"I can still hear his screams! It's all I hear and it just gets louder and louder until I can't tell if they're his screams or my own! I just need it to stop! Please just make it stop."
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5 things you can see.
4 things you...
Opia: The ambiguous intensity of looking someone in the eye, which can feel simultaneously invasive and vulnerable.
Ups! Tento obrázek porušuje naše pokyny k obsahu. Před publikováním ho, prosím, buď odstraň, nebo nahraď jiným.
After the first week of school the questions slowly began to die down. People were still curious about the blow in boy who doesn't speak much, but I think they're starting to accept the fact that I can't give them any answers. They can't know. I've learned to control my freaks outs. There's no way I"m was losing it again like I did in front in front of Jake, Oli and Hennessey. The four of us hang out at school and sometimes they drive me home but whenever they ask if I want to hang out outside of school I politely decline. I know they have questions but I'm not ready to share. I don't want to deal with that look everyone back home gave me. I'm sick of it.
Sitting at lunch I wasn't really paying attention to what was going on around me, not like that was different from any other day. A sudden flash went off from beside me and I turned to see Hennessey with one of those old polaroid cameras pressed against her face. She placed the picture in a weird plastic pouch before continuing to take more pictures. She took about five more and set the camera down turning her attention to me.
"Sorry. I probably should've asked if I could take your picture. It's just that you get this faraway look in your eyes and it's like you're somewhere else entirely. It's fascinating." She smiled and I couldn't be upset even if I wanted to. She studied me for what felt like ages but at the same time I didn't want her to look away. She was captivating. She grabbed the pouch and pulled the picture out, smiling before handing it to me.
It was beautiful. My head was forward but my eyes were down. At first glance you'd think I was simply looking at the table. The sunlight lit up my eyes and you could see the far away look painted in my irises. The normal electrifying blue was dulled and I could only describe the look as grief. She'd captured the one thing I tried so hard to hide but she did it so beautifully. I looked up and smiled but I'm sure it came off more sad than what I was going for.
"It's beautiful." I hadn't meant to say it. I didn't think the words would actually come out but they did and it was worth it when I saw her whole face light up.
"Thank you." She placed her tiny hand over mine, a simple gesture but it sent chills through my veins. We sat like that for a while, staring into each other's eyes. It was invasive and vulnerable and intense. It wasn't something I could explain and when her eyes drifted away I found myself feeling empty.
I was caught up in my head again so I almost missed her say it.
"I like your voice. It sounds a little sad though."
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The rest of the day was pretty normal. I ran into Jake on his way out of the Student Council Center. Jake was one of the most well-liked guys in the school so it was no surprise that he was Senior Student Council President as well as alternate captain of the hockey team.
