Friends after all - Dean Winchester x Reader

Chapter 27

Days passed by without an incident. You wished you could say. What good would come from living in the same house as Dean and Lisa? Oh and let's not forget with Sam as well and of course his parents to make it all the more better. Note the sarcasm.

At this point you didn't know how to feel anymore. Not only about the fact that Sam was being pretty much perfect to you (when was he not?) but the fact that all that was just making you love him more and more. And it scared you considering how those simple words he had said the first day wouldn't stop swimming through your mind. But as if your own thoughts were not enough of a torment there was Dean and Lisa acting all sweet, and couply and just so home-y. Like a family already forming and it hurt you so deeply. You knew you should be happy about him, in a sort of way, but seeing him move on so fast was unbearable. Maybe at this point you could realize what he felt when he saw you and Sam together.

But for you it was so much worse. He and Lisa were perfect for each other it was obvious and when they talked of the past you just wanted to crawl under a hole. They didn't do it on purpose you knew it, at least Lisa, but they had known each other way before Dean even knew you existed and it bothered you how she still had a part of Dean's life you'd only heard of but played no real part in. You knew you were being selfish but you just hoped and wished that you were, along with Mary, one of the most important people in his life that changed it radically with their appearance. It seemed that you were not all that important after all.

And it hurt as hell watching her and Mary act like mother and daughter. Of course she wasn't her mother, neither were you actually, but you had taken care of her since she was a baby and that because you wanted to and you loved her. You were the one staying up till late at night when she was toothing, along with Dean of course, you were the one to change her diapers because no matter how much Dean tried to he failed at it. You were the one there on her first birthday with Dean, on her first steps, her first words. It felt as if Lisa was stealing a part of your life, of your soul and heart, you always thought you could hang onto when things got to hard for you to take. But now you no longer had it. No matter what Dean, or even her, said of nothing changing and you still being in your rightful place that was certainly not the case.

Lisa was slowly but surely taking over your place not only in his heart but in his life as well. You soon knew he'd have forgotten all about you and you'd become a good friend and once babysitter of his daughter. Nothing more. And God forbid it but you knew there'd come one day Mary would call her mom instead of you. Because yes she would have become that and you? You would be all forgotten.

Tears welled up in your eyes at the prospect. An intense pain like stabbing in your chest. And you suddenly couldn't breath. You got up, even with a blurry vision and walked out. In your haze searching for fresh air and no noise and you luckily found it.

Your eyes were closed as you breathed in and out heavily. Your mind felt dizzy and you knew you would probably meet the ground any moment. You were so glad for the hands that found your shoulders and brought you out of your almost panic attack.

"(Y/n)?" Sam's voice made your eyes open and you looked up at him, your vision adjusting and realizing how he was looking at you with worry.

"Are you ok? What's happening?" he gave your shoulders a small squeeze.

"I'm- I'm fine fine don't worry. Just needed some air, that's all." you placed a hand on top of his, smiling softly.

"Are you sure? Because you looked like-"

"No, no Sam. I'm fine. I don't- I just need some air and- S-Sam?" you ended up asking in a whisper, looking up at him, tears starting to well up in your eyes "Can you- can you just hold me for a little while?"