Nitori's POV:
I lay on my bed wearing the same cat t-shirt and black shorts I had been wearing for about, like, the last three days or so? I hadn't been keeping count.
The room was messy and somewhat cold. It was never like this before. Never. It used to be warm and cosy and safe. But maybe the safety was really Rin.
Ever since he disappeared I feel like I've forgotten how to live, how to function. Simply walking to class or fetching a coffee is way too much effort. My body can't cope.
The thought of Rin made me wince, gripping the covers tightly in my hands. I squeezed my eyes shut and took a moment, letting my pain pass. But I'm not even sure I could call it pain or sadness now, it was more emptiness. Like when you go out to the woods and you just walk and walk and suddenly it hits you that you have no idea where you are.
I got up off of my bed and walked over to my desk, sitting down on the chair. My hand reached for my phone and I flicked it on. Nothing from him. Not that there ever was. But there were a considerable amount of messages from Momo and Nagisa, both asking about class or lunch or if I was okay. This and that and this and that.
I flicked my phone back off and slammed it on the desk. I hate it when people ask me if I'm 'okay'. Oh yeah I'm totally okay, not like the boy I love is missing and most likely dead and nobody has seen or heard from him in forever. Yeah I'm obviously okay. What a stupid question.
A sigh escaped my lips and I ran my hand through my hair. It was no longer a neat Bob, it was more of a silver mess.
Haru had dropped by a couple days ago, and you know it's bad when he drops by. He told me that I could go swim with the iwatobi boys if I needed to get away for a while. It was nice of him. I should really go, just to thank him for being thoughtful. I find it hard swimming at the samezuka pool as all I see and hear is Rin.
I now found myself standing up and heading to my wardrobe. I grabbed my swimming gear and chucked it in a backpack. I slipped out of my shorts and put on a fresh pair of jeans and some shoes.
A short while later and I was standing outside the iwatobi swimming complex. Haru had told me that this was their day and that no junior classes were on. It was quiet which was nice.
I stepped through the door and was greeted by Nagisa who had just arrived a few minutes prior. He walked over to me and smiled.
"Nitori!" He said excitedly and hugged me close.
I found myself hugging him back tightly, my hands gripping his shirt. I took a deep breath and let go.
"Just down that hallway and to the left you'll find the changing rooms, go and make yourself at home. Meet us by the pool as soon as you're ready!" Nagisa pointed me in the right direction.
I walked down the short hallway and entered the changing room. No one was there, they must already be out by the pool.
I put my bag down on a bench and reached my hand in for my trunks. I changed quickly and reached back in my bag, reaching for my goggles, or what I thought were my goggles. But of course I'd picked out the wrong pair from my wardrobe. They were Rin's.
It felt like a knife. This stupid little slip up found me crumbling.
I gripped the goggles tightly in my hand as I willed myself not to cry. But I couldn't hold it in. The tears erupted from my eyes like a waterfall. My mouth making these wails that I could not control.
I leant back against the lockers and slid down to the floor, the goggles still firmly in my hands grasp.
Suddenly Rei entered the locker room and noticed me. He stood for a second not knowing what to do as I continued to wail on the floor. A minute or two and he was sitting by my side.
"Nitori, Nitori are you okay? Is there anything I can do?" Rei spoke with concern.
But it just made me wail and cry more because there wasn't anything he could do. There wasn't anything anyone could do.
"Hey, hey!" Rei replied as he took my spare hand and held it tightly. He moved me round so that my back was against his chest and he held me tightly.
I found myself crying more and gulping.
"It's okay...its okay.." Rei spoke softly, rocking me slightly.
"He's...he's really gone..." I spoke between sobs.
I took some deep breaths and tried to console myself before turning round to face Rei.
"I'm so sorry Rei I'm being so silly" I said as I looked at the floor.
"No, no it's okay really Nitori. You are not being silly, you have every right to be upset. But I really think a good swim would help ease your mind slightly. I'll be right outside and I'll wait for you to come out" Rei nodded and stood up, walking towards the door for the pool.
I wiped at my face and put Rin's goggles around my neck. I took another deep breath and zipped up my backpack before heading towards the pool entrance.
Rei was just outside the door and he smiled slightly at me as I stood next to him. I was thankful to have such good and understanding friends.
We walked over to where Haru and Makoto were standing before diving in. It wasn't practice as such, we were simply swimming. Freely.
It was comforting and nice. I mean it was still painful as there was someone missing from the pool. There would always be someone missing from every pool I go in.
But I felt at ease.
