Silence and Sadness

More than friends.

{Gerard's POV}
When school was over, Mikey and I met up with each other at our lockers. The lockers went alphabetically by last names, so we were obviously next to each other. When we had grabbed all of our stuff, we met up with Ray and Bob in the back by the parking lot. That's when I noticed Frank standing behind Ray. "Hey, guys. I hope it's okay if I invited Frank." He said. Mikey shrugged and said, "Fine by me." They all looked at me, Ray and Bob giving me hinting glances. I rolled my eyes and shrugged. They nodded, not complaining about my silence. That's what friends were for, right? I unlocked my car and climbed into the driver's seat. Mikey went to get into the passenger seat, but Ray pulled him into the back while Bob gently shoved Frank into the front with me. I gave them both a death glare as they shut the back doors, Mikey sighing and buckling his seat belt. He knew what they were doing, but he knew once they had a plan, they would fight tooth and nail for it. I then looked over at Frank nervously. I was shaking slightly. "Gee, are you okay?" Mikey asked suddenly, seeing my shaky hands. I nodded, but swallowed, suddenly feeling a bit sick. Mikey climbed out of the car, ran around to my side of the car, threw my door open, and put his hands on my shoulders. My breathing had suddenly gotten really heavy, and my vision was starting to get cloudy.
      "Gerard? Gerard, listen to me, okay? It's me, Mikey. Just breathe, okay. Breathe and count to ten. Okay? One...two...three..." I repeated the numbers with him under my breath until we reached ten. My breathing slowed as I blinked repeatedly until my vision cleared. I was still a bit pale, and my hands were still trembling a bit, but I felt better. "You okay?" Mikey asked. I nodded, still swallowing back the sickness. "Alright, well you still look a bit sick, but I'm not letting you drive like this. Bob, you think you can drive us all back to our house?" He wondered. Bob replied with a "yeah" and climbed out of the back seat, waiting for Mikey to sit Gerard comfortably in the back seat. Mikey climbed in beside him. Bob started the car and pulled away from the school, reaching the Way's house in minutes.
{Ray's POV}
Mikey brought Gerard in to get him a glass of water. Bob and I stayed behind with a very guilty looking Frank. "I...didn't do that to him, did I?" He asked. "No, no. We did. We were trying to get you two a bit closer to each other, and we didn't think that it would cause Gerard to have a panic attack." I explained. Bob simply nodded in agreement. "We should go see if they're okay." He suggested. Frank and I agreed and followed him inside and into the kitchen. "Hey, Gee. You okay?" I asked, putting a comforting hand on his shoulder. He nodded and took another small sip of his water. Mikey looked up at Bob and I, giving us a small signal to follow him. "Frank, how about you sit and get to know Gee a bit? We'll be right in the other room. If he starts to panic, call me." Mikey warned. Frank nodded awkwardly and sat down across from Gee. Gee's eyes widened slightly, but he just took another sip of water and looked down at the table. Bob and I followed Mikey into the living room. "What were you guys thinking? Gerard hardly knows Frank, and you just throw him at him like that?" He asked. "Sorry, Mikes. We just wanted them to get to know each other a bit." Bob said. "Yeah, we didn't mean to have him go into a panic attack." I continued. Mikey sighed and nodded, running his hand through his hair-the same way Gerard always did when he was nervous or frustrated or basically anything else. "I know you didn't. Just...please be careful with him. Okay?" He asked. We nodded in agreement, then followed him out to the kitchen. Gerard was sitting in the same position as we left him, his head lowered, his eyes stuck to the floor. Mikey put a hand on his shoulder, which made his older brother jump slightly, but he calmed himself down quickly. "What's up, Gee? You wanna go play video games or watch tv or something?" He asked. Gerard shook his head and gestured for Mikey to lower his head. He waited while Gerard whispered something into his ear, then pulled away. "Alright. Have fun. If you need me, text me." He said. Gerard stood up and ran off down the hallway. I gave Mikey a questioning glance. "He wanted to go to his room." Mikey explained. We all looked a little upset, but it was normal. Sometimes, Gerard just needed some alone time, especially after a panic attack. It was just something you got used to with Gerard.

{Frank's POV}
Ray, Bob, Mikey, I had been sitting in the living room for about an hour before I started to get curious. Gerard had been in his room the whole time. "Hey, Mikey." I called. He looked up at me with a "Hmm." for a response. "Is it okay if I go check on Gerard. I feel kind of bad about earlier, and he's been down there for an hour." I said. Mikey looked like he wanted to chew me out for suggesting I be the one to go check on his brother, but after a minute or two he shrugged. "I guess it's okay. Listen. You're still kind of new to him, so he may seem a bit uncomfortable. Don't be weirded out if he doesn't talk to you, it's normal. If he seems like he's panicking at all, call for me immediately. Be careful what you do and what you say. Do you understand everything I just said?" Mikey said in a serious tone. I nodded, and he sighed. "Alright. Go on. His room is at the end of the hall, last door on the right. Be careful!" He called as I began walking down the hallway. I came upon his door and went to knock, then stopped, my fist raised in midair. I decided knocking and letting him know that it was me may provoke him. Slowly, I opened the door and peeked my head in. "Hey, Gee. It's me, Frank." I said. I could hear a small gasp, and I saw Gerard turn his head towards the door, a nervous expression on his face. "It's okay. I just wanted to see how you were doing." I explained, holding my hands up in a peaceful gesture as I entered the room and closed the door behind me. He shuffled awkwardly on the bed, which I gently took a seat at the edge of. "So, what's up?" I said. Then I noticed the sketch pad and pencils in his hands. "Oh, what are you drawing? Can I see?" I wondered. He looked away and held the sketch pad to his chest. "Okay. So, you like to draw. That's cool." I complimented, noticing how awkward this conversation was becoming.
"Soo...you like music?" I wondered. He nodded his head slightly, the first real form of communication is managed to get out of him. "Cool. Me too. Any certain bands or singers?" Gerard scribbled down something on a separate page in his sketch pad and held it out to me. "Green Day, Misfits, Smashing Pumpkins, Iron Maiden, the Cure, the Smiths and David Bowie. Some interesting ones, you got here." I complimented. He gave me a small smile and looked back down at his sketch book. His pencil scratched across the page in a beautiful, amazingly creative fashion. I sat there, just watching him. He looked up at me, took the paper he had written on earlier and wrote another note, 'Was there something else you needed?' He wrote. "No. I just wanted to...hang out with you, I guess." I replied. He snatched the paper from my hand and angrily wrote, 'Why? I don't talk! I'm just a freak who panics when he meets new people!' I read the message, and I was instantly silenced. His words shocked me and...actually hurt me a bit. Why did he hate on himself like that?" It made me mad. "I don't care if you have panic attacks. That's what makes you Gerard Way, and I think Gerard Way is pretty freakin awesome!" He said. Gerard's pencil suddenly stopped moving. He slowly lifted his head to look up at me. Still looking at me, he slowly wrote, 'You...You really think all of that?' I nodded and he smiled a bigger smile. That made me smile. I nodded a yes.
"Hey! You guys want food?! Mom ordered pizza!!" Mikey yelled from down the hall. Gerard smiled and started to rise from the bed. I got up and followed him. We went into the kitchen, where Ms. Way was opening up a pizza box. "Oh, there you are, Gee. Mikey told me you had a panic attack earlier. Are you okay?" She asked her oldest son. Gerard nodded, eyeing me suspiciously. I understood his suspicion. Mikey had explained to me, when I asked, that Gerard really only talked to him, their mom, Bob, and Ray. He said that after their grandmother, Elena, passed away, Gerard fell into a sort of depression and shut himself off. He slowly started to get better, but him closing himself off eventually turned into social anxiety and panic attacks. Over time, he also started talking less and less, until he became almost completely mute. I was a new kid in Gerard's life, and he was being cautious around me. He needed to make sure he could trust me. I could wait for him. I understood how depression worked. I struggled with it for a while after coming out to my mom. She basically disowned me after that. Of course, she let me stay in the house until I could find a place of my own. She didn't like me though. Well, more like hated me. She definitely was homophobic.
I had never really had a good relationship. I had had one or two small flings, but we never went farther than kissing. They were not my type at all. They didn't even classify! But...there was something about Gerard, something different. I didn't really know what it was, but I think I liked him. I think I wanted to be his friend, or...maybe I wanted to be more. I lifted my head up at him. His hazel eyes were staring at the table while he chewed at a piece of pizza. His black hair, those deep eyes, his, soft pale skin. That's when I knew...I definitely wanted to be more than friends.

Hello, there people!! Today is the BEST DAY EVER!!!! My Chemical Romance is probably getting back together! Can you believe it? I couldn't, but there are a lot of things pointing to it, so one can only hope, right?!! 😂 I've been so excited all day, you wouldn't even believe!
I didn't really have any updates in this A/N. Just wanted to talk about MCR. As always, please comment, vote, and enjoy reading! Thanks, everybody!