Another Day (A Billdip)

Change Isn't Always Bad

Pinetree had come again to visit to today just like any other day, he was with his sister and smiling as usual. Occasionally their eyes flickered to my statue while they were talking and I met their gazes to pretend that they could see me, but of course they can't. The name Bill Cipher would have caused fear, hatred, and even panic within them, but now they sit a few feet by me without even blinking. I'm beginning to question what my name even means anymore, and whether it has any power.

When I first appeared by my statue I had thought that I had managed to survive without any damage, which was the wrong assumption. If fact I think I'm more severely damaged than what I first thought, I can't move far from the block of stone that I created myself, no one can hear or see me, and I appear to have some sort of human form. I was equipped with standard or normal clothes. A pair of shorts, a yellow shirt and brown boots. But other than picking at my clothing there was nothing much I could do, besides I had no one to talk to, I was alone.

At first I thought the loneliness was a cheap trick to wear me down and make me regret my decisions, but now I think it's working. Loneliness became boredom and boredom began self loathing, without any power clouding one's mind it was easy to see the wrongs I had made, but I couldn't fix them without having a physical form. How could I fix what I had done, how could I show that I was sorry? The questions pilled up in my head day by day until I felt parts of who I was slipping away with time. I was losing myself. I had no connection to who I used to be, and then one day, before I was drove into madness, Pinetree came by and sat down in from of me. He started talking about how malicious I apparently was and then randomly went on and on about how his school life and how there were no mysteries to solve there. I wanted to tell him how stupid he was, talking to himself, but it was actually quite nice to hear something besides the birds chirping and my regrets. From then on he would come by and talk out loud, either with Shooting Star or with the girl he never got. Red I think her name was. It was actually enjoyable having them speak, even if they didn't know of my presence. That fact never left my mind...

Sometimes they would stop visiting for long periods of time, but when they came back, they would be a little taller, a little more grown up. Pinetree is nineteen now I think, he's the one that speaks of personal things more often than Shooting Star, even though I was sure he hated me more. In fact, why had Pinetree come by in the first place? It was a question that I didn't want to know the answer to, I felt cold all over whenever I thought about his response. I didn't like the feeling.

.........

Pinetree came by himself today, I didn't really mind though, he was the first one to speak to me after all and I have to admit that I had grown a little fond of him. But there was something off today, he seemed sad for some reason and I began to think that my worse fear was coming true. He didn't even sit down, he just stood and looked at me, or at least it felt like it. It made me pay attention to him more strongly than I would at any other time, and for a moment we stood staring at each other in silence.

"I can't keep coming here anymore," He began. I was sure that if I had a beating heart it would have stopped right then and there, but since I didn't I could only listen in shock at the words that would condemn me to a miserable existence. "Mabel says this isn't healthy for me and she's not the only one who thinks that. At first I came here to try to understand how you could be so evil, but then I started to relax and then- well... I guess this is good bye Bill Cipher."

Warm liquid was flowing down my cheeks and I stood up, putting a hand out to reach towards Pinetree or maybe should I call him...? "Dipper." I whispered, the wind stirred and he stopped turning to leave.

"Bill?" He questioned, he was clearly shocked and so was I. But if there was a way to put an end to my breaking heart, then I would do it. Maybe the human boy had become more precious to me than I thought.