Where My Demons Hide

Chapter 30

    I laid in bed, wondering who to trust. Haiden was someone I loved, but I also loved my guardians. Both people kept secrets from me, but both also seemed to care about me. They were so similar yet so different, and I didn't know what to do. Silently, I hoped there would never be a day where I would have to choose one of them over the other.

    Hearing a knock on the window, I froze. My heart stopped and knowing it wasn't a safe world, I grabbed my bow and arrow that lay next to my bed. Even though I wasn't willing to hurt anyone, I knew I needed it just in case.

    Walking over to the window, I let out a breath when I saw Haiden standing there, staring at me. My heart began to race and I scolded myself. He hadn't been completely honest with me and I had to keep that in mind. I had to stop running towards him when he could possibly truly be a bad guy.

    Opening the window, I bluntly asked, "What are you doing here?"

    "I came to see you," Haiden said, seeming hurt by my attitude. "It's been too long and..."

    "I can't seem to figure you out," I said, studying him as he stayed outside my window. "I'm trying to, but I just can't."

    "What do you mean by that?"

    I didn't answer as I turned around and walked to my bed. Standing in front of it, I turned to face him again and saw that he had entered my room. He looked confused and admittedly it was cute, but I forced myself to ignore that. For once I had to stop letting what he did go.

    "My guardians told me about the deadly weapon in your village," I finally said. "They told me your village was planning on attacking my town. Why didn't you tell me this?"

    Haiden froze. He paled a bit and stared at me, seeming lost for words. Because he wouldn't say anything, I kept talking.

    "I don't know if you're a good guy or not," I said. "I keep thinking you are. I really want to believe you are, but when you don't tell me things like this I..."

    "I'm a bad guy," Haiden said, surprising me. "I'm the deadly weapon, so I'm a bad guy."

    I froze at his words, stunned. My eyes flew wide and we stared at each other for a second, speechless. I couldn't process his words and Haiden seemed upset, which led to me asking questions I needed answers to.

    "What?" I said. "You're the deadly weapon? You were going to kill my town?"

    "No, of course not. My village was never planning on killing the people of your town. The demons hunters made that up." Haiden's eyes began to tear up, leaving my heart breaking. "I was thought of as the deadly weapon because... I'm not a normal werewolf. I can transform whenever I want to and the demon hunters thought I was dangerous because of that. They killed my village to make sure I would be gone from the world, but luckily I was with you that day. But... my village ended up dying for me."

    I felt stupid then, realizing I never took in that Haiden transformed more than once a month. There was only a full moon once a month and I had never made the connection. Not once did I question why he transformed two days in a row. Maybe I was trying to get answers, but it seemed like I was never really looking that hard.

    Staring at Haiden, I saw how hurt he was. He looked so guilty and I knew it must be a burden to know you were the reason why your village was killed. It probably made him feel like he didn't deserve to be alive and the thought crushed me. No one, not even the evilest of person, deserved to feel like that.

    Walking up to Haiden, I immediately hugged him. He hugged me back and buried his face into the crook of my neck. He didn't cry, but his body was shaking and I rubbed his back, wanting to calm him down. I had never seen Haiden so vulnerable. Not even when we were kids.

    "I don't deserve to be alive," Haiden whispered, sounding pained. "Not when everyone else is dead."

    "Shh," I said quietly. "It's not your fault you were born special. Never let anyone make you feel bad for being born different."

    "It's all my fault," he groaned.

    "No, it's the demon hunters' fault. They're the ones who got scared and killed an entire village. They're... messed up."

    I realize then that I couldn't stand the demon hunters. They tried to make everything they did seem good and holy, but the truth was they were just scared of the people who were more powerful than them. It made me sick and angrily, I knew I could never look at another demon hunter the same.

    "That doesn't matter," Haiden mumbled. "If I wasn't alive than they would all be alive. My parents would still be here. My grandparents, too. Everyone lost their lives because of me."

    Haiden was living with guilt and that was why he was trying to get revenge. To feel like he was doing something for his people, he was trying to avenge them. I understood him completely now, which was why I pulled away from him.

    I hated seeing how upset he was. I hated how much he'd been hurting for years. Haiden didn't deserve this and I hoped he knew that even though he thought everyone who loved him was dead, he still had someone.

    I didn't know what compelled me, but I leaned forward. Slowly, telling myself not to back out, I neared his face and closed my eyes as my lips met his. Kissing him lightly, I was surprised to feel him kiss me back immediately.

    Both of our lips were cold, but soon they became warm as for a minute we kissed each other. I wrapped my arms around Haiden and hoped he figured out I loved him. I had loved him for years and I would never stop. Maybe he thought he had no one, but he would always have me.

    Haiden hugged me back, deepening the kiss, and I sighed lightly as we kept kissing. It was such a sweet and gentle kiss, but I had never felt more alive. Kissing Haiden made every part of me wake up and bloom with an indescribable feeling. I never wanted the moment to end.

    But eventually, I pulled away. Just so I could tell him what I always wanted to say, I stared into his eyes. His eyes were gentle and full of affection, so I smiled.

    "Hey, I'm on your side. I will always be at your side," I said. "You're the only reason why I'm alive. You saved me five years ago by befriending me, so if you weren't alive I would be dead. So thank you for being born. Thank you for being alive. Your existence is the best thing in my life."

    I watched as Haiden's face crumpled for a second. He looked away, not wanting me to notice his vulnerability. I didn't mind because I knew this was hard for him. His past was always a topic that would be hard for him to bring up.

    "Thank you," Haiden said quietly. "For everything, too."

    My eyes softened and I hugged him again. He hugged me back and for a while, we just held each other in silence. There was no words needed to convey that we needed each other. We would alway need each other it seemed because sometimes, all you needed was someone that would be there for you through thick and thin.