Long Live Cowgirl's (NEVER FINISHING)

#28 Just a phase

Silence. 

I liked silence.

And most the time i just sit in places in silence and listen to everything buzzing around me like the breeze scrapping through leaves or the eagles whistling in the high sky's.

The tree i leaned against kinda spoke to me, standing by itself all the way out in the middle of the paddock while all the other trees are safe and contempt in their forest. Well, that's how i felt right now.

After the incident in the gooseneck everyone seemed to be taking extra good care of Leo and telling me to leave it. 

I asked Uncle T and he said the me after a big sigh "Leo's just got some stuff on his mind right now be passionate and think of it as just a phase." then he patted my shoulder and continued on setting up the BBQ. 

And Leo just sat on the hay bale that we brought for Marco on the other side of the gooseneck from where i was, i felt as if he was avoiding me. 

"Hannah remember to feed Marco." Uncle T called over to me from his sizzling steak. 

I groaned and made my way to the back of the float where the caff and pellet bags where, then i made the feed chucked it into the pink bucket, mixed it with water then began my journey to the little pen we made for Marco. As i got ten meters away i noticed Leo wasn't on the hay bale anymore and at the electric wire fence, "ya need a hand?".

"no." i said bluntly. But i lied. That bucket was heavy and life seemed to make it even heavier the second i rejected Leo. 

"are you sure?" he urged.

i swapped hands with the bucket when i made it to the fence, then looking at my other hand all red and stinging. Leo saw my hand as then immediately reached down and grabbed it, "here Hannah."

"no i'm fine." i snapped. why couldn't he just leave me? iv'e done this many times before.

"Hannah calm down i'm just trying to help." he shook the bucket out from my hand and dropped it to Marco who quite keenly began his feast.

"You just made such a fuss out of nothing." he looked at me with that face, all serious and grumpy, and i'm sure i gave him one back.

"so you can help me but i cant help you?" i mumbled.

"what?" he shook his head, annoyed as if i had just said something rude, but it wasn't rude but true.

"you heard me i tried helping you before because you where sad but you've been blowing me off." 

"you don't. you just don't get it."

i felt my body getting tense and my eyes watering up, "well that's why i want to know, so tell me."

"i'm done just go sit under that tree away from me where you'd obviously be." now he wasn't even looking at me. turning away from me but holding his ground. now i was rejected again. i aggressively fiddled with the end of my blue singlet holding the stress in. how could he say that?! horrible, nasty words filled up with my head, about to spit like fire at him. but in the end it all bottled up inside of me and when i let it go all i managed to burst out in huffs ad tears "WHY. why are you being such a prick to me!" 

i refused to move, stuck frozen crying on the spot. he turned around and saw my face but looked away as soon as he saw it. 

"Leo." i stammered. more tears welled up. and more tear poured out. 

"Hannah. Hannah come here." Uncle T ordered me, but i was so upset and frozen. when i looked at Uncle T i saw him standing a good five meters away and Ritchie and Kate standing in the distance watching consciously.