Apprehensive Expectations [Sebastian Stan AU]

Second Day with a Brighter Future [Part Four]

I finished typing up the schedules that we had decided on and was just double checking everything. I glanced down and looked at my watch, sighing I stood up to stretch my a then turned around when I saw Sebastian walking into the stables leading one of the horses he had just exercised.

I grabbed my phone and put it in my pocket, before leaning over and making sure everything was saved on the computer. I wrote a note in the diary, in case David wanted to check the schedules so far.

I walked out and saw Sebastian still untacking his horse, so I quickly ran to the bathroom, deciding to braid my hair over my shoulder seeing as I was going to have to wear a helmet more than likely by the end of this session. Happy with my appearance I walked out and saw Sebastian heading into the office.

He turned when he heard my footsteps, 'finished everything you needed to do?' he asked walking over to me.

'Yep everything that we discussed this morning in the meeting, and then tomorrow David said we'll email out all the details to everyone' I said, taking a deep breathe, he took my hand as he lead me over to the tack room.

'I'm going to get him ready ok, then we can take a walk and see how you feel once we get down to the arena' he said, turning to give me a reassuring smile, 'I know you said no arena for now, but I think it's the best place for both of you'

I knew he was right, at least in an arena it was a more controlled environment, and there were less chances of something going wrong. I thought it over, realising it was going to be alright, he would be there to help me, 'would you mind maybe riding him first?'

Sebastian turned to me, 'do you think that's going to help you'

I looked down, would it even help the situation, maybe, I hadn't ridden Moonglow since I had the panic attack in the arena back at home, maybe seeing someone else ride him would reassure me?.

'I can if you want me too Alex, I don't want to pressure you at all, but once we get down there you can let me know what you want' Sebastian said, leaning up to grab my saddle and bridle. I leaned over to help him , grabbing the bridle from his shoulder.

We walked in silence over to the next row of stalls, and headed over to Moonglows stall, my heart started racing slightly, I tried to take deep breathes and realised my hands had started trembling again.

Sebastian headed into the stall and slipped the halter and lead rope on before walking out to tie him up outside in the cross ties. I watched him, as he took his time getting Moonglow comfortable with the situation, he hadn't been geared up in a while.

'Easy boy' he whispered patting down the grey gelding's neck, before reaching over and slipping on the saddle pad and then the saddle, he tightened the girth around him, before giving him a few reassuring pats.

I was leaning against the stall wall, trying to remain as calm as possible, Sebastian leaned over and grabbed the bridle from me, slipping it on over Moonglows head, and then turned to face me he took the few steps towards me.

'Alex, I know you can do this ok, I wouldn't put you in this situation if I thought you couldn't do it' he said, leaning over to place a reassuring hand on my shoulder, 'Why don't we just go for a walk'

I nodded, standing up from the wall, and walked over to Moonglow, letting my hands reach up and pat his neck, before leaning over and kissing his cheek. Sebastian came and unclipped the lead line from him, and took the reigns in his hands, before starting to head out of the stables.

We walked along the laneway and down to one of the smaller arena's away from the businesses of the centre, once we reached the arena it felt like it was just the three of us out here, a feeling I started to realise I enjoyed.

We headed into the small arena and I sighed to myself, as Sebastian turned to face me.

'How are you going?' he asked, we had walked down into the arena in silence, I think he wanted to try and let me sort out my thoughts before I started riding hopefully.

I nodded, 'I'm feeling really confused about what to do, to be honest' I said, looking over at him, and then to Moonglow.

'That's normal for what you've been through, but why don't we try and see how this goes' he said, throwing the reigns over Moonglows head, so they were in the correct position and he swapped sides.

I looked back and forth at both of them, my hands still shaking, he reached over and took my hands in his, 'Take a few deep breaths and try closing your eyes for a few moments and push all your thoughts out of your head'

I closed my eyes, feeling slightly better with the sudden contact between us, I focused on my breathing and then focused on pushing the thoughts out of my head, opening my eyes I saw him looking down at me intently, I nodded, reaching out to take the helmet from him.

He smiled, letting go of my other hand, and then turned to Moonglow, tightening up his girth and checked everything was in order, before he let me take the reigns, I gave me a leg up, and once in the saddle my heart started racing again, I felt his hand on my thigh, looking up at me,

'Take as long as you need to feel comfortable, it doesn't matter even if you just sit there and don't move, main this is you got on for today' he said, stepping back to give me the space I needed whilst I sorted out the thoughts running through my head.

We stood there for what felt like forever, before I could feel Moonglow start to become a bit annoyed at just standing there, I took a breathe and then nudged him forward letting him take a few steps.

We ended up taking a walk around the whole length of the arena before turning back, I let my instincts take over, my mind stopped racing, we did one more full lap of the arena at a walking pace and then headed back over to where Sebastian was leaning against the railings.

I jumped off once we reached him, needing some space, I sighed, reaching the ground and leaning up to give Moonglow a scratch, I felt Sebastian step in closer to me, and wrap his arm around me, pulling me to his chest, 'you did great' he whispered, stepping to around to face me, before offering to take the reigns , so we good walk back up to the stables, our hour almost up.

'I actually didn't panic as much as I thought I would, Moonglow was great surprisingly' I said, starting to ramble as my thoughts started running again. Sebastian smirked at me as we walked up the laneway. 'What ' I asked, smiling back at him.

'Nothing, just for a girl who was so determined to not ride him again, you seem awfully happy at yourself for the big step you just did' He said.

'I think it will still take me awhile to ever start riding like I use to, but like you said small steps, and I think I'm finally starting to get my passion back' I said, reaching out to pet Moonglow again as we reached the stables.

Sebastian glanced at his watch, 'I'll quickly help you out with untacking him, then I have a few more horses to exercise for David'

'Thanks for helping me out, but I think I can do it' I said reaching out to take the reigns from him, I knew he was super busy helping David getting everything ready for the summer holidays.

Sebastian smiled, giving the reigns to me, he gave my shoulder a slight squeeze before he grabbed my helmet from me and turned to leave me and Moonglow, 'Well done today, you did well, stop with those negative thoughts ' he said before turning to walk away.

I smiled to myself and then started untacking Moonglow, giving him a quick brush over before letting him go in his stall. I was happy with my progress, Sebastian was right it was going to take small steps, but every step forward was going to be a positive.

I checked my phone quickly, then decided to head back up to the house for a little while and I decided to give my mum a call to talk to her about everything that was happening, and how I had just ridden Moonglow for the first time since my panic attack.

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