the broken ones | | joshler

Breathless

•**it is the day of his 1st counseling session**•
((one week time skip))
((PLEASE DONT KILL ME FOR ADDING JENNA INTO THIS ALSO I HOPE THIS IS ACCURATE DONT KILL ME IF IT ISNT OMFG))

   "I'll be waiting on you outside of the room,okay?" Josh said, placing a kiss on my forehead as I followed the woman into the room.
I sat down on the couch, curling up.
"Hi Tyler. I'm Jenna, you can just call me Jenna, or whatever makes you comfortable."
"Okay,Thank you."
She nodded her head,"So tell me about yourself Tyler,what do you like to do?"
"I like to sing. I like playing the piano..I like hanging out with my boyfriend Josh," I thought for a minute,"I like writing songs."
"Do you write about your emotions? Your thoughts?"
"All the time...it's really all I normally write about."
"How about at our next counseling session, you bring some of your songs,okay? I'd love to look at them." Jenna said, smiling at me with a warm smile.
I nodded my head.
"So Tyler, what makes you..mad? Sad? What makes you get all upset sometimes?
Your boyfriend....Josh,told me that,sometimes you get really sad or mad for no reason."
"I have these thoughts. These really bad thoughts and I can't really control myself sometimes. I get really mad and want to hurt someone or something.."
"Have you ever hurt..yourself? or anyone else?"
I looked down at the floor, closing my eyes,"I've cut myself..I.last night I almost killed myself,I tried to slit my throat-"
Jenna looked at me sad like, with a worried, concerned look written across her face.
"Depression..I can already tell. I have something else I'd like to ask. Do you have any imaginary friends? Or..anyone who is mean to you? Is there anyone in your life who abuses you? Hurts you?"
"Blurryface" I said.
She looked at me,kinda weird,raising her eyebrows,"Who is he? What's does he do and say?"
"He tries to control me. He consumes me. He becomes me- I become him." I began, shivering,"He has black hands and a black neck, and dark red eyes. He dresses up in all black,sometimes he has little hints of white or red on,but only sometimes. He looks exactly like me, we could be twins even."
She continued staring at me, as I continued to talk,"No one can hear him unless I say what he says. Sometimes what he says, comes out of my mouth. And the things that he does to me,I do to myself. I created him, I made him, I named him. I took all my insecurities and everything that bothered me,all my flaws, all my imperfections,all my thoughts- and made it into a person. I thought it would help me to pretend like he was a person, but..."
"You tried using him as an exercise to forget all of your problems,everything that makes you sad? But it worsened, huh?" Jenna said, "okay. our session is over, but I'll tell you what," she continued, grabbing a card and writing something down on it,"Give this to your boyfriend,Josh. This has the next appointment date written on it"
I grabbed the card,and shyly stuck it in my pocket,"Thank you."

((this sucks Josh duns dick...ok so I basically just called this chapter great....fuck,then I guess this chapter sucks aSS))