Crazy

14: Numb

I had cried myself to sleep that night. I felt empty by the time I was done. I had screamed several times into the thin blanket I had.

I wanted to throw a tantrum because of how damn upset I was. But I wouldn't. I was too drained and that wouldn't make my dad appear magically.

Eventually I fell asleep by some miracle. All that sleep brought me was nightmares, no rest. I woke up maybe a few hours after I'd managed to fall asleep and that was only because of the locks turning.

He's here.

I didn't feel sad. Mad. Or anything. I felt numb.

I felt like a shell. I couldn't find the rest of me.

He walked in and saw me sitting. My face must've gave away how tired I am because he cringed at how ugly I looked.

"You look hideous." He left the tray on the bed and looked at me.

"You're just as ugly if not more." I said back. My voice was monotone.

"Watch what you're saying, scrap." What kind of fuçking name was scrap!

I looked up at him, meeting his eyes.

"What are you going to do? Kill me?" A dry laugh left my mouth. "Be my guest."

His hands clenched into fists on either side of him.

"You don't think I will?" his voice was a warning. Telling me to stop before he didn't something he wouldn't regret.

I shook my head. Another dry laugh leaving me.

"No that's the thing. I know you will. I'm just giving you my permission to finish me off." I looked around the room. I would not miss this room at all once he killed me.

"I don't need your permission." I rolled my eyes, does he not get I just want this to end.

"Just fuçking kill me already." I groaned. He was annoying.

"No." His harsh voice invaded my ears. "I'm not going to kill you because I haven't gotten what I wanted yet." With that he turned around and headed for the door.

"Well then what fuçk do you want from me?" My eyes followed his every move.

"Wouldn't you like to know." He smirked before closing the door and I once again heard the locks turning.

Well if he wasn't going to do it, then I should right?

Suddenly someone came out of the bathroom, it wasn't just anybody, it was me. But not me now, me from the past. 92 days ago to be exact.

"Don't let him get to you." She spoke.

"Am I going fûcking crazy?" I looked around the room to see if there was any other people going to appear.

"Well how do you think I got here?"

"Uber?" I suggested. She laughed and my heart clenched.

I can't remember the last time I laughed. The last time I'd heard my own sincere laugh.

"Dad is looking for you, you know that." She wasn't asking. She was me she knew that was true therefore I knew.

"But he hasn't found me." I looked down at my wrists, looking for a vein. A thick one preferably.

"Don't you dare!" She came storming towards me and sat on the other side of the bed.

"He's not worth it, don't do it."

I looked at the small plastic fork on the tray.

"Sorry." I told myself before reaching for the fork.

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