Who Are You (Camren)

Chapter 12: It Started With a Whisper and that Was When I Kissed Her

*Camila's P.O.V*

"She loves me." I smiled to myself, thinking as the show slowly ended.  "and not just in a best friend way either.  She actually loves me.  Lauren Michelle Jauregui kissed me and told me she has always loved me.. Ah!" I'm freaking out to myself inside my head.

We made our way off the stage and ran into a huge group hug.  "That was great!" Normani said happily.

"The energy was seriously amazing." Ally added.

We laughed and chatted excited about how the tour will go.  Eventually Mr. Foxxe came over and interrupted us, "Ladies, are you ready for dinner? The car awaits us."

I giggled at his professionalism, "Actually Lauren and I are going to stay on the bus, we have stuff to talk about, especially because of the events that have happened the past couple days."

He nodded, "Alright, just please stay on the bus.  I can not stress that enough." We both agree.  "Alright, ladies?" he said gesturing to the rest of the girls.  They all stood up and waved goodbye, following Mr. Foxxe out of the building.

"You ready?" Lauren asked, standing up and out stretching her hand.

"As I'll ever be." I smiled nervously and took her hand.

We walked hand in hand to the bus.  When we entered Lauren went to the closet/bathroom to get comfortable clothes to lounge in while we talked.  I did the same, grabbing my sweats and t-shirt off my bed, I slipped them on before Lauren came back.

She eventually returned to the room, no make up on, wearing sweats and an oversized tee, her hair in a messy bun on top of her head.  She looked so beautiful, so natural.  I wanted to tell her but I couldn't find the words to describe her perfection so I kept my mouth shut.

"So Camz.. She said sitting down on the couch and patting the spot next to her.  "We need to talk." She finished when I sat down next to her.  I nodded, not knowing what would come next.  I felt tears start to form in my eyes, I looked to my lap as a few escaped and rolled down my face.  She lifted my chin with her index finger then wiped away my tears with her thumbs, holding my face in her hands.  "Why are you crying, love?" she asked cocking her head.  I shook my head my tears falling.  "Camila," she urged on, "Tell me what's on your mind, that's what this talk is for." She grabbed my hand and rubbed her thumb smoothly over mine in reassurance.

"I'm s-sorry." I stuttered as more tears fell.  "I shouldn't have kissed you that day at the studio when you were mad, it was my first impulse and I was wrong to do it without giving you any warning at all.  You left and it was all my fault.  I'm sorry I love you in all the wrong ways, I'm sorry I'm not a good best friend, I'm just so sorry.." I got cut off by sobs emerging from my lips instead of words, damn my insecurities.  She held me until I calmed down.

She looked down at me relaxing on her chest as we sit on the couch.  She wiped my tears again and sighed.  "Camila, don't be sorry.  Nothing is your fault.  I did not leave because of you, that was just timing.  I was overwhelmed and felt like I needed to get away from everything and every one." She ran her fingers through my hair, "You're the best best friend I've ever had, you're amazing.  And no Camz, you don't love me in all the wrong ways? Why would you say that?"

"I love you as more than my best friend.  I think you're beautiful, smart, kind, warm-hearted, and like the most perfect person I've ever met Lauren!" I sat up getting slightly aggressive because this was the first time I've actually ever let out my emotions.  "You were my first kiss, and second for that matter, and both time it felt so right.  I feel safe when I'm in your arms.  You make me smile on my darkest days, you're there for me whether it's noon or 3am.  You never leave my side, heck, you were even there for me when you left to deal with your own shit!  I don't deserve you as my best friend and that hurts because I have come to terms with the fact that I'm in love with a girl.." I paused, her jaw dropped.  "I'm in love with you Lauren Jauregui and I know you'll never feel the same!" I uttered out the last words running out of breath.