Rin looked at himself in the mirror. A frail tired looking mess stared back at him. Who was the man looking back at him? What had he become?
He remembered the phone call. The few words that had torn his world to shreds. He felt guilt, he felt sadness, but he also felt nothing at all.
Rin never knew how to express his feelings to Nitori. He could never find the right words to say, so he often said none. But now, now he had all the words in the world. So many things he could have said. Should have.
The red-haired boy continued to stare blankly at himself. It was funny, feeling everything yet nothing at all. For the first few days he had cried and cried. But it appeared he had cried himself dry. There were no more tears left to fall and he was left with emptiness. A shell of who he used to be.
Rin glanced away from the mirror briefly to look at a framed photo on his wall. It was a photo from last summer and it pictured himself and Nitori down on the beach, Nitori holding up a shell with a glowing smile.
To say Rin understood what Nitori had done would be a lie. He couldn't possibly understand. He felt immense guilt for not noticing something was wrong, like he could've prevented it if he had know. He could have done something. Said something. Anything.
Nitori had always made comments about how his swimming career would never take off and there was nothing else he was capable of doing. Rin had always took it lightly, continuing to encourage him and not really take the comments too much on board.
Regret. Regret was all Rin could feel. Regret he hadn't helped him more. Convinced him more. Shown Nitori he was worthy of anything. Of life.
Losing someone is weird. It's like, you go to call them, you go to go round to their house, you go to buy them a gift, you forget. Your forget that they're actually gone because you can't fathom a life without them.
It had been a month and Rin still couldn't let go.
~~~~~~~~
This is absolute crap because I haven't written in ages due to lack of motivation and mental health stuff but ahh I hope you liked it anyway.
Sorry.
