Where My Demons Hide

Chapter 24

    I was sitting at the dining table, staring at my breakfast as my mind buzzed with thoughts. Haiden wasn't at the table and neither was Lydia, which made me wonder where the both of them were. Unease filled me as I began to feel jealous, which made me sigh.

    Then suddenly, I heard giggling and my head flew up. Haiden was carrying Lydia bridal style and she was looking up at him dreamily as they strode into the kitchen. My heart dropped at the sight and I looked away, unable to bare seeing Haiden look so happy, even though we weren't on speaking terms.

    "You two seem happy," Saniya commented. "How was your date last night?"

    "Amazing!" Lydia gushed. "Haiden is so sweet and romantic! It was the best date ever."

    I decided to tune her out as nausea rose up in me. Stabbing my fork into my eggs, I pretended not to notice Haiden had joined the table. I also tried hard not to notice that Haiden's eyes were on me.

    Eating, I felt angry at Haiden. I felt mad at how stubborn he had been and I couldn't believe he had stormed off when all I had wanted to do was help him. And most of all, I couldn't believe he was having a blast with his girlfriend when him and I were in a middle of a fight.

    "Thanks for everything," Lydia said loudly, and I looked up and saw her standing in front of Haiden.

     She leaned down and kissed him and he kissed her back. He smiled as they kissed and I found my eyes tearing up. I hated and loved him all at once and it was driving me insane.

    "I need to go on a walk," I blurted out, bringing everyone's attention to me. "Now."

   I turned around to leave, but I then heard Haiden say, "I'll be coming, too."

    "No, don't."

    "It's not like I have a choice," he mumbled, following me as I stormed outside.

    Haiden was such a jerk. I didn't care about what he'd been through then because sometimes, he was so insensitive. The new him was so unpredictable and it was finally driving me insane.

    For a whole hour I walked around the forest, fuming. Haiden followed me the entire time and it didn't help calm my nerves. It just made me more and more frustrated as time flew by and eventually, I couldn't hold in my thoughts. Ever since I found out about his past, there was so much I had wanted to say and finally, I had the guts to say it to him.

    Whirling around, I asked, "Why didn't you tell me about your past?"

    Haiden stopped walking and he stared at me, seeming surprised by my tone. I was surprised myself because I wasn't the type of person to shout. I wasn't the type to get angry, but Haiden had a way of getting me riled up.

    "You know why..." Haiden said, remaining calm.

    "Actually, I don't. You never gave me a reason why."

    Haiden looked away then because I was right. He had never told me why he wouldn't tell me anything. He would only say it was none of my business, but I knew that wasn't the real reason.

    "How could I tell you that?" Haiden eventually said. "It's not easy to talk about."

    "I know that, but we were best friends. I was in your life when it happened, so I don't understand why you didn't tell me back then at the very least," I said gently.

    Admittedly, it hurt that Haiden had run off and didn't tell me about what had happened to him. I knew he must've been going through a lot, but I didn't understand why he didn't seek comfort in me. We were so close and I knew I could've helped him. Just like how he had helped me, I knew I could've done the same for him.

    "You left to join the gang after your parents died," I said. "You immediately went to go seek revenge. Did you ever think about me once when making that decision?"

    "I did," Haiden said, sounding sincere. "Why do you think I got your dad arrested? I'm always thinking about you."

    His words stirred my heart and I looked away. I hated the affect he had on me. I hated how even though I had been so furious, all I wanted to do now was hug him and tell him that everything would be okay. I just cared about him too much.

    "So you did join the gang immediately after your parents died?" I asked, growing calmer as I yearned for more answers.

   "Yeah, well I met Lydia actually," Haiden answered, looking away. "She was from my village and we had both just lost everything, so we decided to team up. We then met the others."

    That explained a lot. My heart felt uneasy at the thought of Lydia, but then a realization dawned on me. Haiden wasn't a revenge seeking type of guy, but I wasn't sure if I could say the same about Lydia. Lydia seemed to be the type to act out, so I knew everything was all her fault.

    "She was the one to tell you to seek revenge, wasn't she?" I asked.

    "No, what?" Haiden said, seeming struck. "We came to that decision together."

   "Liar. I know you're protecting her, but she's ruining your life by telling you to seek revenge."

    Attacking Lydia made me feel better, so I knew that was why I was doing it, even when Haiden said she hadn't been the one to tell him to seek revenge. I hated her and I hated how she was Haiden's, which was why I kept spewing out my feelings.

   "You should've stayed with me. I would've helped you through this," I said. "I don't understand why you're with Lydia."

    Haiden didn't seem happy with my words. His jaw clenched and I felt like crying, knowing he really did love Lydia. He loved her and I stood no chance, which made me want to break down because it sucked. It sucked to love someone so much and not have your feelings returned.

   "Lydia has always been at my side," Haiden said flatly. "She's been through so much with me and she's a good person. I love her."

    "It should've been me who was at your side!" I exclaimed, unable to help it. "I should've been there for you through everything."

    Haiden remained emotionless. He didn't seem bothered by my outburst, which hurt even more. After how much I seemed to grow on him, that seemed to disappear as Haiden seemed uncaring of me as he kept his focus on Lydia.

   "Lydia is a werewolf. She's like me," Haiden said. "You can never understand me like she can. We can never relate to one another. Lydia and I both lost our families that day and we're good for each other. We know each other like no one else ever will, so stay out of our business."

    I stared at him, stunned and hurt. His words were like a slap to the face and I found tears slipping down my face as I realized Haiden thought we weren't compatible. He thought I couldn't help him and I hated that because all I had ever wanted to do was help him. I had wanted to be at his side and he had basically said I didn't belong there. It hurt so much.

    Turning around, I ran back to the cabin. I didn't want to be anywhere near Haiden. I didn't want to be at his side anymore. After everything, I was finally done with him. I was done caring about someone who didn't deserve it, which was why I decided to start acting like an actual hostage.