Silence and Sadness

A Vow

{Frank's POV}

I was sitting in the backseat of Gerard's car with Bob and Ray. Gee kept smiling back at me in the rear view mirror, making me smile. Then, I started wondering about the story he told me on the bridge. I looked over at Bob, who was having a conversation with Ray and didn't notice me look at him. For someone who stopped someone from killing themselves, he seemed like a normal guy. If I had done something like that, I probably would have been a little different. I don't really know how, but Bob just acted like it didn't bother him at all. It had to bug him sometimes, right?
We were standing around in the courtyard when I decided to go up to him. "Hey, Frankie, what's up?" He asked, looking up from his phone. He and Ray had been looking at something on it. "Uh, hey, can I talk you for a minute?" I asked, a little awkwardly. I had no idea how this conversation would go. "Um, sure." He told Ray he'd be back in a minute and followed me until we were out of earshot from the others. Gee and Mikey looked at us, then went over to Ray and started to talk to him, probably asking what we were doing? "So, what's up?" Bob asked. I ran a hand through my air. "So, the other day at the bridge, Gee told me about when he...um...tried to...you know." God this was going so well! Bob kind of frowned, but gave me a look, silently telling me to continue. "He told me about how you...talked him down." I said. Bob sighed. "It was nothing, really. He just needed someone to talk to, and I was there, and..." He stopped. I was shocked. "It wasn't nothing, Bob. You stopped him from jumping off a bridge! You saved his life, Bob! That's a pretty big something!" I argued. He rubbed the back of his neck, looking down at the ground. "I just...did it. It's nothing to get worked up about, really, Frankie. He's not as depressed as he used to be, he's stopped hurting himself so much. He used to drink real bad, and he's been cleaning up. He's getting better, Frank. I'd rather just be there for him while he gets better, not dwell on something that happened in the past." He said. He sounded upset, but I knew he wasn't angry at my curiosity.
I nodded. "I was just wondering how you felt about all of that. You saved a person's life, and you act so...you act like it never bothers you." I said. "Of course it bothers me, Frank! What would have happened if Gerard didn't listen to me? What would have happened if I hadn't wrestled him off the ledge? What would have happened if one of us, or both of us, had fallen off the bridge when I did get him? Somebody could have died, and it most likely would have been Gee! I wouldn't be able to live with myself if he had done it, and I could have done something better to get him to not do it. I would have let Mikey down. What would have happened to Mikey if Gerard had died that day? Gerard is Mikey's entire life, Frank, and if he had died? Mikey probably would have gone down the same road Gerard did. I couldn't let that happen." He said. His face had turned a slight shade of red, and his voice had gotten a bit louder than he probably intended. I looked over at the others, and thankfully no one seemed to notice. When I looked back at Bob, his hands were balled into fists, and he was trembling slightly. "Hey, listen. I'm sorry, okay. I was just curious. I shouldn't have made you have to relive that. Gee is going to be okay. We're going to get him through this, okay? Come on, let's go back over there." I said. He took a few deep breaths, unclenched his fists, and nodded. We walked back over to the others. Gerard reached down and grabbed my hand. "Are you okay?" He asked. I nodded. Bob looked at us and smiled. Gee didn't notice, since Mikey was showing him something on his phone. Bob leaned in close. "Thank you." He said. I was confused. "What for?" He looked over at Gerard, who was laughing at whatever Mikey was showing him. "For making him happy." I smiled and Bob patted me on the back. "He makes me happy." I said.
       The warning bell interrupted everyone's conversations. "We should get going. Come on." Gee said to Bob. Bob nodded and took off with Ray. Gee pressed his lips to mine in a quick kiss. "Love you. I'll see you later." He said when he pulled away. "Love you too. See you later." I said. He walked off to class with Bob and Ray while Mikey stood there, waiting for me to get moving. I followed him to class. We were mostly silent the entire walk, until we reached the hallway or class was in, all the way at the other end of the hallway. "So, what were you and Bob talking about?" Mikey asked, a bit suspiciously. "Nothing really. We were just talking about me and Gee." I lied. I didn't want him worrying about anything. It's bad enough Bob was upset. Gerard and Ray were probably asking him about our conversation now. Mikey gave me a look like I was stupid. "Really, Frank, come on. Just tell me. I won't care." He said. I cursed in my head. How does he always seem to know when people are lying? "We were talking about...Gee's suicide attempt. I was wondering how Bob could've...stopped him and still act so normal." I admitted. Mikey took in a sharp breath. "Are you okay?" I asked. He nodded. "Yeah. I just...I try not to think about it too much. It's okay, though. Obviously, Gerard told you about it. I assumed that's why he picked the bridge to talk to you. It's pretty symbolic to him. Of course, he almost lost his life there, so that's understandable." He said.
       I nodded and followed him into Mrs. Mason's class. She explained what we were doing, which was a worksheet with our desk partners. Thankfully, mine was Mikey. She handed out the papers and let us go off on our own. Mikey started reading over the page, figuring out what we were doing. "So, how did you feel about the whole thing, if you don't mind me asking?" I wondered. He glanced up at me from the corner of his eye and shrugged, then sat up. "I don't really know, Frank. I mean, my brother tried to kill himself. You don't just...move on from that. But, I know that Gerard is trying to get clean, and he's doing better, so I need to be there for him." He said. "Yeah, but like, what happened? I just want to know as much as possible, so I don't, you know, mess anything up or say anything to upset him." I explained. He looked at me with an exhausted sort of expression. "If you don't want to upset Gerard, don't mention the name Bert." he said. "Why? Who's Bert?" I wondered. "He was one of our friend's a few years ago. He and Gerard dated for a while, but it wasn't a good relationship. Gerard would never tell anybody, but we all knew. Bert was beating him, getting him into alcohol. He'd never forced Gee into anything, and Gee never wanted to go that far, so as far as I know, they never did. But if Gee didn't do something Bert wanted, he would hit him. Once, Bert wanted to hear Gee talk, and Gee refused, but Bert kept telling him to talk to him. When Gee screamed that he wouldn't do it, unintentionally, Bert lost it. Long story short, Bert beat the crap out of him and he ended up in the hospital. I was so mad, because I knew about what Bert was doing, and I didn't do anything to stop it. Ray stayed over the night Gee came back from the hospital. Gee told me he never wanted to see Bert again, and Ray and I both promised him that we would make sure that he never did. Gerard lost trust in almost all people that day, Frank. He really loved Bert, and all Bert did was beat the crap out of him. Thankfully, Bert moved. He got him into drinking, and after the incident with Bert the drinking only got worse. Then, he started cutting. I suspected that was because Bert would always make fun of him, and he started to believe some of it. He stopped cutting for a while, but then our Grandma...left...and he started up again. His life has been one thing after another, Frank, and I'm just here to make sure he doesn't try to take his life again, not dwell on the time that he almost did...while I stood off on the sidelines, crying my eyes out in Ray's arms." He said. A few kids around us were starting to give us strange looks, but I quickly shot them down with a single glare. Mikey was shaking a bit, and tears were starting to slowly fall down his face. I wrapped an arm around him. "Hey, it's alright. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have pushed you into talking about it." I apologized. He sniffled and removed his glasses, wiping at his eyes. His eyeliner was only a little smeared, but easily could be fixed. As a matter of fact, one of the first things Mikey did was pull out his phone, open his camera to use as a mirror, wipe away the thin smudges, and reapply his makeup. I chuckled as he did this, and he let out a quiet chuckle because of me laughing at him. He checked his eyes one more time in the camera, then put away his eyeliner and makeup.

        We continued laughing until Mrs. Mason looked back at us. Then, we stopped and remembered we had work to do, so we started that. It was super easy, and we finished with about ten minutes of class left, so we just sat around. Mikey had his headphones in, so I didn't bug him. My mind wandered to Bert, and how much of a jerk that guy was. I mean, Gerard was selectively mute. He didn't like talking to people. Bert forced him into talking to him, and when he didn't get what he wanted, he put Gerard in the hospital! It was absolutely ridiculous! I couldn't believe all the crap Gerard had gone through in his life. He was only eighteen! Nobody should have to be put through all of that, especially not someone as sweet and amazing as Gerard. Right then and there, in that high school classroom, I made a silent vow. I was going to make sure Gerard got clean and stayed safe, and I was going to help make absolutely sure he never heard the name Bert McCracken again!

A/N: Hey, everybody! How's life? Good? Good. I just would hope so. If not, well then feel free to message me if you need someone to talk to. I'm always here! Anyway, if you liked this chapter, please remember to comment and/or vote, and be on the lookout for new chapters. The end date for the Watty's is next Wednesday, so I'm working overtime, which means I'll probably have a new chapter (sometimes maybe two) at least every single day. Thanks for reading! Peace!