The Intern // 5 Seconds of Summer

A trophy father's trophy son by Sleeping With Sirens

They drop me off and me and Lou's hotel. I just nod and jump out of the car.

"Uh. Thanks." I say, throwing my bag over my shoulder.

"You're welcome." Ashton says and once I'm far enough, Calum closes my door and they drive off.

I hurry up to my room and swipe in the door key. Its now about 4pm and there's nothing else for me to do the rest of the day. I could blog. Or go on twitter. Or sulk. Or play Ds.

Let's sulk. My journal is still pretty empty.

I situate myself onto my bed and bring up my pikachu pillow and rest my chin on it. I reach over and pull out my journal. The dark red leather is cracked and worn out, but it means the world to me.

Dear Journal.

Today has been lame. Well, it could of been worst. I mean, I did spend the day with 5SOS. Even if I manage to make them all hate me. Well, I'm not sorry...

Breaking down is not easy to do for me so I let out a sigh and bite my lip. Why am I so horrible? Why do I push people away? This is something I can't seem to stop. Ever since my father.. well, you get the idea

....Thoughts of my father keep coming and going. I wonder if my mom is safe at home without me. I wonder if they're dating again secretly, even though he's a bad man. She could do so much better.. oh well.

I slam my journal shut and push it under my bed pillow. This is not the time or the place to deal

"Fucking he-" I stop my curse, the door opening. I wipe my eyes and look up.

"Hey Ry- are you okay?" She asks, dropping some bags down and sitting on the edge of my bed.

"Yeah. I'm great." I say, turning down the TV. I show her my signature fake smile.

"Oh., okay. I grabbed a few things." She says getting up and pulling the bags over.

"Like?" I say, sitting up and trying to look into the bags.

"A book for you to write notes in. Hair dye kits for beginners. Fun stuff." She says with a grin.

"Who's hair?"

"Michael brought up that he was getting tired of pink hair so..." she says, her voice trailing

"What? Me? Excuse you but he would never let me." I say, crossing my arms over my chest.

"He just might."

***

"So.. is it okay?" Lou asks. "She's a pro. I promise." She smiles into her phone.

Lou is currently debating with Michael either to let me dye his hair or not. I'd rather not, seeing if I do a shitty job it will be considered sabotage and not a simple mistake. And even with the slim chance of him agreeing, I'd have to go back into their house and have an awkward reintroducing with the other boys. 

"Here. Talk to her." Lou says, passing me the phone.

"I don't want to." I hear Michael whine.

"Why hello, Clifford. What a joy it is to speak to you, as well." I say to him.

"You're not touching my hair." He spits.

"Than you're stuck with washed out, faded hair. Which is coming from me." I say to him. "Faded is the best way to be."

"What?" He asks.

"Nothing. So candy pink or hot boy brown? The choice is yours." I say quickly.

There a moment of silence and then jibber-jabber in the background. He's probably consulting the bunch of boys for their opinion.

"Fine." He says back. "When?" He asks, and I look at Lou.

"Tomorrow before the concert. A big reveal." Lou shoots, loud enough for him to hear.

"Sounds good." He says and the boys cheer in the background.

"K." I say and quickly hangup.

I give Lou back her phone and crawl into my bed. Tomorrow is the first day of their show. Lou is gonna teach me to do their hair for each boy and help with outfit pick. Not my forte, but it will do.

I pull up the blanket and snuggle under, bring pikachu close to my and I cuddle it. Night is probably the most vulnerable time for me, when I let most of my wall down. I roll over and see Lou sitting on her bed, going through the TV choices. The time says 9, but to my body which is still a tad jet lagged, its currently midnight. I could sleep...

I feel my breath slow down and I close my eyes, releasing myself into my dream world.

I'm in the boys house but what seems at the party. The house is just pulsing with the beat of loud music and people shouting. I see myself, as though I am in third person, walk straight pass Luke and towards Michael. Weird. What is this emotion coming over me. Jealousy? Why? I step forward to watch but see nothing but the endless babble that we had. 

"Michael is with Ryan.." I hear myself say, uncontrollably.

"Who's the girl Michael is talking to?" I hear Luke as over my shoulder.

"Uh. Ryan, I think." I say.

"Really? Hm." He just mumbles back.

I walk away and head into the kitchen, grabbing a red cup and pouring myself a drink. I take a quick sip.

"Hey!" I hear Calum wave at me towards him. I turn around and set my cup on the counter. "Someone's taking your drink, mate!" He says, pointing.

I turn around to see Ryan taking a sip. Am I Ashton? Well fuck me sideways.

"That's my drink." I say, mocking how Ashton did it.

"So?" She says to me. 

I feel myself be pulled away quickly, as thought I'm falling..

Falling..

Falling..

I sit up in my bed in a quick panic, heavy breathing as though I forgot how. I look to my right to see pure black shine into the window, night time. I put my hand to my chest.

-

-

-

I have been awake since the dream.  I can't seem to process it. Especially the emotions. Why would he (or I, in this case) feel a ting of jealousy? I'm sure out of all of them, Ashton hates me the most. I would ruin him, if we dated. He just doesn't know that.

Yet.

Today is no day for messing around though. I've got work to do. This is the reason I'm here. To work, get hours and volunteer. This is no vacation. Work, Ryan, work.

Well, now I sound like Rupaul.

I get out of bed. This time around, there's sunlight leaking through the curtains that I drew shut earlier. I look over at Lou who is snuggled up into her blanket. Awhs. She's so cute for a grown woman.

I run into the bathroom and pull my Popsicle coloured hair out of its ponytail and let it lay flat. I could do something fancy or... Nawh.

I put on a Grey tank top with the batman logo on it, a black skirt and light black tights. This could be put together for someone else, but I consider this a lazy beauty. I hurry and put on my jeffrey cambells. I could just stay home or... I could go out and do something for myself for once.