Chapter 16

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I couldn't be with Kyle. This was a realization I came to as I was sitting next to Aiden and working on our project. I couldn't be with Kyle because I was infatuated with Aiden, and I had been for awhile now. And now that I was actually receiving attention from Aiden, I couldn't give up now. Which is why, I had to give up Kyle. And I say that as if he were mine to give up in the first place. I slept with him twice.. both HUGE mistakes... Kyle wasn't mine. But in a sense... he was. 

A few hours after arriving, the group left and we made progress on our project. Mel nodded towards Kyle's house and I looked at her, frowning. He stood outside waiting by his car and smiling at her and waving as she walked to her car. His attention directed towards me and he began to make his way across the yard when Aiden ran up and jumped in his way. Aiden smiled at me and grabbed my hand, surprising me by pulling me over to his car. I followed along helplessly, loving the feeling of his hand in mine and sighed.

"So, beautiful, I wanted to surprise you. I got you flowers, which they're probably dried up by now because I left them in the sun, like an idiot. And I got you chocolate, which is probably melted, because again, sun. And I got you this." He reached inside his car and pulled out an envelope and handed it to me. The excitement on his face was contagious and I opened the card with enthusiasm. The card was adorable. Inside the card, were two tickets to a concert, well not just any concert. "You got me tickets to see... Yo yo ma?"

He excitedly nodded and I couldn't help but smile at him. I looked at the date on the tickets and laughed. The date was my birthday. "Who told you?!" He smiled wider and pointed over to the waving Melody. She grinned and bowed before getting into her car and pulling off. I looked back over to Aiden who giddily awaited my answer to the tickets. Something caught my attention and I was distracted. Kyle leaned against the car sitting in his driveway and frowned over in our direction. I thought about what Melody told me earlier and happily wrapped my arms around Aiden's neck and smiled, silently accepting his invitation. 

"Great! Well, I'll see you Saturday. Around 7?" I nodded again and joyously got into his car. He blew me a kiss before pulling off. I turned around towards a grinning Kyle. He blew a kiss to mock what Aiden had done and then burst out in laughter. I rolled my eyes and walked in the direction of my house but was cut off by Kyle. He smiled at me and I did my best to keep a straight face and ignore him, but every time I moved, he moved. 

"Yo yo ma?" I rolled my eyes and attempted to push past him again, and was once again unsuccessful. He crossed his arm and stood in front of me. "Why are you ignoring me? You literally just slept with me a few hours ago." He looked over my face in a concerned fashion and I avoided his eyes. His hand reached for mine and before it even touched, I felt the heat. His finger tips grazed my palm and I snatched my hand away. I swerved around him, darting into the house before he could see the look of panic on my face.

The door slammed behind me and I slowly slid onto the floor. I curved around to the window and peeked out the cracked blinds. Kyle still stood in the same place, frowning at my now closed door. He looked down at the hand that almost grabbed mine and in silence, you could hear his sigh. He shook his head and walked over to his car and got in. Once he pulled off, I stood from the floor and sunk onto the couch. Turning my phone slowly in my hand.

Why did I have to make things so difficult? Why couldn't I just tell him what I was doing? And why didn't I know what I wanted before I slept with him the first time? At the moment, I wanted him, and nothing more but to be connected with him. Aiden wasn't even a thought, and that alone sickened me. How could I be so into someone one moment, and not even think about them before sleeping with another. Does that make me a terrible person, or just a person with fucked up intentions. Maybe both? Who knows. Maybe I do want Kyle... Or maybe I want Aiden. Or maybe I want both and when the times comes, I'll have to choose. Only thing is... I don't know how to choose between the two boys.

A car door slammed closed, and then another. I quickly clicked on the Tv before my dad and brother came in and attempted to look to into the show to even notice they came in. Jacob was dressed up in his little league practice uniform and dad's old baseball cap and he was laughing at one of dad's lame jokes. How do I know it was lame? Because all of his jokes are. Jacob was always the only one who could tell I was upset and he almost always knew how to cheer up. That why when he walked into the house laughing , he immediately stopped and directed his attention towards me. 

I smiled broadly and nodded, assuring him that I was okay. He seemed unsure but continued on anyways. I was thankful for that. "Hey dad, how was work?" He smiled and came over to kiss me on my forehead and sat on the couch next to me. He seemed to kiss me every time he seen me. I guess after I went through what I did, he wanted to make sure I always felt loved. Which I did, so I guess his kisses worked, as small as they were. 

"Exhausting, as usual. Jill called off, so I had to do her job and mine..." And then I dozed off. I don't know if it was from being tired or if my dad's stories are just that boring. But when I woke up again, I was in my bed and Kyle was sitting in a chair staring at his feet. I sat up quietly, looking at him... and I mean really looking at him. How his blonde hair bounced, whenever he took a breath. Or how his sharp jaw moved whenever he clenched his teeth. Or how his hands fiddled nervously when his leg shook. 

"What are you doing in my room?" He looked up, surprised. And suddenly his brown eyes watered with confusion. I slid out of the bed, making sure to lock the door. He shrugged his shoulders and his leg continued to bounce. His hands shook slowly and I small steps towards him. "Kyle... are you okay?" His head shook no. My steps widened and I was at Kyle's side. My equally shaky touched his and suddenly time stopped. His brown eyes focused on mine and they watered. "What happened?" He took a shaky breath before he spoke.

"My mom... she was in a car accident." His voice cracked. "They don't know if she's going to make it." His hand tightened around mine and I watched as a stray tear fell down his cheek. My other hand quickly wiped it as my hand rested on his cheek. "Lily won't stop crying... I had to get out of the house.. Your house was the first place I thought of. Your dad let me in, he said you were sleeping, but I think he felt bad for me." I thought back to how my mom's voice shook when she told me about how my grandfather had died. "What if she dies... Anna, what if she dies? Who will I have? She's always been there for me, Anna I can't lose my mom." I hugged him tightly as his figure shook and my shoulder became damp.

"You'll have me... And your dad, and Lily." He cried softly, and for awhile, I let him. His tears stopped and he lifted his head off of my shoulder. He went to stand to leave but I stopped him. "Sleep here." He looked at me, my hands still resting on his face. They seemed so small compared to his face. He silently agreed and I helped him over to my bed where the blankets had already been drawn back. He laid down, and I climbed in next to him. He fell asleep quickly, tears still silently falling down his cheek. His arm wrapped tightly around my torso and I scooted closer to him, feeling the warmth from his breath on my lips. And I watched him sleep until I once again drifted off. 

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