Becoming Porcelain

Chapter 45- Ned

A/N: I'm really sorry about the last chapter as I believe that it was proper boring. It was basically a filler chapter that's why it was like that. So I've made this chapter a lot more interesting and longer than usual for you guys :)

NED'S POV

I rode slowly through the gates of Winterfell as the rain drizzled down on me, soaking my hair as I went. My banner men followed close behind me, watching me like I was their God. It had been like that the minute Father and Brandon had died. They watch me like I'm their prized possession, even though before everything happened they never thought to look at me twice.

Winterfell had changed since I was last here, it was quieter and seemed like it was missing something, missing something of great importance. I knew exactly what it was missing, it was missing the main things that brought it to life. My family.

When I got the news that King Aerys had killed Father and Brandon I thought everything in the world had stopped. I was stood in the eyrie with Arryn and Robert and I just froze. They didn't say anything, they just stood quietly and watched my world come crashing down in front of my eyes as I stared at the scribbled writing that was smudged onto the wet paper. In that moment I wanted to die, I didn't want to be in the world anymore. But I realised that I had things to live for, I had to find Lyanna, I had to care for Mother and Benjen, I had to look after the North and I had a newly wed wife. I couldn't just leave all that behind. That wouldn't be something that I would do. The way they were killed was horrific, something only Aerys could do. Brandon killed himself trying to save my Father, something only a Stark could do. I was speechless for days, I didn't speak, I was lost in my own mind. But eventually I came back to the world.

Benjen had wrote to me saying that I needed to return as Mother wasn't doing very well. I wanted to return home as soon as I got the news, but I couldn't. Robert had other ideas. I had to go to battle with him, and it wasn't just a normal one. All our forces had to join together to take Gulltown, it didn't go down as planned as the port was blocked meaning that none of our men could enter. Robert decided that it would be best for me to return to the North and rally up more Northern banners to fight for our cause, giving me a good enough reason to return home.

The journey was hard as the port was blocked, so I had to make my way back through hard terrain. But finally I reached a boat at the Fingers to take me where I needed to be.

And now here I am, yet it doesn't even feel like home anymore. I wanted to get that feeling of joy like I used to when I returned back to Winterfell after spending long periods of time at the Eyrie. But the place just now feels abandoned. There's no Brandon fighting in the courtyard anymore, no Father watching over his children, and no Lyanna riding around on her white steed. It was different, everything now felt different.

I dismounted my horse as I arrived into the courtyard and quickly walked over to the stables. I handed my horse to the stable men who replied with "ma Lord" at every sudden movement I made. I gave them a graceful nod and scuttled into the library tower, I knew I would find my Mother in here.

I clambered up the cracked stairs and slowly pushed the door open. I was met with the stench of damp in the air and clouds of dust encased me like they are in need of clinging to my body. This was probably the first time I had been in here ever since I was a child. I always remember it being cold. It was always cold.

"Mother?" I called out. I felt like if I shouted too loud in here everything would break, as all the books were so old.

I heard movement coming from behind the shelves of books so I headed that way. The floorboards beneath me groaned with each step I took and I grimaced at the awful noise. But I stood still in my tracks when I saw my Mother step out from behind a book shelf.