Talking to Jensen

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I walked over to Jared. "Hey. Everything ok?"

"Jensen and I just had a bit of a fight so I'm not sure."

"What happened?"

"I let my friend back here and he refused to give her a pic and an autograph so I explained who she was. He agreed and said that he just doesn't want people walking all over me and that it's strange that more people asked me questions than him. He insists he isn't jealous. He just doesn't want me to get hurt or have people use me to get to you guys. I told him she was my friend and if I didn't know her really well I wouldn't have let her back here. I said "you can trust me you know." And he told me that I don't get to lecture him on trust." I explained quickly. "He just walked off."

"I-"

"Sarah, a bunch of fans want to know if you'll do photos and autographs later with the rest of the cast." A security guard asked.

"Tell them I'm not and I'm sorry."

"Sarah you should do it. Forget about Jensen."

"No. They want pictures and autographs because I'm your kid not because I was on the show. That's not the publicity I want." He nodded, understanding my reason. Jared had to go for autographs and photo ops so I sat there and talked with a couple security guards and Gen and the boys until they were finished. We all went to grab some food at an upscale burger place afterwards.

"Sarah, can I have a word with you?" Jensen asked. We stepped off to the side.

"Why didn't you give your fans pictures and autographs? I got asked about it by a ton of people who were getting autographs from me."

"Because most of them want them because I'm Jared's daughter not because I was on the show. My character wasn't that important. I don't want this kind of publicity." I explained.

"Sarah, I wasn't trying to be mean earlier. I just don't want people using you."

"And now they won't. I'll stay out of conventions and away from fans and live my little life at home."

"Why are you acting like this all of a sudden?"

"Because I don't want this much pressure and publicity. It's fine if I were a big name actress who was in a ton of stuff, but I don't want publicity for being me and being related to Jared. That's not what I expected, asked for, or wanted. Just let it go. Besides, you're the one who wants to protect me so this way, I'm protected."

"That's not what I meant. Look, I'll drop it." We ate dinner then went back to our hotel rooms. I got a text from Jensen randomly.

I'm sorry.

Why?

I didn't mean you shouldn't do things for your fans. And I didn't mean you need to quit going to conventions with us. I meant that fans will use you to try to get to us and that you need to be careful. That's all I meant. You disappointed a lot of fans today.

Sorry

I went on Facebook on my phone. And wrote a message from my actress page. Sorry to everyone for not doing autographs and ops. I sincerely apologize. I feel like for a majority of you, it was because I'm related to Jared that you want them. It's the same as if you could get them with Tom and Shep and JJ or Danneel or Gen. I'm sorry I didn't give you what you wanted, but that is not the publicity I want. If you wanted them purely because I was on the show, I'm sorry I let you down.

Comments flooded in telling me it was ok. Jared saw the notification that I posted and spoke up. "Is Jensen giving you a hard time?"

"Don't worry about him. You don't need to get on his case about it." I assured him.

"Sarah. What is he doing now?"

"I don't know. He's just saying how he's trying to protect me from getting hurt and having people use me to get to you. He told me I disappointed a lot of fans so I posted that."

"I'll talk to him."

"Dad, don't. I think I figured out why he's acting like this. What room is he in?" I asked.

"313. Down the hall." He told me.

"I'll be back." He nodded. I went to Jensen's room and knocked.

"What's up?" He asked.

"Can we talk?"

"Sure." He let me in.

"I think I realized why you are being weirdly protective and acting so strange."

"Why?"

"Because you want to keep me out of the spotlight. I don't mean that in a bad way. I think you don't want me to be consumed by the fans and everything because I won't have a normal life in a sense. You guys have a normal life but you get bombarded by fans constantly. I think you don't want that to happen to me but at the same time, you want me to have fans and feel appreciated. You knew as well as I did that those fans wanted me because of Jared. You didn't like that, but you wanted me to feel appreciated. Is that true?"

"Yeah. Wow. I can't believe you figured that out."

"See, Jensen, I feel appreciated. I am appreciated and recognized by you guys and that's all I need. I don't need publicity to feel like I matter. I didn't want to see those fans and you didn't have everything to do with that. I like my life the way it is and I don't need fans to make me realize that. I have a family and the greatest friends in the world like you and Misha and I'm perfectly happy with that."

"I'm glad you feel that way. I don't want to make you feel like I did today. I'm sorry I got all over your case about your friend. I just don't want you getting hurt or anyone trying to use you." He added.

"I get that. I appreciate your concern and I'm sorry I called you a jerk."

"Don't be sorry. I was one. We good now?" I nodded.

"We're always good, Jensen." I gave him a hug which he returned and I went back to my room.  Gen was standing outside the room with Shep crying into her chest and she appeared to be trying to keep him quiet. "Mom, what's happening?" I asked.

"Your dad fell asleep and Tom and Shep were playing. Shep bumped his head and I didn't want his crying to wake him up. I was waiting for you to get back."

"Is Shep ok?"

"I think so. I was gonna go get him checked out. The first aid people are still in the conference room downstairs for a while longer."

"Why don't I take Shep and you can be with Tom and Jared? I'll text you when I'm heading up."

"Ok. But take Clif with you. Fans stay in this hotel too."

"Ok. I will." I found Clif then took Shep from Gen and headed downstairs.

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