ever happened to me." I said, then planted a small kiss on his lips. "You are the best thing that's ever happened to me. I need you more than you could ever know, Frankie. I don't care that you are sad sometimes. That's what makes you Frank Iero, and I think Frank Iero is pretty freakin awesome! You're perfect to me, and if you need help to get through this, then I will be there for you." I said, pulling my angel into a hug. He started sobbing gently into my shoulder. "Shhh, it's okay, baby. It's okay." I whispered. We stayed like that for a few minutes before he pulled back and said, "I'm so sorry, Gee. I should have told you sooner. I shouldn't have lied to you." I cupped his beautiful face in my hands and said, "It's okay, Frankie. You were scared to. I know that feeling. Just remember, you don't have to be afraid to talk to me. You can trust me." He sank back into my shoulder. I smiled and wrapped my arms around him once again. "I love you, Gee." He muttered into my jacket. "I love you, too, Frankie."

Well, there you have it! I feel like this is a little shorter, but wasn't it just so adorable? If you liked this, please remember to vote/comment. Later!